Bullying and Gay Teens: Challenging the "Innocent" Bystanders<http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mark-olmsted/bullying-and-gay-teens-ch_b_754159.html>
-by Mark Olmsted The gay community is used to having its heart broken, but nothing in the recent past has hit quite as hard as the recent spate of gay teen suicides. There are few among us who don't have visceral memories of either some form of hazing or nerve-wracking "passing" in high school -- we know all too well exactly the despair these poor kids were experiencing. The P.S.A's from gay celebs that have popped up on You Tube are certainly helpful -- they will hopefully save some lives. But they do nothing to address the bullying itself. Suggesting victims "hold on" is like asking a postman to keep delivering the mail even though he gets bitten by the same pit bull every day. Can't we do better? Appealing to administrators and teachers, and of course to the bullies themselves, has yielded clearly inadequate results. It would be ideal to reach the parents of bullies, but they are usually part of the problem. Bullies don't get these attitudes in a vacuum. They take note when Dad says "fag" or the preacher Mom takes them to hear on Sunday damns homosexuals to a lake of fire. And sometimes bullies are just passing along the verbal or physical abuse they receive at home, or covering up their own sexual conflicts. Bullies continue to bully because they perceive no downside to it and even significant upside. But the holy grail of their "popularity" is given to them by far more than just the other jocks or mean girls. It is dependent on intimidating a far greater number of students. This "silent majority" is the great middle swath of kids that neither bully nor are bullied. These "good kids," would never initiate or participate in the cruelty that kills. But their silence is taken as acquiescence and even approval by those who engage in it. These kids who don't rock the boat have more power than they know. Together, they can effectively stop bullying by shaming and shunning those who engage in it. But these kids won't be brave enough to step up unless they get the message from home that it's the right thing to do -- the only thing to do. Whatever their political or cultural leanings, every parent knows that losing a child is an unendurable tragedy they should do everything possible to prevent. It means knowing what's going on in school. It means making sure your "good" kid is not only not part of the problem, but part of the solution. It means being an example -- letting bullied kids know they are welcome in your house, and bullying kids are not. Kids live what they learn. But they can't learn what they're not taught. They've got to know if they show intolerance for intolerance, you'll be proud and protective, not punishing. More: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mark-olmsted/bullying-and-gay-teens-ch_b_754159.html -- Together, we can change the world, one mind at a time. Have a great day, Tommy -- Thanks for being part of "PoliticalForum" at Google Groups. For options & help see http://groups.google.com/group/PoliticalForum * Visit our other community at http://www.PoliticalForum.com/ * It's active and moderated. Register and vote in our polls. * Read the latest breaking news, and more.
