You ADMITTED to purjury and obstruction of justice?

I know that would land everyone else in the slammer, but hey, you were
POTUS.

So, pay the chick off, a 98k fine, and surrender your law license
(wait, thats kinda harsh - ok, just for 5 years - is that alright with
you Mr President?  I'm afraid its the best we can do, for now, but
when's the last time you were in a court room anyway?  Oh, that banned
for life from SCOTUS?  Well, you're kinda fucked there)

Now feel free to sell books and make 20 mill a year while that darling
wife of yours runs the State Department.

You be good, sir.  Off you go

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