*Witticisms*




It 's not whether you win or lose,
but how you place the blame.



*You are not drunk
if you can lie on the floor
without holding on.*




We have enough youth.
How about a fountain of "smart"?







 *The original point and click interface
was a Smith & Wesson.*



A fool and his money
*can throw one heck of a party.*



*when blondes have more fun do they know it?*





*Five days a week my body is a temple.
The other two it's an amusement park.*



*LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES**
USE BIRTH CONTROL*



 *M**oney isn't everything,
but it sure keeps the kids in touch.*



 Don't Drink and Drive
You might hit a bump and spill something.



 *If at first you don't succeed
skydiving is not for you..*



*Reality is only an illusion
that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.*



*Time's fun when you're having flies.*

*......Kermit the Frog*



*We are born naked, wet and hungry.
Then things get worse.*



 Red meat is not bad for you
*Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.*



*Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers
give the rest a bad name..*



<> *One good thing about Alzheimer's is
you get to meet new people every day.*



*Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge
to produce reproductive organs.*



*Alabama  state motto:
*
*At least we're not Mississippi*



  *ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO
MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.*



The latest survey shows that
three out of four people make
up 75% of the population

*You know why a banana is like a politician?*

*When he first comes in he is green, then he turns yellow and then he's
rotten..*

*I think our Members of Congress should wear uniforms like NASCAR drivers so
we could identify their corporate sponsors.*

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