Battle of the IQs:  Celery Stalk vs.Rutabaga

On Tue, Jan 4, 2011 at 3:27 PM, Bruce Majors <[email protected]> wrote:

>      JANUARY 4, 2011 4:00 A.M.
> I Hate You, Bristol Palin
> (Page 2 of 2)
>
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>  And now Bristol’s gone and bought herself a house in Maricopa, Ariz.,
> with some of her *Dancing with the Stars *swag, the nerve. Doesn’t she
> realize that, according to 
> Gawker<http://gawker.com/5719166/comment-of-the-day-bristol-does-arizona> (our
> bible of snark), it’s a trashy McNeighborhood filled with foreclosed houses,
> half an hour away from Phoenix? I mean, what young person in her right mind
> would want to shop for a bargain starter home? Next thing you know, she’ll
> be moving to Detroit and fixing up an old mansion in Brush Park or
> Boston-Edison and giving 
> employment<http://www.nationalreview.com/articles/256099/i-hate-you-bristol-palin-david-kahane?page=2#>
>  to
> local contractors, and that will just make us hate her all the more.
>
> You see, we liberals are locked in an eternal profane embrace with you, the
> Palin family. You are the living, breathing antithesis of everything we hold
> dear — credentialism, law schools, expensive restaurant meals, gun-free
> zones, live-in mothers-in-law, the Punahou School<http://www.punahou.edu/>,
> and skinny black ties worn with white shirts. Why can’t we quit you?
>
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> ADVERTISEMENT
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> Time to make lemonade: Bristol’s new house is conveniently located near one
> of the several hundred McCain residences, and so even a moron can see what
> I’m about to propose. In the wake of *Tron*, the air has gone out of the
> market for film sequels in Hollywood, but reality television — that’s where
> the money is. So why not this:
>
> *Beyond Celebrity Thunderdome II: Bristol Palin vs. Meghan McCain — This
> Time, It’s Personal. *Two babes enter, one babe leaves. Hosted by Sheriff
> Joe Arpaio. Because you know — you just know — that one of them is going to
> run for Meghan’s father’s seat when it next comes up in 2016, by which time
> we’ll be in syndication and rolling in residuals.
>
> Bristol, honey — have your agent call my agent and let’s make a deal.
> Better yet, let’s have lunch at Chaya.
>
> *— As he explained in *Rules for Radical 
> Conservatives<http://www.amazon.com/Rules-Radical-Conservatives-Beating-America/dp/0345521862>
> , *David Kahane still believes in the rightness of the Progressive cause,
> and in the political genius of BO2, no matter what you wingnuts say. You can
> try to talk him out of it at [email protected], or you can become one of
> his groupies on Facebook, if he’ll have you, which is doubtful.*
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