Do you recall the remake of the movie, The Fly, done back in the eighties? The script followed the attempts of a scientist to transmit life forms via a pod type fax machine. Just for giggles, let’s fantasize that this technology became widely available. What actions and consequences might we expect were this to become reality?
Ø Al Gore would immediately claim credit for the invention. Ø Homeland Security would mandate that no one could fax themselves while wearing shoes Ø The federal government would require the completion of 27 pages of forms prior to each faxing. Ø Congress would immediately vote themselves a pay raise. Ø The DMV would petition the state for additional funding to offset the loss of revenue due to reduced vehicle purchases. Ø Al Sharpton would decry that faxing somehow is discriminatory and demand that 80% of all production jobs be given to folks classified as minorities. Ø GM would announce a new technology that will reduce the Watts per hour usage and their product would be readily available by 2024. They would call this new pod, The BOLT! Ø A senator in Montana would add a provision to the defense budget that would allocate 1.4 billion dollars to build, staff and maintain a pod-processing center. This would be sufficient to handle the 112 individuals who entered the state during the prior year. Ø Comcast, Cox and Verizon would all claim proprietary rights to the transmission process and ask congress to exclude any competition. Ø Congress would vote themselves another pay raise. Ø Every city, county and state would implement a new tax on faxing. Ø The senator from the great state of Washington would decry the lack of airplane sales and request a federal subsidy so that Boeing could continue to be profitable while producing absolutely nothing. Ø Congress would allocate another 27 billion dollars to the postal service Ø A new cabinet level department would be established to monitor and regulate faxing. An initial budget of 2.8 trillion dollars would be required. Ø Under the Americans with Disabilities Act, Congress will pass a 2700 page document into law stating that 3 of every 10 receiving pads be designated as handicap only. Ø McDonalds will be found guilty in a civil trial after an individual claimed to have burned themselves with a hot beverage while being faxed. Ø Now that vehicle travel is substantially reduced, DOT will begin a massive effort to fix the highways Ø Al Gore will produce a documentary showing that fax transmissions increase the methane output of cattle and will eventually lead to the melting of the sun Ø Congress will respond by voting themselves a pay raise Ø The democrats will claim their party has enabled this new technology while blaming the past presidency for delaying implementation Ø The law firm of Count, Damonay and Suesomore will file a class action lawsuit against Exxon on behalf of all shareholders who lost money due to insufficient notice of impending bankruptcy. Ø Congressional Democrats will propose renaming Reagan National airport the Obama pod-processing center Ø Barney Frank will deliver a nine-hour speech on the house floor demanding an 80% tax surcharge on all employees working in pod production. This will offset ever-increasing unemployment benefits. Ø Congress will hold six months of closed-door meetings to address the new immigration procedures. At conclusion of committee, nothing will be done. Ø Following a rigorous two and a half hour day, the president will announce a six-week vacation for his family. Ø The federal government will announce that private ownership of a pod is not protected by the constitution and will require a one-month wait and background check. Ø Homeland Security will announce a “No FAX’ list. Ø And, of course, congress will vote themselves another pay raise! -- Thanks for being part of "PoliticalForum" at Google Groups. For options & help see http://groups.google.com/group/PoliticalForum * Visit our other community at http://www.PoliticalForum.com/ * It's active and moderated. Register and vote in our polls. * Read the latest breaking news, and more.
