An abusive, out-of-control, rageaholic GOP broke our country by shattering our trust in democracy and in ourselves. --- socialist dependents are helpless
wake up! ... the US has never been a democracy On Mar 22, 9:20 am, Tommy News <[email protected]> wrote: > Conservative Bullying Has Made America Into a Broken, Dysfunctional > Family: But There Are Ways to Regain Our Well-Being > An abusive, out-of-control, rageaholic GOP broke our country by > shattering our trust in democracy and in ourselves. > March 20, 2012 | > > A marriage counselor friend once told me that he almost always > knows by the end of the very first session whether he's being hired to > guide a damaged couple back to health, or to help them work toward a > divorce -- even when the couple doesn't know the answer to this > question themselves. > > It's easy to see, he explained. The relationship's future success or > failure all hinges on one simple thing: How much goodwill and trust > they have left. Even if they've hurt each other badly, the couples who > make it are the ones that still retain a few shreds of faith in each > other's basic good intentions. She didn't mean to hurt me. He's not > always a bastard. Deep down, she still loves me. Deep down, he really > wants things to be better. > > These couples are still seeing same future together, and still cling > to the tattered memories of why they first fell in love. Just a few > frayed threads of trust are all that's needed -- if they've got that, > the odds are high that with time and work, they can re-weave the > fabric of the marriage into something that's once again strong and > good. > > On the other hand, the tell-tale sign of a zombie marriage -- one > that's already dead, even if the parties involved haven't yet > confronted that fact -- is that one or both partners have already > given up and checked out. The trust is broken, the dream shattered, > the damage just too much to ever repair. Things have been said and > done that can't ever be unsaid or undone. There's so much bad history > that there's no way a mere human heart can ever forgive it all. It's > so far gone that pain and rage are all that remain -- and the longer > they stay together, the more brutal it's likely to get. > > If, as George Lakoff says, we tend to think of the nation as a family, > then my friend's approach for identifying salvageable marriages may > apply just as well to salvaging our democracy. Because, like all > marriages, all democratic governments are founded -- first and > foremost, above all else -- on an essential bedrock of trust and > shared vision. We need to trust that our fellow citizens are decent > people with good intentions. If we don't have even that much basic > confidence in each other, there's no way that we can work together to > build a society that works. In fact, there's not really even a reason > to try. > > Seen this way, "America" is the family name for the 310 million of us > bonded together in a covenant that's very much like the commitment > that forms a family. We have come together to build our common wealth, > create opportunities for each other that will secure our shared > future, raise our children, care for our elderly, protect our assets, > look after each other in sickness and in health, and wisely tend our > national house and manage our gathered resources so we can hand the > increase proudly off to the next generation. > > And, like a family, this is a commitment that is entirely grounded in > mutual trust -- a bone-deep knowledge that we will keep faith and be > there for each other; that we will look out for each others' rights, > property, and kids; that we will generously give the family our best > whenever possible; and that we also rely on it to be there for us when > we need help. For better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness or > health, we promise to be there for each other. The true strength and > wealth of the country begins with the strength of that commitment. > > We cannot do this kind of mutual self-governance well -- indeed, we > cannot do it at all -- unless we fundamentally trust each other's good > intentions and devotion to our shared enterprise. We may disagree on > the means, but we share the same vision about what the ends should be. > And just like in a marriage, when that trust is damaged, our future > viability as a nation becomes a wide-open question. > > This is a scary thought, because right now, America is riven by two > very different visions of the future, held by two partners who > obviously have radically different visions about where we should be > going. > > On one hand, you've got most of the country -- center-right, center, > center-left, and progressive -- which sees us as a family in trouble, > but which also believes that if we return to our bedrock agreements, > focus on solving our shared problems and fall back on our basic > goodwill and common sense, we should be able to sort things out. This > is the two-thirds of America that poll after poll shows is ready to > move forward on issues like economic transformation, inequality, > corruption and corporate overreach, climate change and energy policy, > and remaking our infrastructure. There's a sense that, even though the > challenges are big, we can solve them if we can come together, treat > each other decently, reaffirm our commitment to the future, and force > the democratic process to work again. > > On the other hand, there's another group that has entirely checked out > on us, and turned ugly and abusive. The conservative minority is > acting like Lakoff's canonical Strict Father scorned: When the family > rejects his leadership and his attempts at authoritarian contol, he > sinks into a punitive, bullying rage, lashing out at the rest of us > for what he's come to believe is irredeemable broken faith because we > won't let him be the boss. By his behavior, he is telling us in no > uncertain terms that he wants a scorched-earth divorce -- the kind > that leaves the rest of us broke, ruined, miserable, and utterly at > his mercy. He has gone so far as to hire batteries of lawyers and > lobbyists to accomplish this, and is taking a bully's evident glee in > his success. > > What Democracy Abuse Looks Like > > Here are a few broad-brush examples of how this screw-you attitude > toward the idea of a balanced, strong, cooperative American family is > playing out right now: > > Most conservatives now openly reject the very idea of democracy. > Whether it's corporatists seeking to own every branch of government > and privatize every public institution, security and intelligence > types cracking down on our civil liberties, or Christian nationalists > out to turn the country into a theocracy, conservatives are > increasingly united by the conviction that Americans cannot be trusted > to govern ourselves. > > According to Dave Johnson, if you really want to understand just how > hostile conservatives are to the very idea of democracy, and how > debased their discourse has become on the subject, just take some of > their favorite sayings and substitute the word "government" with > either "democracy" or "we, the people." > > So: "government is the problem, not the solution" becomes "democracy > is the problem" -- or, perhaps worse: "we, the people are the > problem." Likewise: "smaller government" becomes "smaller democracy" > and a smaller role for we, the people. The idea that "government > destroys liberty" is clearly code for "democracy destroys liberty." > And so on. (It's a great game you can play at home -- fun for the > whole family!) > > Along these same lines -- and despite the conspicuous way the Tea > Party fetishizes the Constitution -- it's increasingly evident that > the future they have in mind very explicitly does not include the Bill > of Rights, a people's Congress, the ability to petition our > government, or the right to appeal to the courts for redress. I don't > have to enumerate the violations on this front, but I do encourage > progressives to start seeing these assaults on our rights as clear > evidence that our opponents fundamentally do not trust democracy, and > are very deliberately out to destroy the constitutional rules that > ours runs on. > > They also don't trust diversity in any form. They're actively hostile > to the idea of E pluribus unum -- out of the many, one. Anybody who's > not white, straight, Christian, conservative, and male is inherently > not-American. And the only acceptable function of government is to > keep those Others -- both here, and abroad -- firmly in their place. > The nightly news is full of fresh assaults on the rights of those who > don't fit their narrow definition of Real Americans. > > They have embraced bullying as a political strategy and an acceptable > cultural norm, which has in turn coarsened our civil discourse to the > point of democratic breakdown. Rush Limbaugh and his throng of > hate-talking imitators have given their listeners wide-open social > permission to say ugly things in public that would most assuredly get > them fired if they said them at work (check your company handbook, > which no doubt has firm guidance on this point), and would probably > precipitate an immediate divorce if they said them at home. The tone > alone says it all: this is not the way you talk to people you intend > to have any kind of future with. > > Conservative lawyers and courts are actively carving out a First > Amendment right to bully racial and religious minorities, immigrants, > gays, and women who won't stay in their place. Almost every family > (including mine, unfortunately) and every workplace has a FOX-trained > bully who makes it almost impossible to have simply collegial > conversations. Democracy is literally not possible where such bullies > exist, because the give-and-take and nuanced discussions that lead to > good decision-making simply can't happen. Instead, all the power goes > to the person who's willing and able to throw the biggest tantrum. > That's not democracy, in any sense of the word. > > Our founders understood this all too well, which is why so many of our > basic rules of government were explicitly designed to keep bullies in > check. > > They are systematically destroying Americans' ability to trust almost > every civil institution on the American landscape. The list goes on > and on, but here's a starter collection: > > They are strategically undermining our schools by deliberately > destroying community trust in them. Like a controlling father, they > want the kids at home where they can keep a constant eye on them. > > They are attempting to privatize Social Security, prisons, the > military, and our infrastructure -- all to prove their argument that > we are no longer competent to do anything for ourselves through our > government. Like an abusive spouse, they want us to feel too > demoralized about ourselves to do anything effective to improve our > lives, let alone find the courage and resolve to free ourselves from > the abuse. > > They are bastardizing science and bowdlerizing history -- the two > fields of academia most essential to developing foresight and > understanding the implications of our future choices. And, in the > process, they are keeping us from solving problems that threaten the > continued existence of the entire human family. > > They have demonized and harassed the mainstream media to the point > where they can no longer be truly neutral about anything, for fear of > exhibiting "liberal bias." > > They repealed the Fairness Doctrine, and took over local radio. > > They are infringing on our religious freedoms in the name of extending > their own. > > They are defunding government ("democracy") at all levels because they > don't believe that We, the People, can spend the money right. (Again: > this is the logic of an abusively controlling spouse.) > > They have destroyed our economy to benefit the top .10 percent, which > effectively robs the rest of us of much of our cultural, economic and > political power as well. And they have done this by telling us that > "there is no such thing as society" -- a claim that justifies bleeding > off the vast and very real mountain of public wealth that this > fictitious American society has carefully amassed over the course of > its entire history. > > All of these efforts, and many more, are rooted in one core fact: > America's conservatives ultimately do not trust other Americans to run > their own lives as individuals -- let alone govern ourselves as a > group. And I'd argue that this mistrust runs so deep that no healing > is possible for them. They have reached the point where they very > clearly no longer want to be in this family together with us. > > The seething, simmering rage and pain are running so deep now that the > only thing that will satisfy them is total destruction of everything > that puts the "us" in US. In their minds, breaking America as we've > known it for the past 80 years is the only way they'll ever be able to > adequately punish us, and the only hope they have of someday seizing > enough control of the shambles to finally salve their fury and fear. > > To Stop A Bully: How to Restore Trust > > This kind of dogged will to destroy is inherently pathological, > whether it's happening within a marriage or a nation. There's no way > it can ever be construed as healthy. My friend the marriage counselor > would have looked at this situation -- one spouse overwhelmed by > irrational, abusive, controlling rage and constantly imputing > unspeakable motives to the other -- and written the marriage off. > > But we can't do that. We are still, for better or for worse, the > biggest, richest family on the planet. On one hand, there's no way for > them to leave, because there's nowhere for them to go, and no legal > divorce is possible. On the other, letting them destroy the great > house of America, built through generations and centuries to its > present stature, is simply not an option. > > So what do we do? If these people really don't want to be in the > marriage -- if they are, in fact, trying to destroy it by any means > possible -- how on earth can we continue to function as a family? > > We may have to do what families have always done with members who have > lost their way, but cannot be abandoned. We need to close ranks around > them, building alliances and strategies that will enable us to protect > ourselves and each other from their depredations. We cannot change > them, but it helps to realize that the faithful and decent members of > this family still vastly outnumber those who wish us harm. If we work > together closely, we can leverage our numbers and our sanity to > arrange things in ways that will minimize the damage our rageaholic > members can do. > > The most important and critical thing we need to do is to restore > trust; trust in each other, and in the idea of ourselves as a good and > worthy family. We deserve so much better; and we are capable of so > much more than our abusers tell us is possible. > > We can refuse to buy into divide-and-conquer strategies, realizing > that in this situation, the only distinction that matters at all is > the one between those who are rooting for this country to succeed, and > those who are out to destroy it. You are either on the side of > democracy and the great American family, or you are not. > > We can resolve to trust and respect each others' perceptions and > interpretations of events, even when they don't entirely agree with > our own. We can decide that we're going to stay sane in the face of > the craziness -- and stand with anybody, regardless of their politics, > who is also acting in good faith to stand against the bullies. > > We can work to create a consensus vision of the next America we want > to become, and form trusting relationships with others to make that > happen. > > We can refuse to reward bullying behavior with success. (Or, for that > matter, with any more attention than it takes to get the bullies out > of the room.) > > We can stand up before each other and the world and say: "Those people > do not speak for us, and their squalid, angry vision is not our > vision. We are a better nation than that." > > And we can, simply, continue to come together and govern. Because the > specter of citizens civilly and peacefully exercising power is, above > everything else, the one thing they fear the most, the biggest threat > to the radical anti-democracy agenda. > > More:http://www.alternet.org/story/154622/conservative_bullying_has_made_a... > -- > Together, we can change the world, one mind at a time. > Have a great day, > Tommy > > -- > Together, we can change the world, one mind at a time. > Have a great day, > Tommy -- Thanks for being part of "PoliticalForum" at Google Groups. For options & help see http://groups.google.com/group/PoliticalForum * Visit our other community at http://www.PoliticalForum.com/ * It's active and moderated. Register and vote in our polls. * Read the latest breaking news, and more.
