* *

*Subject:* Fun in Retirement....****

** **

A few days ago I was wearing my 'Viet Nam Veteran' hat****

 when I went to Wal-Mart. ****

There was nothing in particular that I needed at the world's largest
retailer but, since I retired, trips to Wally World to look at the
Wal-martians is always good for some comic relief. Besides, I always feel
pretty normal after seeing some of the people that frequent the
establishment. But, enough of my psychological fixes.****

While standing in line to check out, the guy in front of me, probably in
his early thirties, asked, "Are you a Vet Nam Vet?" ****

"No" I replied. ****

"Then why are you wearing that hat?" ****

"Because I couldn't find my hat from the War of 1812." I thought it was a
snappy retort. ****

"The War of 1812 huh." the Wal-martian queried, ****

"When was that?" ****

God forgive but, I couldn't pass up such an opportunity. "1936" ****

He pondered my response for a moment and responded, ****

"Why do they call it the War of 1812 if it was in 1936?" ****

"It was a Black Op. No one is supposed to know about it." This was
beginning to be way too fun. ****

"Dude! Really!" he exclaimed. "How did you get to do something that COOOOL?"
****

I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned toward the guy and in a
low voice said, "I'm not sure. I was the only Caucasian****

on the mission." ****

"Dude!", he was really getting excited about what he was hearing. ****

"That is seriously Awesome! But, didn't you kind of stand out?" ****

"Not really. The other guys were wearing white camouflage." The moron
nodded knowingly. ****

"Listen man," I said in a very serious tone, "You can't tell anyone about
this. It's still Top Secret and I shouldn't have said anything." ****

"Oh yeah." he gave me the "don't threaten me look. "Like, what's gonna
happen if I do?" ****

With a really hard look I said, "You have a family don't you? We wouldn't
want anything to happen to them would we?" ****

The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the door. ****

By this time the lady behind me was about to have a heart attack she was
laughing so hard. I just grinned at her. ****

After checking out and going to the parking lot I saw dimwit leaning in a
car window talking to a young woman. Upon catching sight of me he started
pointing excitedly in my direction. ****

Giving him another 'deadly' serious look, I made the "I see you" gesture.
He turned kind of pale, jumped in the car and sped out of the parking lot. *
***

What a great time! Tomorrow I'm going back with a Homeland Security hat. ***
*

Who said retirement is boring. You just need the right kind of hat.****

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