I have decided to run for President --- I might vote for you. Do you: - support defending Israel with American lives? - support intervention in the middle east for oil? - want the USA to be secular or xian nation? - think the USA is a charity organization that should feed, house and protect the entire planet? - want the USA to be the World Police? - think that minorities (racial, ethnic, religious, or sexual) should receive special protection and benefits from the government? - think the USA should be a dumping ground for immigrants and political or religious refugees? - want to continue to promote the US war machine? - think the CIC should have the power to force the DOJ to ignore our laws and pardon criminals?
On Oct 24, 6:50 am, Bruce Majors <[email protected]> wrote: > I have decided to run for President! I am fully aware that no one has ever > heard of me but I really want this job. The problem is, how do I go from a > totally unknown to winning over the hearts of the majority of America? > Hmmm, that’s going to take a lot of money. I personally have never really > generated very much money but I have been watching and I think I have > learned a few things. It’s not like I have to reinvent the wheel or > anything. I can just pull the best tactics from all those who have gone > before me. > > First of all, I have to identify where the majority of voters are. I think > the best starting place would be in our recent 99% movement. That’s who I > want, not the 1%. I need the majority of people to vote for me. It’s really > that simple. It seems the one thing that America has united on is that 99% > of them don’t make enough money or think they don’t make enough money > compared to the wealthy.. After all, if a person is making a few billion > dollars, would they really miss just one million? Or even on a smaller > scale, If a person is making a few hundred thousand dollars, would they > really miss ten or twenty thousand dollars? After what I saw and read it > looks like the 99% already thinks that the 1% that is ultra wealthy is the > enemy. I can use that divisive tool to work for my campaign. All I have to > do is point the finger at the 1% and talk about how bad they are and how I > am going to stick it to them, and the 99% will have my back. I’ll be “on > their side”. I will make that 1% look as if all their wealth came from > greed and crooked underhanded deals. One thing I will never do is mention > the hours of work and study that went into their careers or how long it > took, sacrificing their time, energy and money to get there. I will make it > look as if the 1% is the enemy and I will let my loyal 99% think that I am > going after those cruel cash hoarders with everything I can muster. I will > also make a promise to the 99% that I will never raise taxes on them as > long as I am in office. Really, that is a pretty good start. > > The problem is that I will need the money from the 1% to fund my campaign. > I am going to have to be very creative here and use a bit of a slight of > hand trick to make it work. To start with, I might just have to go outside > the United States. I need to find the wealthiest people in the world and > make a deal. I have to be careful in situations like this so as not to look > like I am buying votes or doing the old “you scratch my back and I’ll > scratch yours” kind of thing, but that has worked in the past and it should > still work now. I also have so many special interest groups that I want to > help out and I am sure that if I can get their support I will be able to > pay them back, with interest. I can do that here but I will really need big > money, both here and abroad and I will have to strike up some really good > incentives. I believe the best way to veil this is to find out what the > wealthiest people in the world are interested in. What do they invest in or > what businesses do they want to start. It is with that approach that I > think I can create a sweet scenario of support and payback. > > To explain this to you (but please don’t tell anyone else my plan as it > might not seem as above table as it needs to) think of something like…..an > overseas million…billionaire that wants to invest in something like, I > don’t know, corn farms in Brazil. With his promissory note of a few million > dollars I could, in turn, promise to halt the production of corn in the > United States, or cut off assistance to farmers or put a large tax on the > export of our local corn, or really anything along those lines. This would > mean the people who normally rely on us for corn would have to look > elsewhere. I could then promise a couple of billion dollars of tax money > (there will be no press coverage of this, of course) and send it to Brazil > to fund the research and development to their corn crops in the name of > global hunger or alternative fuel source creation, etc. Really, it could be > anything but the possibilities would be endless. The return on their > investment would be huge. I would have to get in on the action a little > with some hidden stocks or something; I’m not stupid. > > So with the millions to fund me I will have a platform. I will have a > divisive tool by siding with the majority and pointing an angry finger at > the minority. The irony is that American’s will not even stop to think that > I have suddenly become one of the 1% myself. I have also, always heard that > if you win the unions you win the election, so I will make sure that > whatever taxes I do put out there, that anyone that belongs to a union will > be exempt. That should bring a lot of votes and a few more donation dollars > right here at home. The big scoop that I will have to keep a secret is that > I will be doing what I call the “Double Blind Ghost Tax”. I love this and > it is basically a way to tax people without them knowing it. They will > never see it coming; they will never know that it is there. They won’t see > it even when it is staring at them right in the face. > > After building my campaign around taking money from the rich and giving it > to others (I’ll never tell exactly what my special interest groups are but > I think everyone will assume it is somehow going back to the 99%) I will > then impose a string of heavy taxes on the wealthy. Americans will believe > what they are told; they will believe me. Plus, I am a great speaker. The > funny thing is that I will be taxing the business owners, the businesses > themselves, the CEO’s, presidents, executives and all those movers and > shakers that invest in the businesses. Suddenly these wealthy job creators > will be missing millions of dollars from their business accounts and > personal accounts because of the taxes and they will have to pay for being > financially successful. Now that is a painful wound but here is the salt: > those businesses can’t suddenly take a huge loss. What about their stocks > that the average working person has their 401k invested in? How about their > place on the stock market? None of them can afford to crash on Wall Street > and all of them have a budget they have to meet for operating expenses, > investments and retirement plans. The only option they will have is to > either lay off workers (which will make them look even greedier and out of > touch) or to slowly raise prices of goods and services. > > Just imagine companies like Heinz, Del Monte, Golden Flake, Betty Crocker > having to raise prices just to meet budget and not show a dramatic loss > that would scare away investors. Suddenly every bottle of ketchup, every > can of beans, every bag of chips and every little snack cake would be a > dime, a quarter, and seventy five cents higher. It would be gradual and > could increase a little more every few months. No one would even remember > the difference but they would notice that their fifty dollar cart of > groceries now costs seventy five dollars. No one in America would ever stop > and think this through. I would help to blur everything with the obvious > rise in fuel costs probably being the culprit. I could always point the > finger at the unrest in the Middle East. Let’s face it, if you have to > import the corn to make the fuel, the price is going to be higher…right? > Absolutely no one has the time to sit around and try to connect the dots. > Just in case, I would make sure to pressure, through ad sales, the major > television networks to back me up. They would have to write in characters > and scenarios in every drama and situation comedy that made fun of anyone > that might see through what I am doing. The shows would make them look like > radicals or conspiracy theorist, etc. I will cover my tracks, yes indeed. > The majority will love me and they will stay focused on the wealthy getting > hit in the wallet and they will be happy that I am their President. They > will not for one minute realize that they are paying higher prices and thus > more taxes on absolutely every single item they purchase. I will be able to > tax the wealthy and tax the entire working class; the money will be rolling > in. My special interest groups will be making out like bandits and I will > look like a hero. > > I think I can do this whole running for President thing. I will have to > have my foreign investors set my money aside for a while until my eight > year reign ends and then I will be able to leave this country and live > elsewhere like a king...and not have to pay all these taxes I created. I > may be an unknown but I have learned from the best. All it is going to take > is that first big investor who can recognize a good thing when he sees it. > I’m off to Google the world’s wealthiest people and see what I can come up > with. Wish me luck. -- Thanks for being part of "PoliticalForum" at Google Groups. For options & help see http://groups.google.com/group/PoliticalForum * Visit our other community at http://www.PoliticalForum.com/ * It's active and moderated. Register and vote in our polls. * Read the latest breaking news, and more.
