xians, jews, muzzies, drunks, gays and fat people wanting recognition. On Nov 21, 6:32 am, Travis <[email protected]> wrote: > ** > Dr. Eowyn posted: " Company Memo FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources > Director TO: All Employees DATE: October 1, 2012 RE: Gala Christmas Party > I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on > December 23rd, starting at noon in the pri" Respond to this post by > replying above this line > New post on *Fellowship of the Minds* > <http://fellowshipofminds.wordpress.com/author/eowyn2/> Company Memo: > Christmas > Party<http://fellowshipofminds.wordpress.com/2012/11/21/company-memo-christ...> > by > Dr. Eowyn <http://fellowshipofminds.wordpress.com/author/eowyn2/> > > <http://fellowshipofminds.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/mistletoe.jpg> > Company Memo > > FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director > TO: All Employees > DATE: October 1, 2012 > RE: Gala Christmas Party > > I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on > December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill > House.There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small > band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be > surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will > be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that > time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts > easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees! > > Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time! > > Merry Christmas to you and your family, > > Patty > > <http://fellowshipofminds.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/hanukkah.gif> > Company Memo > > FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director > TO: All Employees > DATE: October 2, 2012 > RE: Gala Holiday Party > > In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We > recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with > Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on, we're > calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other > employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating > Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols > will be sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment. > > Happy now? > > Happy Holidays to you and your family, > > Patty > > <http://fellowshipofminds.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/alcoholics-anony...> > Company Memo > > FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director > TO: All Employees > DATE: October 3, 2012 > RE: Holiday Party > > Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous > requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to > accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA > Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this? > > Somebody? > > And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since > the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives > believe $10.00 is a little chintzy. > > REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED. > > <http://fellowshipofminds.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/ramadan1.jpg> > Company Memo > > FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director > To: All Employees > DATE: October 4, 2012 > RE: Generic Holiday Party > > What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the > Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during > daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a > luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' > beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until > the end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home in > little foil doggy baggy. Will that work? > > Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest > from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to > the restrooms. > > Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with > Gay men, each group will have their own table. > > Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table. > > To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that > no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about > confusion in the restrooms. Sorry. > > We will have booster seats for short people. > > Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. > > I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the > food. The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a > bite first. > > There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the > restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. Sorry! > > Did I miss anything?!?!? > > Patty > > <http://fellowshipofminds.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/expletive.jpg> > Company Memo > > FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director > TO: All Fucking Employees > DATE: October 5, 2012 > RE: The F****** Holiday Party > > I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!! We're going to keep this party at > the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the > table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and > you'll get your ****** salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, > tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard > them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW! > > The rest of you ****** weirdos can kiss my ass. I hope you all have a > rotten holiday! > > Drive drunk and die, > > The Bitch from Hell!!! > > <http://fellowshipofminds.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/generic-holiday1...> > Company Memo > > FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director > DATE: October 6, 2012 > RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party > > I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and > I'll continue to forward your cards to her. > > In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and > give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay. > > Happy Holidays! > > Joan > *Dr. Eowyn <http://fellowshipofminds.wordpress.com/author/eowyn2/>* | > November 21, 2012 at 3:12 am | Tags: > AA<http://fellowshipofminds.wordpress.com/?tag=aa>, > Hanukkah <http://fellowshipofminds.wordpress.com/?tag=hanukkah>, > mistletoe<http://fellowshipofminds.wordpress.com/?tag=mistletoe>, > multiculturalism<http://fellowshipofminds.wordpress.com/?tag=multiculturalism>, > political > correctness<http://fellowshipofminds.wordpress.com/?tag=political-correctness>, > Ramadan <http://fellowshipofminds.wordpress.com/?tag=ramadan> | > Categories: Culture > War <http://fellowshipofminds.wordpress.com/?cat=20812>, > Gays<http://fellowshipofminds.wordpress.com/?cat=35219924>, > Humor <http://fellowshipofminds.wordpress.com/?cat=376>, > Islam<http://fellowshipofminds.wordpress.com/?cat=420>, > Israel <http://fellowshipofminds.wordpress.com/?cat=9937>, > Liberals/Democrats/Left<http://fellowshipofminds.wordpress.com/?cat=115894710>, > New Age <http://fellowshipofminds.wordpress.com/?cat=1432>, > Religion<http://fellowshipofminds.wordpress.com/?cat=4983159>, > United States <http://fellowshipofminds.wordpress.com/?cat=5850> | > URL:http://wp.me/pKuKY-iCY > > Comment<http://fellowshipofminds.wordpress.com/2012/11/21/company-memo-christ...> > See all > comments<http://fellowshipofminds.wordpress.com/2012/11/21/company-memo-christ...> > > Unsubscribe or change your email settings at Manage > Subscriptions<https://subscribe.wordpress.com/?key=80d8873ee52adffe4e178d01c25562cf...>. > > *Trouble clicking?* Copy and paste this URL into your > browser:http://fellowshipofminds.wordpress.com/2012/11/21/company-memo-christ... > Thanks for flying with WordPress.com <http://wordpress.com>
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