**
Steve posted: "Christmas Carols and Holiday Songs tend to exclude,
marginalize and insult. Henceforth these songs will be re-written with new
titles to avoid any real, imagined or perceived offense. The word Christmas
is exclusive to Christians and must be removed. S" Respond to this post
by replying above this line
New post on *Fellowship of the Minds*
<http://fellowshipofminds.wordpress.com/author/stungunsandmace/> A P. C.
Holiday Yea Yeah (Bite
ME)<http://fellowshipofminds.wordpress.com/2012/12/01/a-p-c-holiday-yea-yeah-bite-me/>
by
Steve <http://fellowshipofminds.wordpress.com/author/stungunsandmace/>
Christmas Carols and Holiday Songs tend to exclude, marginalize and insult.
Henceforth these songs will be re-written with new titles to avoid any
real, imagined or perceived offense.
The word Christmas is exclusive to Christians and must be removed. Since it
cannot be replaced with the word "holiday" (Holy Day) we will replace it
with the innocuous phrase, "day off."
"We Wish You a Merry Christmas"
"We Wish You a Merry Non-Religious-Specific Day-Off in Winter."
Noel is another word for Christmas.
"The First Noel"
"The First Non-Religious-Specific Day-Off in Winter"
Don't you dare exclude the down and out victims of capitalism at this time
of the year.
"I'll be Home for Christmas"
"I'll be Home or in a Homeless Shelter for the Non-Religious-Specific Day-
Off in Winter"
And let's not let any covert references to race cloud your celebration (if
you do chose to celebrate).
"I'm Dreaming of a White
Christmas<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_Christmas_%28song%29>
"
"I'm Dreaming of a Race Immaterial Non-Religious- Specific Day-Off in
Winter"
The physically impaired must not be excluded.
"I Heard the Bells on Christmas
Day<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Heard_the_Bells_on_Christmas_Day>
"
"I Sensed the Bells on the Non-Religious-Specific Day-Off in Winter"
If physical disabilities are referred to in other songs, than they must
also be performed in sign language, and made available in Braille.
"Do You Hear What I Hear"
"Do You Sense What I Sense"
Angels are spiritual beings, not everybody believes in the spirit life.
"Angels We Have Heard on High"
"Guiding Influences We Have Sensed on High"
Since the mute cannot sing, we shall substitute the term communicate.
"Hark! The Herald Angels
Sing<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hark%21_The_Herald_Angels_Sing>
"
"Sense! The Herald Guiding Influences Communicate"
The word "holy" has religious connotations. We do not want to offend the
secular.
"Silent Night, Holy Night <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silent_Night>"
"Silent Night, Devout Night"
And
"Oh Holy Night <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/O_Holy_Night>"
"Oh Devout Night"
The secular might also lack faith.
"Oh Come All Ye Faithful <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adeste_Fideles>"
"Oh Come all Ye of Extreme Loyalty to Non-Material Evidence"
A person shall not feel excluded based on where they live...
"Go Tell it on the Mountain"
"Go Tell it on the Preferred Geographic Location"
...or their climate.
"Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow"
"Let it Perform a Favorite Weather Pattern, Let it Perform a Favorite
Weather Pattern, Let it Perform a Favorite Weather Pattern"
Christians are sneaky. They often subtly hijack common terms in an attempt
to own the language. The word "manger" has been hijacked to refer
exclusively to the nativity of Jesus
Christ<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nativity_of_Jesus>and it must be
replaced.
"Away in a Manger"
"Away in a Trough that Holds Livestock Feed"
The traditional birthplace of Jesus Christ is in Bethlehem,
Israel<http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=31.7030555556,35.1955555556&spn=0.1,0.1&q=31.7030555556,35.1955555556%20(Bethlehem)&t=h>.
Since Bethlehem is inside of the Zionist occupied and disputed West Bank we
have to apply a tentative name to this song.
"O Little Town of Bethlehem"
"O Quaint Town of Palestinian Joint Rule"
That was a good segue into the use of physical descriptions. The word
"little" should never be used. It is demeaning. Especially when used to
describe a person. References to a person's gender shall also be forbidden
especially when they help to reinforce stereotypes.
"Little Drummer Boy"
"Vertically Challenged Drummer Child of Undetermined Gender"
Other gender specific songs need to be re-done.
"Frosty the Snowman"
"Frosty the Hermaphrodite Snow Creature"
And
"Oh Come Let us Adore Him"
"Oh Come Let us Adore Him or Her"
This also applies to stereotyped roles in parenthood and heterosexualism.
"I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause"
"I Saw My Gynocentric Guardian Kissing a Non-Gender Specific Person who is
Known to Wear a Red Suit"
We cannot stereotype overweight people as happy, nor make references to a
person's age. Even if they are saintly (another subtle religious term)
"Jolly Old Saint Nicholas<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jolly_Old_Saint_Nicholas>
"
"Happy, Plus-sized, Chronologically-Gifted, Highly Virtuous
Nicholas"
We kept the term Nicholas to preserve some tradition. We are not implying
that Nicholas has to be a male name and males are the only ones who are
capable of amassing enough fortune and possessing the generosity to be able
to give presents to masses of people. Nor are we implying that females lack
the physical strength and endurance to accomplish such a task. In order to
balance this mistaken perception, we shall apply modern day affirmative
action in order to level down the male ego and help balance the playing
field.
"We Three Kings of Orient are"
"We Three Misogynist Autocrats of Eastern Asia are"
This especially applies to westerners...
"Good King Wenceslas"
"Evil White Male European Misogynist Autocrat Wenceslas"
...doubly, especially if they are Christian
"Good Christian Men Rejoice <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_dulci_jubilo>"
"Evil Narrow-Minded Homophobic Racist Misogynist Men Get Drunk and Abusive"
We don't take tradition lightly. We actually found one traditional song
that we ill keep in its entirety. We feel this song accurately portrays the
typical man.
"Mr. Grinch"
Sample lyrics: "Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing with the
most disgraceful assortment of rubbish imaginable mangled up in tangled up
knots!"
Songs of Thanksgiving or, the Autumn Day Off, will also need to be
deconstructed.
"Over the River and Through the Woods"
"Over the River and Through the Woods"
Subtitled: "Only after an environmental impact study on the effects of a
horse-drawn sleigh upon the woods is conducted. And assuming the gentle
vegetarian beast of a horse is not being forced to pull an overloaded
sleigh and is doing so on a volunteer basis."
We realize that this one may lose some of the warmth of its original
meaning. This could be avoided if the grandmother (or grandparent) would
just move back to the city and help stop urban sprawl.
And last but not least, we need to help swing the cultural pendulum away
from the religious holiday and back toward the secular day off granted by
the state. We can do this through songs that highlight the true Marxist
origins of political correctness
"Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer"
"Rudolph the Red Knows that the State Seizure and Re-distribution of
Private Wealth is Fairer than Private Charity and Ensures the Survival and
Growing Power of the State"
Something Ain't Right
http://www.somethingaintright.com
Article Source:
http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jason_Hastings<http://?expert=Jason_Hastings>
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/116838
And last but not least, but you know what burns my butt? I flame a bout
----- this high. Have I made my self clear
Steve
*Steve <http://fellowshipofminds.wordpress.com/author/stungunsandmace/>*|
December 1, 2012 at 4:29 am | Categories:
Atheists <http://fellowshipofminds.wordpress.com/?cat=39609117>,
Children<http://fellowshipofminds.wordpress.com/?cat=34928689>,
Christians/Christianity<http://fellowshipofminds.wordpress.com/?cat=111409284>,
Culture War <http://fellowshipofminds.wordpress.com/?cat=20812>, Hollywood
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