[image: The Borowitz
Report]<http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/>
****

** **

December 31, 2012****
Congress Collapses from Exhaustion After Doing Job****

[image: boro-cliff-collapse.jpg]****

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz
Report<http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/>)—The
House of Representatives adjourned this evening after the legislative body
collapsed from exhaustion brought on by hours of doing its job. ****

Hundreds of congressmen complained of headaches, dizzy spells, and extreme
fatigue after putting in what sources called “a six, maybe seven-hour day.”
****

With the nation headed over the fiscal cliff, there was no indication when
Congress might reconvene, since many of its members had to be hospitalized
after what was described as their near-total physical meltdown. ****

According to Dr. Davis Logsdon of the University of Minnesota Medical
School, “Being forced to listen, compromise, and act like adults for
minutes at a time was more punishing than these people could bear.” ****

Dr. Logsdon said that the gruelling ordeal of doing their jobs would likely
keep members of Congress in the hospital for weeks. ****

“I don’t see these people getting back to work until February at the
earliest,” he said. “And that’s great news for this country. Happy New
Year, America.” ****

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