[image: CAP News] ABC To Debut "Shit Yourself" This Summer [image: ABC To Debut 'Shit Yourself' This Summer]
HOLLYWOOD (CAP) - Looking to seize upon the humiliation and embarassment that drives audiences to the reality game-show genre, ABC will follow its wildly successful summer slop fest *Wipeout* with the all new *Shit Yourself * next month. The show will include contestants engaged in various tasks and miseries where the winner receives modest cash prizes and the losers shit themselves on national television. "It's going to be hilarious," said network executive Hack Twitson. "The kids, especially, are just going to love it. Our research shows that feces is going to equal big, big ratings." SHARE [image: Facebook]<http://www.facebook.com/sharer.php?u=http://www.cap-news.com/story.php?id=200806001&t=ABC%20To%20Debut%20'Shit%20Yourself'%20This%20Summer> [image: Reddit]<http://www.reddit.com/submit?url=http://www.cap-news.com/story.php?id=200806001> [image: Google Plus] [image: Twitter]<http://twitter.com/home?status=ABC%20To%20Debut> [image: StumbleUpon]<http://www.stumbleupon.com/submit?url=http://www.cap-news.com/story.php?id=200806001> showbiz NEWS Lindsay Lohan To Have Rehab Wing Named For Her<http://www.cap-news.com/report.php?id=201305002> 'Splash' Mishaps Jeopardize 'Celeb Chainsaw Juggling'<http://www.cap-news.com/report.php?id=201304010> Millions Now Embarrassed They Loved 'Les Miserables'<http://www.cap-news.com/story.php?id=201303012> Romney Filmer Also Made Kim Kardashian Sex Tape<http://www.cap-news.com/report.php?id=201303007> Twentieth Annual 'Screechfest' Draws Dozens<http://www.cap-news.com/story.php?id=201301018> In the premier episode, a *Girls Gone Wild* all-star reject cast of sorority pledges downs Jello shots until the point of defecation. Other episodes include germaphobes playing Twister on the floor of a public bathroom and newlyweds feeding each other flying bugs that range from common mosquitos to South American species the size of a small cat. [image: ABC To Debut 'Shit Yourself' This Summer] Host Alan Thicke Later this summer, *Shit Yourself* will include a pair of *Law & Order*-style "ripped from the headlines" editions as truck drivers are strapped to the guard rail at an interstate rest stop as gas prices are raised to $6 a gallon, and Kentucky residents who still display the Confederate flag in their living rooms have their eyes held open with tooth picks as they watch video after video of President Obama speeches. Producers are also already planning *Celebrity Shit Yourself* featuring the hijinks of former wrestling superstar Iron Sheik, former child actor Tiffany "Small Wonder" Brissette, disgraced one-time hottie Tara Reid and Fab Morvan from Milli Vanilli. "The Sheik puts the robot girl from *Small Wonder* in the camel clutch at five minutes to the hour and there's no way she doesn't drop the deuce," Twitson salivated. "It's water-cooler heaven." ABC is expected to launch the *Shit Happens All Over America* advertising campaign during other crappy summer programming over the next couple of weeks. *Shit Yourself* will be hosted by actor and *Growing Pains* dad extraordinaire Alan Thicke. IN OTHER NEWS The NSA says U.S. currency is more difficult to counterfeit than ever before thanks to Treasury Secretary Jack Lew's inimitable new signature. "The risk of counterfeiting by kindergarteners dropped dramatically when he stopped scribbling doodled circles for his name," said one official. "America is safe in the arms of illiteracy." In the wake of stellar ratings for this year's NHL playoffs, Commissioner Gary Bettman has announced plans to kick off next season with another lockout. "We clearly created some sort of artificial demand last time," said Bettman. "So let's do it again. But next year, I'm thinking Finals in July!" TODAY'S TOP STORIES Keys To "Doomsday Vault" May Be Locked Inside<http://www.cap-news.com/story.php?id=200806009> Study: Baboons Love NPR, Hate Dane Cook Movies<http://www.cap-news.com/story.php?id=200906005> U.S. Seeks Crackdown On Dangling Participles<http://www.cap-news.com/story.php?id=200906011> Internet Meme 'Cray Cray' To Add Third Cray<http://www.cap-news.com/story.php?id=201306002> Rod Stewart Apologizes For 35 Years Of Crap Music<http://www.cap-news.com/story.php?id=200806015> [image: Fake Advertisement] CAP NEWS AUDIO Boogerless Home Equity <http://www.cap-news.com/audio.php?id=82> [image: Boogerless Home Equity] <http://www.cap-news.com/audio.php?id=82> If you're looking to refinance your home or draw a line of credit, be sure to consider a booger-free banking institution. FROM THE VAULT [image: 7 Arrests In Susan Boyle, Diana Krall Entourage Brawl] <http://www.cap-news.com/story.php?id=201206008> June 20, 2012 TO UNSUBSCRIBE, HIT REPLY AND ASK TO BE REMOVED FROM FUTURE MAILINGS. -- -- Thanks for being part of "PoliticalForum" at Google Groups. For options & help see http://groups.google.com/group/PoliticalForum * Visit our other community at http://www.PoliticalForum.com/ * It's active and moderated. Register and vote in our polls. * Read the latest breaking news, and more. --- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "PoliticalForum" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to [email protected]. For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/groups/opt_out.
