Idiot Sightings****

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Hi .  Some old, some new, but all sad...
Our society is doomed..............


*IDIOT SIGHTING*
*I handed the teller at my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00
I said "May I have large bills, please"
She looked at me and said "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size."
When I got up off the floor I explained it to her....*

*IDIOT SIGHTING*
*When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our
car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver
side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the
door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the
technician, 'it's open!' His reply: 'I know. I already got that side..'*
*This was at the Ford dealership in Canton,MS
*
*IDIOT SIGHTING We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not
have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.*
*I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at
that time, a 1/2 horsepower.*
*He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded
that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.He said, 'NO, it's not..' Four is larger than
two.'*
*We haven't used Sears repair since.*

*IDIOT SIGHTING My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out
window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill.Our total was $4.25, so I also handed
her a quarter.*
*She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way
you can just give me a dollar bill back.She sighed and went to get the
manager, who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back
the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.'*
*The clerk then proceeded to give me back **$1 and 75 cents in change. **Do
not confuse the clerks at Mc D's.*

*IDIOT SIGHTING*
*I live in a semi rural area.*
*We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative
office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The
reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!*
*I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
-- From Kingman , KS
*
*IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and
ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal
lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.*
*-- From Kansas City
*
*IDIOT SIGHTING I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an
airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without
your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how
would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask..'
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.
*
*IDIOT SIGHTING The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross
the street.*
*I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She
asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind
people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are
blind people doing driving?!'
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS
*
*IDIOT SIGHTING At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was
leaving the company due to 'downsizing,'our manager commented cheerfully,
'This is fun. We should do this more often.'Not another word was spoken. We
all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

IDIOT SIGHTING*
*I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and
for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn
on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff’s office, no less.*

*IDIOT SIGHTING*
*How would you pronounce this child's name?
"Le-a"*
*
Leah?? NO
Lee - A?? NOPE
Lay - a?? NO
Lei?? Guess Again.*
*This child attends a school in Kansas City , Mo. Her mother is irate
because everyone is getting her name wrong. It's pronounced "Ledasha". When
the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "the
dash don't be silent." SO, if you see something come across your desk like
this please remember to pronounce the dash. If dey axe you why, tell dem de
dash don't be silent.*****

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