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Assad Mounts Preemptive
Attack!<http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/typepad/uIXt/~3/rqiRgU_vttk/assad-mounts-preemptive-attack.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email>

Posted: 30 Aug 2013 02:03 PM PDT

DAMASCUS (BHN) - In a shocking and unexpected move, Hafaz al-Assad, son of
Syrian president Bashar al-Assad, mounted a preemptive attack against
President Obama Thursday, igniting an online battle that threatens to
trigger an international war.

"Hey Barry, you were supposed to attack us within 48 hours, what are you
waiting for, you little pussy?" asked Assad in the surprise Facebook post
at 4:56 AM. The obviously unprepared Obama retaliated with "I know you are
but what am I?" which only seemed to embolden the young Assad. The skirmish
quickly escalated from there:

Assad: That all you got, you scrawny pothead? Maybe you should let that
big-assed morphodite Mooch fight your battle - at least she's got balls!

*Obama: Tell me where you are so I can send a cruise missile to blow your
ass up, you little carpet-kisser*

Assad: Sure - I'm upstairs with Mooch. I'm using her giant thighs to crack
coconuts hahaha :P

*Obama:  I will fly a Tomahawk right up your butt, YOU LITTLE RETARD*

Assad: Did your teleprompter tell you to say that? BTW, Mooch asks if you
know where her flea collar is?

*Obama: I SWEAR I WILL KILL YOUR WHOLE FAMILY *

Assad: LOL :)



[image: Assad and
Obama]<http://peacemoonbeam.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451af9f69e2019aff185c0c970d-pi>


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