[image: CAP News] Terrorism Celebrates 250 Years [image: Terrorism Celebrates 250 Years] An Afghani couple enjoys a game of Twister in celebration of terrorism's 250th anniversary.
KANDAHAR, Afghanistan (CAP) - No one is quite sure of the exact date, but few will dispute the fact that 250 years ago this month, modern terrorism got its start. And according to terrorism experts, it's been quite a ride. "Terrorism in some form or another has been around since the dawn of time," said independent terrorism consultant Omar McNalley. "But to really pick a start date, one has to go back to 1763 and give the nod to Zulfikar Khan." According to historical documents, Zulfikar Khan was the elder brother of Ahmad Shah Abdali, the man credited with the founding of modern Afghanistan. It was during the Sikh holocaust when Ahmad Shah assaulted Lahore and Amritsar that Khan loaded an elephant full of explosives, rode it into a busy marketplace, and set off the bombs. SHARE [image: Facebook]<http://www.facebook.com/sharer.php?u=http://www.cap-news.com/story.php?id=200610009&t=Terrorism%20Celebrates%20250%20Years> [image: Reddit]<http://www.reddit.com/submit?url=http://www.cap-news.com/story.php?id=200610009> [image: Google Plus] [image: Twitter]<http://twitter.com/home?status=Terrorism%20Celebrates%20250%20Years%20-%20http://www.cap-news.com/story.php?id=200610009> [image: StumbleUpon]<http://www.stumbleupon.com/submit?url=http://www.cap-news.com/story.php?id=200610009> world NEWS Vatican Workers Threaten To Strike, Turn Protestant<http://www.cap-news.com/report.php?id=201305001> Obama PUNK'D Initiative To Both Kick Ass, Take Names<http://www.cap-news.com/report.php?id=201304003> Survey Says Catholics Upset Over Pope's Catholic Views<http://www.cap-news.com/report.php?id=201303006> Study Suggests Stonehenge Was Prehistoric McDonald's<http://www.cap-news.com/brief.php?id=201303002> New Iran Fighter Jet Looks Just Like Missing U.S. Drone<http://www.cap-news.com/report.php?id=201302001> Terrorists are expected to mark the passing of the historical month in much the same fashion as they approach other significant dates - a couple suicide bombings, ongoing hatred of the West, and maybe a kidnapped journalist beheading. In other words, business as usual. "See, that's the problem with terrorist youths today," said 63-year-old Afghani terrorist Hassan al-Hassan. "They don't know where they came from; they don't understand the history. A lot of great people died to make terrorism today possible." al-Hassan, a three-time suicide bombing survivor, pointed to a number of things that separate today's young terrorists from "those of the old school" - among them a lack of creativity, the demand for more and more virgins, and no effort to actually stay alive. "It's laziness, that's all it is," said al-Hassan as he stroked the nub where his left arm used to be. "When I was a kid, we got five, maybe six virgins. Who needs 72? The excess is unnecessary. "We'll be lucky if terrorism makes it another 50 years, let alone 250," said al-Hassan. Whether it's 50 years or 250 years, three things are certain: terrorism will look nothing like it does now, today's practitioners won't be around to show us, and CAP News will be there to cover it all. IN OTHER NEWS Eclectic singer Lady Gaga has admitted to CAP News that while the applause is indeed a fantastic motivator, she also lives for the paycheck. "Clapping alone does not millions of dollars make," Gaga said. "Little monsters emptying daddy's wallet to come see me prance around in outrageously expensive outfits does." TODAY'S TOP STORIES TD Bank Replaces Frumpy Tellers With Sexy Coeds<http://www.cap-news.com/story.php?id=201310005> US, Canada Agree To Swap Texas, Quebec<http://www.cap-news.com/story.php?id=200710013> Cost Of A High-End Hooker Climbs Up Over $1000<http://www.cap-news.com/story.php?id=200910004> Rosie Sues Over Women's Restroom Symbol<http://www.cap-news.com/story.php?id=200910013> Redskins Change Name To Washington Honkeys<http://www.cap-news.com/story.php?id=201310004> [image: Fake Advertisement] CAP NEWS AUDIO Spiceline <http://www.cap-news.com/audio.php?id=56> [image: Spiceline] <http://www.cap-news.com/audio.php?id=56> Finally, a program that lets you name your price for pornography. Getting some should always be this easy. FROM THE VAULT [image: CBS News Pilots] <http://www.cap-news.com/story.php?id=200810013> October 23, 2008 TO UNSUBSCRIBE, HIT REPLY AND ASK TO BE REMOVED FROM FUTURE MAILINGS. -- -- Thanks for being part of "PoliticalForum" at Google Groups. For options & help see http://groups.google.com/group/PoliticalForum * Visit our other community at http://www.PoliticalForum.com/ * It's active and moderated. Register and vote in our polls. * Read the latest breaking news, and more. --- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "PoliticalForum" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to [email protected]. For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/groups/opt_out.
