*Receptionist:*  Hello, Welcome to ObamaFlowers, My name is Trina. How can
I help you?

*Customer*:  Hello.  I received an email from Professional Flowers stating
that my flower order has been canceled and I should go to your exchange to
reorder it. I tried your website, but it seems like it is not working. So I
am calling the 800 number.

*Receptionist*:  Yes!  I am sorry about the website. It should be fixed by
the end of November. But I can help you.

*Customer*:  Thanks, I ordered a "Spring Bouquet" for our anniversary, and
wanted it  delivered to my wife.

*Receptionist*:  Interrupting, Sir, "Spring Bouquets" do not meet our
minimum standards, I will  be happy to provide you with Red Roses.

*Customer*:  But I have always ordered "Spring Bouquets", done it  for
years, my wife likes them.

*Receptionist:*  Roses are better, sir, I am sure your wife will love them.

*Customer*: Well, how much are  they?

*Receptionist:* It depends sir, do you want our Bronze, Silver, Gold or
Platinum package.

*Customer:* What's the difference?

*Receptionist:* 6, 12,18 or 24 Red Roses.

*Customer:* The Silver package may be okay, how much is it?

*Receptionist:* It depends sir, what is your monthly income?

*Customer:* What does that have to do with anything?

*Receptionist:* I need that to determine your government flower subsidy,
then I can determine how much your out-of-pocket cost will be. But if your
income is below our minimums for a subsidy, then I can refer you to our
FlowerAid department.

*Customer:* FlowerAid?

*Receptionist:* Yes, Flowers are a right.  Everyone has a right to flowers.
So, if you can't afford them, then the government will supply them free of
charge.

*Customer:* Who said they were a right?

*Receptionist:* Congress passed it, the President signed it and the Supreme
Court found it constitutional.

*Customer:* Whoa!  I don't remember seeing anything in the Constitution
regarding *flowers* as a *right*.

*Receptionist:*  It is not really a “Right in  the Constitution,” but
ObamaFlowers is Constitutional because the Supreme Court  Ruled it a "Tax".
Taxes are Constitutional. But we feel it is a right.

*Customer:* I don't believe this.

*Receptionist:* It's the law of the land sir. Now, we anticipated most
people would go for the Silver Package, so what is you monthly income sir?

*Customer:* Forget it, I think I will forgo the flowers this year.

*Receptionist:* In that case sir, I will still need your monthly income.

*Customer:* Why?

*Receptionist:* To determine what your 'non-participation' cost would be.

*Customer:* WHAT?  You can't charge me for NOT buying flowers!

*Receptionist:* It's the law of the land, sir, approved by the Supreme
Court. It's $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income.

*Customer interrupting:* This is ridiculous, I'll pay the $9.50.

*Receptionist:* Sir, it is $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income, whichever is
greater.

*Customer:* ARE YOU KIDDING ME? What a rip-off!

*Receptionist:* Actually sir, it is a good deal. Next year it will be 2%.

*Customer:* Look, I'm going to call my Congressman to find out what's going
on here. This is ridiculous. I'm not going  to pay it.

*Receptionist:* Sorry to hear that sir.  That's why I had the NSA track
this call and obtain the make and model of the cell phone you are using.

*Customer:* Why does the NSA need to know what kind of CELL PHONE I AM
USING?

*Receptionist:* So they get your GPS coordinates sir.

Door Bell rings followed immediately by a loud knock on the door

*Receptionist:* That would be the IRS sir.  Thanks for calling
ObamaFlowers.  Have a nice day and God Bless America


(Author unknown)

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