OWWWCCHHH!
That really hurts, guys! You're just making this up - there's no way...how
could the major labels..Naaahhh. You guys are such a bunch of kidders.
Junior Walker ;<)>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Jeff Wall [SMTP:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
> Sent: Tuesday, 2 February 1999 13:19
> To: passenger side
> Subject: Re: How to Produce a Rock Record (fwd) <g>
>
> from Ken Irwin of Rounder Records
>
>
>
>
>
> >X-X-Sender: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> >Date: Mon, 1 Feb 1999 12:56:11 -0800
> >Reply-To: "Bluegrass music discussion." <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> >Sender: "Bluegrass music discussion." <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> >From: Ken Irwin <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> >Subject: Re: How to Produce a Rock Record (fwd) <g>
> >To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> >
> >Subject: HOW TO PRODUCE A ROCK RECORD!
> >
> >First, spend about a month on "preproduction", making sure that
> everything
> >is completely planned out so that no spontaneity is necessary or possible
> >in the studio. If there are no "hits" there, make the band collaborate
> >with outside songwriters. Line up extra studio musicians who are better
> >players than the band themselves, just in case.
> >
> >Next, book the most expensive studio you can find so that everyone but
> the
> >band gets paid lots of money. The more expensive, the more the record
> >label will take the project seriously, which is important. Book lots and
> >lots of time. You'll need at least 48 tracks to accomodate all the room
> >mics you'll set up for the drums, all of which will be buried by other
> >instruments later anyway, and for the added keyboard tracks, even if the
> >band has never had a keyboard player. And for all the backing vocal
> >tracks, even if the band only has one singer.
> >
> >Then, record all the instruments one at a time, but make the drummer play
> >to a click track for every song so the music has no chance to breathe
> >whatsoever. That way you can use lots of MIDI gear. Do multiple takes of
> >each song. Use up at least 30 reels of 2-inch tape. Take the best parts
> >of each take and splice them all together. You might even use a hard-disk
> >recording system like Pro Tools, then transfer it all back to analog
> >two-inch. Spend at least two weeks just compiling drum tracks like this.
> >You'll need to rent at least a half a dozen snare drums, and you'll have
> >to change drum heads every couple hours. If you really do it right, the
> >entire band will never have to actually play a song together.
> >
> >Now, start overdubbing each instrument, one at a time. Make sure
> >everything is perfect. If necessary, do things over and over until
> >absolute perfection is achieved. Do a hundred takes if you must. If this
> >doesn't work, get "guest musicians" in to "help out". Don't forget to
> >hire someone who's good with samples and loops so the kids will think its
> >hip! Better get some turntable scratching on there too. Be sure to spend
> >days and days just experimenting with sounds, different amplifiers,
> >guitars, mics, speakers, basically trying every possible option you can
> >think of to use up all that studio time you've booked. No matter how
> much
> >time you book, you can use it up this way easily. Everyone involved will
> >think they're working very hard.
> >
> >Make sure you rent lots of expensive mics and expensive compressors and
> >expensive preamps so you can convince yourself and everyone else how good
> >it's sounding. Charge it to the band's recording budget of course. Make
> >sure you have at least two or three compressors IN SERIES on everything
> >you're recording. Any equipment with tubes in it is a sure bet, the older
> >the better. The best is early-1970s-era Neve equipment, old Ampex analog
> >recorders, and WW2-vintage tube microphones, since everyone knows that
> the
> >technology of recording has continuously declined for the past 30+ years.
> >Don't forget to get some old "ribbon" mics too. Make sure that by the
> time
> >it's finished everyone is absolutely, totally sick of all the songs and
> >never wants to hear any of them again. Oops! Now it's time to mix it!
> >
> >Better get someone with "fresh ears" (who's never heard any of it before)
> >to mix it in a $2000/day SSL room with full automation. Make sure he's
> >pretty famous, and of course you have to fly to LA, NYC or Nashville to
> do
> >this, because there simply are no decent studios anywhere else. Make sure
> >he compresses the hell out of everything as he mixes it. Compress each
> >drum individually and then compress an overall stereo submix of 'em. Make
> >sure to compress all the electric guitars even though a distorting guitar
> >amp is the most extreme "compressor" in existence. Compress everything
> >else, and then compress the overall mix. Add tons and tons of reverb to
> >the drums on top of all those room mics, and add stereo chorus on
> >everything else. Spare no expense. Spend at least two weeks on it. Then
> >take it home and decide to pay for someone else to remix the whole thing.
> >
> >Then get some New York coke-head mastering engineer to master it, and
> make
> >sure he compresses the hell out of everything again and takes away all
> the
> >low end and makes it super bright and crispy and harsh so it'll sound
> >really LOUD on the radio. (Too bad about all those people with nice home
> >stereos.)
> >
> >Oh-oh!
> >Your A+R guy just got fired!
> >Looks like the record will never be released!
> >
> >
>
> Jeff Wall
> http://www.twangzine.com The Webs least sucky music magazine
> 3421 Daisy Crescent - Va Beach, Va - 23456
