Years ago there was this guy that would bring a big ass jam box AND video
camera to our gigs. I would get a copy sooner or later, and delivering me the
tapes was this goobers way of spending time with me. Eventually he told
everyone I must be gay because I did not want to go out with him, and
eventually I had to threaten to beat the crap out of him if he made anymore
copies to pass amongst his pals.
The straw that broke the cowgirls back was when he taped a show back in the
days when I was the drummer. So I was singing Truck Drivers Womans and having
a big ass time when BOOM WACK BLOOD I smacked myself with a stick and on the
mic all at the same time like an idiot when I was showing off on a drum roll
(and I wasn't even drinkin!) The cap on my front tooth fell off, I split my
lip open, the cap was bouncing around on my snare drum. Well, I stopped for a
sec, freaked out over the blood (meanwhile the guitar player turns and yells
at me what the hell was up, keep playing) I pick up my tooth and set it on the
floor tom, then come back in as close to time I could, and act like I meant to
do that to spotlight the guitar solo. Then came time for me to sing the rest
of the song, with blood and not being able to pronouce words because I was
missing my front tooth. I can't tell you how highly attractive it was. We
finished the tune, and I announce I won't be singing anymore, was there a
dentist in the house. The guitar player goes on into a song, then damn if a
dentist did not make his way to the stage (I am still drumming), stroll behind
amps to get to me to give me some gum to chew and stick it back on temporarily
— a drunken dentist no less!!! He stepped on the lead guitar players amp chord
and unplugged it, and knocked his drink all over the bass player's amp.
It was a wonderful monemt in the spotlight of bar-stardom.
The entire episode was bootlegged, tape and video, and the jerk that I did not
want to go out with passed it around to several people for shits and
giggles....
I can look back on this now and laugh, but damn it hurt and everytime someone
mentions they have a copy I sink inside.
By the way, a fellow from the Headhunters told me he knocks into his mic all
the time and also has lost caps..... Oh, and I have a friend that a bee stung
him in the eye during an outdoor festival while he was singing. Wouldn't that
be great to have a bootleg of..... I also have fond memories like the time I
was attacked by giant skeeters and swalled a june bug while singing a Lucinda
Williams song, long long before 2 Cool To Be Forgotten. I hope someone caught
THAT magic moment.
Nancy Apple
aka the Toothless Cowgirl
