Only
For Allah
By:
Jenn Zaghloul
On the morning of Thursday,
November 6, 1997 my identity became clear not only to me, but to
every person I would encounter from that day forward. I decided to
wear the hijab and begin to develop myself as a more conscientious
Muslim woman. It was on that very day that I revealed to theworld
that I am a Muslim and that I was no longer afraid to be who I was.
For those of you who are
unfamiliar with the term, hijab, it literally means 'barrier' or
'something that covers or conceals completely'. In today's
non-Islamic societies, the true meaning of the hijab is often
replaced with such notions as scarves, kerchiefs, or 'head-pieces' -
as one of my co-workers eloquently put it. Many people are simply
uneducated about the why Muslims must dress modestly and because of
this profound lack of knowledge and understanding many stereotypes
and misconceptions arise.
I am not going to go into the
intricate details about the purpose of the hijab or submerse myself
in the ongoing debate as to whether or not the hijab is an obligatory
practice for Muslim men and women. There are many fabulous books
available that go through the ins-and-outs of appropriate Muslim
dress. Better yet, I implore all of you to pick up a Qur'an, and read
over the verses concerning modesty and dress.
In surah 24: Al Nur (or The
Light), verses 30-31 it says:
"Say to the believing men
that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will
make for greater purity of them: And Allah is well acquainted with
all that they do. And say to the believing women that they should
lower their gaze and guard their modesty: they should not display
their ornaments except what must ordinarily appear thereof; that they
should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their
beauty..."
Today, I am simply here to share
with you my personal experiences in hope that you may find some
meaning and sense of inspiration in what I have to say.
Raised in a Muslim family, I was
brought up with the basic, fundamental principles and values that
Islam instills. I was taught to pray, to fast, to be kind-hearted,
generous and to share the deen of Allah graciously with those around
me. The thought of one day 'covering my head' occasionally popped
into my mind, but the thought that almost always followed was –
"Not until I'm ready!" I never really understood what hijab
meant. I often thought that it was man's clever way of keeping woman
under his control.
I soon came to realize that I
very wrong. In fact, the hijab was the perfect outlet for women to
seek liberation, respect and ultimate freedom from sexual harassment
and the liking. For years and years I would wake up extra early to
style my hair according to what was 'in' at the time. I would spend
over an hour caking make-up onto my face, trying to look beautiful –
but never quite sure for who? Each morning I would eventually make my
way out
into the world - not really prepared to be judged, solely
on my physical appearance, by every person I was to encounter along
my path.
Now that I look back at who I
was then, it makes me grateful to Allah (SWT) to see how far he has
brought me. For a time, I was confused and somewhat lost, as are many
young women in non-Islamic nations - trying desperately to fit in to
a society that dictates that beauty is naked, emaciated teenagers on
a billboards selling perfume and underwear. I recently read that some
of those models and actors that I once adored, practically have to
kill
themselves to look the way they do. From face-lifts to
lipo-suction. Some even go as far as having their ribs removed so
they can have tiny waists!
The harder I tried to fit in,
the more frustrated I became. It finally dawned on me that the images
being flashed in front of me 24 hours a day could not possibly be
true representations women's liberation. I was convinced that there
had to be a simpler answer somewhere.
It was at this point that I
decided it was time to put some more thought into this whole 'hijab'
issue. And I did. For 3.5 years I contemplated the thought of wearing
hijab, but the fear inside of me was overwhelming. I was afraid of
what my friends would say. I was afraid of what my professors and
colleagues might think. I was terrified that I would be harassed at
work, or even worse - fired! All of these thoughts raced through my
mind, day in and day out. Each time I seriously though about doing it
I would say, "But, I'm not ready yet!" A very convenient
excuse I must say!
I finally said to myself,
"Jennifer, look at the big picture!" Now, when I say big
picture, I don't mean next week, or in a few months or even 25 years
down the road. I mean the akhira - the hear-after. I asked myself a
very straightforward question. Who am I going to fear? These
strangers who I know not or Allah? I finally convinced myself that it
was time for me to take this step closer to Allah, as difficult as it
may have seemed at the time.
As I was having my very last
doubt the verse in Surah Al Baqarah (verse 286, I believe), continued
to penetrate my heart: "La yukalif Allah nafsin ila was'aha".
"On no soul doth Allah place a burden greater than it can bear".
These are the very words that gave me the courage to finally make
the right choice. It was at that very moment that I said, "Allah,
I will wear this hijab because I believe in my heart that you have
asked me to do so. Please guide me and give me the strength to do
this."
Just over a year has gone by now
and I can honesty tell you that I have never felt more free or more
at peace with myself and the world around me.
In all fairness I
will be honest and tell you that it wasn't an easy thing to do. Quite
frankly, it was probably the most difficult challenge I've had to
face in my life. Isn't it ironic how that works? The things that will
benefit us most and that make the most sense are often those we fail
to realize or have difficulty accepting.
I've had to deal with a variety
of off-the-wall comments. But what it all boils down to is me making
a personal decision to increase my faith and become what I believe to
be a better Muslim. To me the hijab not only represents modesty,
purity, righteousness and protection but truly is the ultimate state
of respect and liberation. Alhamdou lilah, I am free!
I am a Muslim woman
Feel
free to ask me why
When I walk
I walk with dignity
When I
speak
I do not lie
I am a Muslim woman
Not all
of me you'll see
But what you should appreciate
Is that the
choice I make is free
I'm not plagued with depression
I'm neither cheated nor abused
I don't envy other women
And
I'm certainly not confused
Note, I speak perfect English
Et un petit peu de Francais aussie
I'm majoring in
Linguistics
So you need not speak slowly
I run my own small business
Every cent I earn is mine
I drive my Chevy to school &
work
And no, that's not a crime!
You often stare as I walk by
You don't understand my veil
But peace and power I have found
As I am equal to any male!
I am a Muslim woman
So
please don't pity me
For God has guided me to truth
And now
I'm finally free
Elan Sudjanamihardja
Mobil: +49 (0)1 76 63 01 56
79
Germany
http://imanov.jeeran.com
http://sudjanamihardja.multiply.com
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"Fa maadza ba'da-lhaqq, illa-dl_dlalaal"
Leo Imanov
Abdu-lLah
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