Newfoundland Logic: 
Two Newfoundland fishermen, Jim and Bob, are sitting
at their favorite bar,  drinking beer. Jim turns to
Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired 
of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I
think I'll go to the community college, and sign up
for some classes."

Bob agrees that it's a good idea, and the two leave.

The next day, Jim goes down to the college and meets
the Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four
basic classes: Math, English, history, and
Logic."Logic?" Jim says. "What's that?"

The dean says, "I'll show you. Do you own a lawn
mower?"
"Yeah."
"Then logically speaking, because you own a lawn
mower, I think that you would have a yard."
"That's true, I do have a yard."
"I'm not done," the dean says.  "Because you have a
yard, I think logically that you would have a house."
"Yes, I do have a house"
"And because you have a house, I think that you might
logically have a family."
"I have a family."
"I'm not done yet.  Because you have a family, then
logically you must have a wife."
"Yes, I do have a wife."
"And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you
must be heterosexual."
"I am a heterosexual.  That's amazing, you were able
to find out all of that because I have a lawn mower."
Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the Dean's
hand and leaves to go meet Bob at the bar. 
He tells Bob about his classes, how he is signed up
for Math, English, History, and Logic.
"Logic?" Bob says, "What's that?"
Jim says, "I'll show you.  Do you have a lawn mower?"
"No."
"Then you're a queer.

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