Buat yg ga tau apa itu nikah, mahar, muta dan talaq. Kita bisa lihat kayak apa Islam nganggap cewek yg nurut Quran bisa digarap sesuka hati, hehehe... http://www.faithfreedom.org/articles/op-ed/nikah-mahr-muta-and-talaq/ 12:13 am | Posted by jonmc Nikah, Mahr, Muta and Talaq 1/11/2012 Nikah, Mahr, Muta and Talaq jonmc Having had a number of Muslim friends over the years I have been invited to a number of Muslim weddings. I have to confess that I always found the actual marriage, or “Nikah”, odd; in one room was the groom and in another was the Bride. The Imam came in and asked them, separately, a question which I understood translated as “Do you want to marry [Nikah] this man/woman” (as appropriate) and receiving an affirmative answer from the man and no objection from the woman, that was that. I should say that I only heard about the woman’s side, I never saw it – naturally. Then the Imam gave a speech to the men (I assume the women heard it as well via loudspeaker or from a hidden balcony or something) in which he extolled the virtues of Islamic marriage and (whether the presence of “Kaffir” like myself accounted for this I do not know) stated that it was “far superior” or “much better” than Christian or any other marriage. Setting aside the fact that the ‘reasons’ adduced by the Imams showed that they had little understanding of Western marriage and even less of Christian marriage, I did not doubt their sincerity – they at least sincerely believed what they said to be true, whether or not what they said was accurate. That set me looking at marriage in Islam, expecting to find that it exceeded all other types of marriage in its virtues (as the Imams said). What I found was a series of things that struck me as odd and/or perplexing: Mahr The first oddity that struck me was the concept of “mahr” or “bride-price”. It seemed that a Muslim man had to pay for (buy?) his bride. “The mahr is an amount of money or property that is given to the wife by the husband as a non-returnable dowry in the marriage contract. She may use it as she wishes.” (Islamic dictionary.com) “It is a gift of money, possessions or property made by the husband to the wife, which becomes her exclusive property. It is an admission of her independence, for she becomes the owner of the money or property immediately, even though she may have owned nothing before. … It is also intended as a token of the husband’s willing acceptance of the responsibility of bearing all the necessary expenses of his wife.” (Islam for today) [Note the contradiction here: the wife is independent, yet depends on Hubby for all expenses. Also: “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women ....” (Koran 4: 34) ] Ibn Katheer, said[of K 4:20-21] : “This means: … The mahr is given in exchange for the right to enjoy marital relations.” This states that paying a women her “Mahr” entitles the man to sexual (marital) relationships with her. “…So for those of whom [women] you have enjoyed sexual relations, give them their Mahr” (K4:24, Hilali-Khan) This is the other way around to Ibn Katheer’s commentary: here we have sex first, Mahr after. Typically, this bride-price was one or more items of value (eg gold jeweller, ranging up to property), but it could also be a less tangible ‘gift’ (eg. Mohammed’s Mahr to Saffiyah was to free her from sex-slavery when he chose to ‘marry’ her – the night after he’d finished killing the men of her tribe, including her father). >From the above I can only conclude that the “Mahr” or “bride-price” is what a >Mussalman must pay (it being obligatory) for the right to have sexual >relations with a woman (except sex-slaves -“those whom your right hands >possess”- to whom they already have full rights, according to Islam). Nikah This was really perplexing: according to different sources (all muslim) “Nikah” means “marriage”, “wedlock”, “contract” or “sexual intercourse”. “And if ye fear that ye will not deal fairly by the orphans, marry (fainkihoo) of the women, who seem good to you, two or three or four; and if ye fear that ye cannot do justice (to so many) then one (only) or (the captives) that your right hands possess. Thus it is more likely that ye will not do injustice. [K4:3] The underlined word is fainkihoo, which is “get married to”. The root word is nikah, which means marriage as you can see.” (Muslim-responses.com) “Nikah is an Arabic term used for marriage. It means “contract”.” (Nikah.com) [This rather begs the question “A contract for what?”] The“Islamic term for marriage, “Nikah” literally means sexual intercourse.” (Online Muslim Matrimonial.) With that sort of “clarity” about the meaning of the word I delved a little further, trying to find what the literal meaning of the word was: “The definition of “Nikah” is the penetration of one thing by another. … It also can mean the entwining of two objects one with the other.” (Dictionary of the Quranic phrases and its meaning; Sheik Mousa Ben Mohammed Al Kaleeby) “Linguistically, “Nikah” means embracing or penetrating. When it is pronounced “Nokh” it refers to a woman’s vagina. It is mainly used in the context of “sexual intercourse.” When it was used in reference to marriage it is because sex is a necessity in marriage. “ (Kitab Al Nikah: Commentary of Imam Ahmed Ben Ali Ben Hagar Al Askalani ) Philologists of great renown e.g., al-jawhari or Al-Azhari (the latter quoted in the Lisan al-Arab), state that “in the speech of the Arabs, the original meaning of nikah is sexual intercourse”. (Islam awakened). “Nikah-naama (document of marriage contract) is registered in Nikah. The … Nikah-naama specifies “Mahr,” the monetary amount the groom will give the bride. Mahr includes two amounts; one that is due before the marriage is consummated [i.e. Bride and Groom start sexual relations] …” (From Mehndi.com) “Jurists are in unanimous agreement on the fact that nikah means sexual intercourse and that it is used to denote the marriage contract as a figure of speech because the marriage contract is the legal means for having intercourse. Nikah [ie sexual intercourse]is permissible only after the marriage contract [Nikah-naama]is concluded between the bridegroom and the bride ” (light-of-life.com) - – - – - – - – - – - – - Nikah is not the only word translated as “marriage”. Arabic has another word “Zawaj” or “zawag”. For example: Transliteration: Allaahumma inni oreedo an ata’zawwaja … Translated: O Allah! I intend to marry… Zawaj means marriage. It is another word for Nikkah. (www.islamic-dictionary.com ) Zawajliterally means: pairing, where each zawj ‘pair’ is the zawj for the other. Zawj ‘pair’ does not have gender, both male and female are zawj for each other.(www.Umma.com) The word zawaj is used in the Qur’an to signify a pair or a mate. But in common parlance it stands for marriage. (world Of Islam). According to http://corpus.quran.com/qurandictionary, “zawaj” means, in its various forms, pairs, spouses, husbands, wives, mates, kind. It occurs 81 times in the Koran. (The same source notes that “nikah” in its various forms occurs 23 times and is only interpreted as marry or marriage.) Thus it seems clear that “zawaj” which could be understood as “pairing” or where referring to spouses as “the other half” is much closer to the meaning of the English “marriage” or “married”, than “nikah”, which seems to refer primarily to sexual intercourse and only euphemistically to “marriage”. Consider this hadith: Narrated ‘Aisha: that the Prophet, upon whom be peace, married her when she was six years old and he consummated his marriage when she was nine years old. (Sahih Bukhari 7:62:64) Here is the Arabic transliterated: “An Ayeshath Radhiyallahu Anha: AnnaNnabiyya Sallallahu Alaihi Vasallama, Tha’zawwajaha vahiya binthu sitha sineen, va udkhilath alaihi vahiya binthu this’in.” Comment: note that Mohammed zawwaj‘d her, he did not Nikah her. The word rendered “consumated” is udhilath. Udhilathis a form of dakhalawhich means “to enter”. What this means is the Hadith could well be rendered: “ …married her when she was six years old and he entered her when she was nine years old.”Why was this a “zawaj” rather than a “nikah”? Because there was no sex involved. The same Arabic word is used in Bukhari 7:62:65, although Bukhari 5:58:236 does use “nikah” (nakaha to be precise) – but also states that consummation happened at age nine. >From this I conclude that 1. 1. the word “Nikah” means “penetrate” and so means sexual intercourse [penetration] between people (whether it is vulgar or polite I do not know) and only in a euphemistic sense “marriage”. 2. 2. the “Nikah ceremony” or “Nikah contract” is thus the contract by which the man gets the legal right to penetrate a free woman (i.e. a non-slave) sexually. A mandatory part of this contract is the “Mahr” (payment for this right) and the undertaking to support her for the duration of the marriage. 3. 3. The word “zawaj” is closer in meaning to the English word “marriage”, as well as being the more common word in the Koran. Mut’a This is a form of “temporary marriage”. Today it is allowed only amongst the Shia, but both Sunni and Shia agree that in the early days of Islam a “Nikah Al-Mut’a”was permissible. Again I wanted to delve into the meaning of the word itself (rather than their translated and “interpreted”) meanings: “The Arabic dictionaries define mut’a as ‘enjoyment, pleasure, delight’.” (al-Islam.org) “Mut’a: … Literal Meaning: Pleasure (Arabic)” (www.ahlalhdeeth.com) “It is for a woman to say, I will be with you [lit: “enjoy you”] for such-and-such time for such-and-such amount of money.” (qa.Sunnipath.com) “Narrated ‘Ali: “I said to Ibn ‘Abbas, ‘During the battle of Khaibar the Prophet forbade Nikah Al-Mut’a …” ( Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 62, Number 50)” “It [Nikah Al-Mut'a] is a woman marrying a man according to an agreed upon dower [Mahr]and for a pre-determined period of time stated in a marriage contract which incorporates all the conditions of a marriage regarded by the Sharī`ah as sound. …The verse saying “…So with those whom you enjoyed [mut'a] sexual relations, give them their Mahr as prescribed…” (Qur`ān, 4:24 Hillali/Khan) had already been revealed about this type of marriage.” (Imamreza.net) “Fixed-Term/Temporary/Pleasure Marriage are different names for the Arabic word of “Mut’a” which is a contract between a man and woman, much in the same way the Long-Term/Permanent/ Conventional Marriage is. The main difference is that the temporary marriage [lasts] only for a specified period of time, and man and woman will become strangers to each other after the expiration date without divorce.” (Al-Islam.org) I am not interested in the argumentation between Sunni and Shia as to the legitimacy of “Nikah Al-Mut’a” in today’s world. The arguments are based on interpretations of “Fiqh” (Islamic jurisprudence). What is clear however, is that the “Nikah Al-Mut’a” (or “sex for pleasure” marriage) was at one time permitted. Interestingly the “temporary” and “permanent” marriages are considered to be much the same (“all the conditions of a marriage regarded by Shari’a as sound”); the main differences being that at the end of the agreed period the “mut’a” marriage automatically ended without a formal divorce, that neither party had inheritance rights and that any child of the marriage “belonged” to the man – i.e. he had automatic custody. It is worth pointing out that this differs from prostitution (as in “sex for money”) quite a lot. In particular at the end of a Mut’a marriage no matter how long or short, the woman would (or should) have to wait (2 months) until she was sure she was not pregnant before entering any other “marriage”, Mut’a or otherwise, so that there would be no questions as to paternity, if the issue arose. Shi’a cleric Yasir al-Habib has this to say in 2011: “Now, even if you find this [mut'a]repulsive, the Messenger of Allah didn’t find it repulsive. The Messenger of Allah approved this marriage by recognizing it. The Messenger of Allah permitted and authorized (temporary) pleasure marriages. …. If the marriage was by nature considered repulsive by the Shari’ah, meaning it was not pleasing to Almighty Allah and His Messenger (PBUH), then the Prophet from the beginning would not have permitted it. Why did he permit it? [Because] it wasn’t considered contrary to the honour of Muslim women. Why did he authorize his companions to marry Muslim women for a short time, and to “enjoy them (sexually),” [Qur’an 4:24]even with [ just]a handful of dates? …. If you say that this is adultery, then you’re accusing the Messenger (PBUH) of adultery, or that he legitimized adultery. If you say this is repulsive, you’re accusing the Messenger (PBUH) of being repulsive, or that the Messenger of Allah legitimized that which is repulsive, Allah forbid. Pleasure marriage came to solve a societal problem. … However, if my sister did that, according to its rules and laws, whether she were a widow and her husband had passed away, or she were divorced, and so forth; if she needed it (for whatever reason), then this marriage would be according to the tradition (sunnah) of Allah and His Messenger (PBUH). There is no shame in this. No shame at all. Conclusion: Given that the same language “Nikah” is used for permanent marriage and a “pleasure-marriage” this is further evidence that the “Nikah” is a legal contract allowing a Mussalman to have sex with a woman on the payment of “Mahr” and an undertaking to provide for her for the duration of the marriage (either fixed-term or indefinite). Therefore it would be right to term the “Nikah-neema” the “sex-contract”. Thus in “Nikah” (whichever one) the man buys sexual rights to a woman for a lump-sum payment (Mahr) plus upkeep for the duration of the contract (either fixed or indefinite). Talaq. This is an Arabic word that translates as “divorce”. Divorce is an entirely acceptable thing within Islam as a whole and it is not difficult, at least for the man. However, it becomes somewhat controversial in the form of the “triple Talaq”. In the triple Talaq the man says “Talaq” three times to his wife in the same instance. As a result she becomes “haram” to him and he cannot have sex with her again (should he wish to) until such time as she has married, had sex with (and sex is the vital element) and then been divorced by another man. Different Islamic schools of jurisprudence (schools of Fiqh) have different interpretations, some considering the “triple talaq” fully valid, others consider it an “innovation” but still – with regret – accept the fact of this divorce (i.e. the divorce is legal, though the method is illegal). It is based on a somewhat creative interpretation of part of K2:229: “A divorce is only permissible twice: after that, the parties should either hold Together on equitable terms, or separate with kindness.” What it is claimed this verse means is that a man can say “I divorce you” twice to his wife without the divorce taking effect, but if he says it a third time (whether in a single instance or not) the divorce is absolute and there is no way back – unless the woman marries another man (and has sex, since marriage = sex) and is then divorced. A sort of Islamic “three strikes and you’re out” policy. What is most important here is that the woman cannot “Talaq” her husband. This is clear from the context of the verse. In practice this means that it is much harder for a Muslim woman to divorce her husband than vice-versa. She has to go through the full arbitration/conciliation process (K4:128, 4:35), whereas he can just “Talaq” her, though (as said) several schools of Fiqh regard this as reprehensible. In this context it is worth quoting the following: Ali said “Women are plentiful and you can easily change one for another.” (Ibn Ishaq: p 496 ). In other words, this quote affirms that divorce is simple for men. To be fair, there are verses in the Koran (eg K2:229, 241) that state that divorced woman must be reasonably provided for, they should not be thrown onto the street with nothing after divorce. Conclusion: It is much easier for a man to divorce a woman in Islam than vice-versa. The relative ease of Islamic divorce points up (yet again) the fact that Islamic “marriage” is more akin to a business contract (except that no business-woman would accept such an inequitable a contract of course) than a “spiritual union” of two people. Women are regarded as disposable (according to Ali / Ibn Ishaq) in Islamic society. General Conclusions. 1. In an Islamic “wedding”, i.e. Nikah (sex-contract), the man buys the right to have sex, in fact sex-on-demand, with a free woman (Muslima) for a “bride-price” plus her upkeep for the duration of the marriage. 2. The man can easily (albeit reprehensibly) divorce his wife by “triple-talaq”, whereas the wife always has to go through the full reconciliation/arbitration process if she wishes to divorce her husband. 3. An Islamic marriage, despite many apologetic claims to the contrary, is not an equal partnership, the man’s rights are far greater than the woman’s (or women’s sine a man can have up to four wives.). 4. The prime aim of “Nikah” is the legalisation – by payment - of sexual intercourse and the getting of legitimate descendants for the man. 5. Despite the sincerity of the Imams, Islamic marriage is inferior to both Christian and civil marriages which are predicated on love and the equality of the partners. (I refer explicitly to Christian marriage since this was the form particularly denigrated by the Imams.) 6. The Islamicinstitution of “Nikah” has more in common with the Western ‘institution’ of a “Mistress” – a woman (in Islam up to four women) for whom the man provides in return for sex and whom he can replace relatively easily (divorce in Islam being easy for the man). As Ali says in the quote: “Women are plentiful and you can easily replace one with another”. Footnote: Before I get comments from Mussalmen saying how they really love and care for their wives (be it one, two, three or four of course) and that their relationships bear no similarity to that of the “Mistress”, I should point out that, from my own experience, many Muslim men and women form life-long, loving and (frequently) monogamous relationships and I do not dispute, rather I affirm, that this is the case. What is interesting (or amusing perhaps) is that by doing so they exceed the ‘moral qualities’ required of Muslim “Nikah”. Posted by jonmc on January 12 2012. Filed under Op-Ed. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.
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