http://www.arabnews.com/?page=13§ion=0&article=75904&d=7&m=8&y=2006&pix=kingdom.jpg&category=Local%20Press
Sunday, 6, August, 2006 (12, Rajab, 1427)
What Are We So Angry About?
Ghada Al-Houti . Al-Watan
Why is it so noticeable that Arabs usually behave in an angry manner when
leading their daily lives? Fathers deal aggressively with their children;
teachers behave accusingly with their students, and managers treat employees
with an air of distrust and suspicion.
Everyone seems to be angry and skeptical. Whereas in the West, though
some might be living in misery, people tend to dazzle you with their
sophisticated classy manners. I wonder why it is that we have to live with so
much tension and anxiety even though we have the strongest weapon - faith in
Allah?
Instead of fathers creating a tranquil and peaceful environment at home,
they do the opposite - dads rarely speak softly. They are always screaming and
shouting, something that leaves a negative impact on children and slowly
appears in a child's behavior. What is worse is that these children grow up
frustrated until they come to a point where they lose their self-esteem.
When dads take their kids to school they behave the same, in fact the
yelling probably increases and the short tempers become even shorter. The
negative aspect of this is that because boys grow up in a tension-filled
environment, bad habits become second nature. It is no wonder that when a young
boy grows up to become a father or even an employer, these negative habits
start appearing. It becomes a vicious circle as bad manners, anger and shouting
become second nature in generation after generation.
On the other hand, despite the fact that Westerners have more pressures
and stress their behavior is always humane making each and every person an
added value to society. What is more noticeable is their compassion and
sympathy when other people make mistakes. They express a degree of
understanding and work toward making others learn from their mistakes.
Before I came to live in New York, I remember being told about the
aggressiveness of New Yorkers. Having lived in the Big Apple myself, I have to
say that I couldn't find anything but modernization, civilization and above all
beautiful humane traits.
In the US there is a motto "A person is innocent until proven guilty."
For a while I lived in New York while undertaking treatment. In order to avoid
a feeling of loneliness I took up a university course. Many times I couldn't
attend lessons, and too much absence can potentially deprive a student of the
right to sit the final exams. I didn't ever look ill, so I was scared that when
I told lecturers that I didn't attend a lecture because I was ill I might not
be believed. Nevertheless, to my surprise lecturers always believed me and
never asked me to prove my illness with a doctor's note.
This experience really made me wonder why it is that we behave with
friends, colleagues, family and subordinates in a suspicious way? Why is it
that we doubt each other so much to such an extent that we end up destroying
our relationships? The most important question is: What is it that we are so
angry about?
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