What I'm wondering is this:
1. The server only serves on IPv4, changing this to IPv6 would probably
help. However, I wouldn't consider this a bug, or?
I'd say it's a bug in your TCP/IP stack.  An IP shouldn't take that long
to figure out that it is not configured to connect to IPv6 addresses.
It might also be, that he has a firewall installed that is blocking access to ::1. In that case, it takes much more time to figure out that you cannot connect. Because in that case, it is not a "connection refused" problem, but a "trying to connect to a closed/not responding port" problem.
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