How do I limit the filesize in bounces?

Too often, a customer sent a huge mail mail through our mail
relay which could not be delivered to the destination because
of the size. It could not be returned to the sender either,
because it is too large. And the whole message ends up in
my postmaster mailbox as a double bounce :-(

Then, I lowered databytes to 1Mb, because it had to be
lower than on our customers mail servers to solve the
problem above.

A customer suggests that I instead just bounce the mail
headers and the error messages back to the sender. 
(and discard the content of the original letter).

How is that done? 

-- 
Med venlig hilsen / Regards 
Netdriftgruppen / Network Management Group
UNI-C          

Tlf./Phone   +45 35 87 89 41        Mail:  UNI-C                                
Fax.         +45 35 87 89 90               Bygning 304
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