Hi Warrior,
I don't think my sexual feelings has ever been a problem for me when meeting new people. I was a married man when I had my SCI and my wife and I were sexually active before I was out of rehab. Over time my sexual feelings have become a part of who I am, and is a part of any relationship I'm in. For me the thought that my sexuality is somehow controlled by my SCI was never an option for me. People have told me that they never realized how good Quads are at making love until they met me. It's just who I am, and whom I will be for as long as I can see.
When I am with a lady, I don't think here is a AB or a Quad, someone with black hair, a blond, a brunette, a redhead. I think here is someone I like, that hanging around with will be fun. If it then turns into something sexual, then, like any consulting adults, we deal with it in a way that doesn't harm our relationship but is pleasing to us both.
I don't see myself being different in this from most other people, except I am will to say it out loud! :-)
With Love,
CtrlAltDel aka Dave
C4/5 Complete - 28 Years Post
Texas, USA
andrea murray <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
Stacy,I'm a par and I also can't feel my leg. But I had sexual feelings. Exp rely if I'm with someone I really want to be with. My trouble is that men treat me and see me as there friend or sister. In fact quad men are the same way. It really bothers me I'm hot and their not. Now that is frustration!Wheelchair Warrior
[EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:Thanks Stacy,I appreciate your honesty, thanks StacyLove Smurf xxxIn a message dated 01/01/2005 04:07:42 GMT Standard Time, [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes:I do have those feelings yes. I don't understand it though because I don't have feeling in my legs, but I do in those areas. I'm not sure to what extent because I haven't 'been' with anyone since I got sick. Of course I have experimented, but don't really have any desire to and I think when or at this rate if I am with anyone, that is when I will know. I do have a sore on the bottom of my foot and that hurts me as well. I don't get it. My doctor said that the nerves to your pelvic area are the most protected on the spine so if I were to feel anywhere, it would be there. I do get sporadic sensations on my legs but never in the same places all the time. My doctor also told me that with my disease, it makes things very strange. No SCI is the same, but I am very much different because of the way it happened. I don't know if I ever explained it but my spine is very atrophied because of the disease and the damage! ! left over from the inflammation the spine is still very much intact. I still sweat below my injury level, but the swelling is quite bad and I have more spasticity than most spinal cord patients.I'm having a hard time going through the holidays single. Most of my friends are married and/or have children. I don't have hardly any family and didn't have them here for Christmas and now alone for New Years. I find myself very left out because I don’t have anyone. One of my best friends pretty much only does things with other couples. Like going out to dinner, playing cards, etc. She helps me through the waiver program, so the time we spend together is when she is here helping me out with something. She just got in an accident and her car got totaled plus she got a broken arm. I can't get into her new car because it's too low and awkward to transfer out of, so we don't really do anything together anymore. It's been difficult getting through the holidays and will be glad when they are over. I'm just not looking forward to the next 6 weeks while everyone is making their valentines day arrangements.I am happy that everything is going well for you and Steve. When the time is right, everything will happen naturally. It's wonderful that he isn't pushing you into anything you are not ready to do. Keep taking it slow.Sorry for the book,Stacy
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