[QUAD-L] Re: TRAVEL--Us too

[Gloria Matthews]

Hello Bettye,  It is so nice to hear from you.......seems you might be the only other "long time" caregiver of hubby quad too. We also only travel to doctor appts and those are within a 30 min drive. Charles is recovering still from lung cancer treatment.  When we were younger and healthier (I am 55 and he is 64), we were able to just pack up and go about anywhere.....that has all changed in the last 2 years mostly due to my painful back and more equipment needed now then use to. We have a hospital bed at home with electronic air flow mattress and of course trapeze bar. Also since the partial lung removal, his muscles aren't as strong as they once were.  Everyone keeps telling us we should just be thankful for our blessings, that Charles is a lung cancer survivor and ALIVE and just stay home and be satisfied. This is very very hard especially when Charles keeps mentioning over and over that he would like to see the NC mountains ONE more time......go to Florida in the winter ONE more time, take ONE more cruise....on and on and on.Yet, he does not one thing to search and search for accessibility, beg someone to go with us and drive and help out with all that's needed.(course he never has.......I've always done the asking, the searching, the planning.......hence the frustration.)  It is awfully hard when I think my husband may not be around another year and I can not grant his "last wishes." We can't even go visit our kids and grandkids who are only 3 hours away, as he can't take the 2 way travel in a day trip. They don't come visit us much and even so, we live in a mobile home and there's not a lot of room.   And when they do come, they never offer to help get Dad in and out of bed, undressed, dressed, etc...........they can do it and they have done it but they NEVER offer to help MOM out.........   We did travel the 3 hrs Christmas weekend to see our kids and stayed in a Microtel motel nearby. Our son lived near by enough to come over and help out. We have to move the bed out from the wall to set up the trapeze, use bed risers (these flower pot looking things we carry around) to make the bed high enough so I won't have to bend over so far to help him get in and out & it makes wheelchair transfers do-able) getting dressed, etc......an eggcrate mattress we duct tape to the mattress....the wheelchair battery that weighs about 10 lbs, his potty/shower chair on wheels. He has to get from bed onto potty chair, get in bathroom for an enema, back over the commode, then roll into the shower. Like I think it was Lori that said, once you get all that stuff in the van, Charles can't get out till it's all unloaded.   Anyway, I just get so sad and frustrated sometimes when all our friends are going on trips and they just say, "hey, why don't you come with us?"....I know they don't have a clue as to what's involved, so when I explain this to them........they still forget and sometime later will say........"hey, why don't you come see us?".....then I have to explain all over again...........  I have vented enough for this morning...........I know you know where I'm coming from............I sure do need some support sometimes............. Sincerely,   Gloria Matthews 1204-58 Cedar Pt. Blvd. Swansboro, NC  hubby quad for 43 years ----- Original Message ----- From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Sunday, January 08, 2006 2:53 PM Subject: Re: TRAVEL Hi Gloria,   No my hubby and I do not travel at all. The only traveling we do is to doctors. His health is failing and we would not be able to physically do all that it would entail. They have a lot of trips set up, there is a place in Co. I think that is actually free to disabled Vets. U will hear from me soon with the imfo.   Bettye