If you want to die, you need some help. Depression is also very painful. I know. I have had it, and see the other side. Please take care of yourself and your depression, and look to see what meds or other depression treatment you can have to live a long quality of life... Okay? What is wrong with death, it's a part of life? I'm not depressed, I've been depressed and I know what it's like - even when I was depressed I never took medication because it was not going to change the situation. I have SO much to be grateful for - my apartment, my "husband," my van AND the ability to drive, many friends & family. I'm just so very tired of 36 years of waking up as a quad period. ~ Bobbie