Thanks to everyone who has responded (esp. Michael, I greatly
appreciate but also recognize that getting R on my machine is not your
career).  Your last response was (basically) uninstall, reboot, retry
Synaptic, if no good try:

jud...@judson:~$ sudo wget
http://cran.r-project.org/bin/linux/ubuntu/hardy/r-base-core_2.9.0-2hardy0_i386.deb

I GOT

--15:03:02--  
http://cran.r-project.org/bin/linux/ubuntu/hardy/r-base-core_2.9.0-2hardy0_i386.deb
           => `r-base-core_2.9.0-2hardy0_i386.deb.1'
Resolving cran.r-project.org... 137.208.57.37
Connecting to cran.r-project.org|137.208.57.37|:80... connected.
HTTP request sent, awaiting response... 200 OK
Length: 10,742,580 (10M) [application/x-debian-package]

100%[====================================>] 10,742,580   237.44K/s    ETA 00:00

15:04:12 (149.96 KB/s) - `r-base-core_2.9.0-2hardy0_i386.deb.1' saved
[10742580/10742580]

I FOLLOWED

jud...@judson:~$ sudo dpkg -i r-base-core_2.9.0-2hardy0_i386.deb

I GOT

dpkg: error processing r-base-core_2.9.0-2hardy0_i386.deb (--install):
 package architecture (i386) does not match system (lpia)

How is this?  I'm way underprepared here but it's a Dell Inspiron Mini
9", Intel Atom ~1.7 ghz

This message is hiding something else.  The Atom is in the i386
lineage as surely as Mine That Bird comes down from Seattle Slew, no?
Thanks everyone.  Judson

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