There seems to be a notion that a bike frame can be “sprightly” or
“lively”. On the other hand, a frame can supposedly be “sluggish.” I
assume this means that the tubing is more or less flexible. Does
flexible tubing make a bike more sprightly? Couldn’t you just as well
call it “floppy” or “saggy?” Can a bike even be sprightly, after all
it just sits there unless someone gets on it and pedals. Does flexible
tubing even make a bicycle faster, or more efficient to pedal? If it
does then why do the sprinters use bikes that are as stiff as
possible?

There are words used to describe bicycles that are starting to lose
their meaning.

“Comfy” gets used a lot, to describe handlebars, tires, handlebar
tape, saddles; even whole bikes probably. I think it has come to mean
upholstered or padded in some way, but that isn’t always the most
comfortable. For example I find a single wrap of cloth tape with a
single coat of shellac to be the easiest on my hands…but that wouldn’t
be “comfy” would it? It brings to mind the dreaded “comfort bike”
which is maybe comfortable to sit on inside the bike shop, but not to
ride from point A to point B if point A and point B are more than
about half a mile apart.

“Relaxed Geometry”: This has some basis in reality, but can a geometry
really be relaxed? If you push it too far, it isn’t relaxing. ( I
actually like how it gets expanded as “slack” geometry, “forgiving”…or
is that “forgiving” steel tubing? It bet it’s not too forgiving if
someone get whacked on the forehead with it. Would you be forgiven for
that?) You could turn it around and call it “acute angle” or “sharp
angle” geometry, but that doesn’t sound very relaxing. Plus for
someone riding a time trial bike, they may be more relaxed with a more
“open” geometry ( i.e. a steeper  seat tube angle. ) I guess the
ultimate “relaxed” geometry is the recumbent bike, which indeed is a
relaxed position, until the first time you try to ride up a hill and
you immediately want to go back to your more uptight upright bike.

“Quick” geometry, which tends to be another way of saying a short
chainstay.  This makes the bike turn quicker, but it tends to get
muddled with thinking that the bike will go quicker or faster, which
of course makes no sense at all. ( Just think of boats and drag racing
cars, the fastest ones are long and narrow, so instead of “quick”
geometry you could call it “slow” or “meandering” geometry…once again,
how can geometry be “quick?” ) Oh, I almost forgot about "quick"
steering...why do I always want my steering to be as slow as
possible?

If you read the reviews of some bicycles they are almost as bereft of
meaning as one of those fine wine descriptions..."eager",
"aggressive", " responsive", "nuanced", what's next, "insouciant?"

“Supple” tires….no comment.

There are lots more of these, does anyone know what I am talking
about? It’s a holiday…

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