neroc wrote:
> Are you Steve ( or anyone) suggesting a `points earned` other than a
> `net points` high table ?
Actually, the official "Totally Worthless Statistics" show the highest
achieving battlers and "assets" (in this hobby, the assets are given as
much credit as the battlers) in three different categories:
- Points Earned
- Points Given
- Net Points
And a quick analysis reveals that Mr. Tyng is the "world leader" in both
of the first two categories. In other words, due to some strange law of
physics, any asset operated by Mr. Tyng can both send and receive
paintballs at rates far greater than the average battler. Detailed
analysis of satellite imagery for every battle ever fought shows that
the battlefield is actually "warped" around any asset operated by Mr.
Tyng, the so-called "Tyng Effect". Such spatial warping is believed to
cause lots of paintballs to be attracted to the area (much like a
paintball blackhole), while counter-intuitively also causing lots of
paintballs to emerge in the direction of opposing assets.
Dr. Von Huppel, of the Tri-Pact AstroPhysics Division, believes that the
spatial warping is due to the high rate of speed attained by Tyng
assets, but his theory fails to explain how fixed artillery operated by
Tyng also exhibits the same effects. Further research is being
conducted to help solve the enigma, but the statistics clearly show that
something is happening beyond normal understanding.
When it comes to "Net Points", the statistics also clearly show that
Tri-Pact is the "world leader", holding all three of the top positions
in that category. In fact, Tri-Pact battlers are so effective at
earning points that their player salaries are now so high that the
league commissioners are considering an across the board salary cap.
Here again, the Tyng Effect is believed to be responsible for Tri-Pact's
success. With the massive numbers of paintballs surrounding any Tyng
asset, Tri-Pact battlers need only be in the general vicinity to both
give and receive points. Any Tri-Pact asset in the "Tyng Field" (the
area influenced by the "Tyng Effect") will score a large number of hits
simply by throwing paintballs into the Tyng Field. On the other hand,
even though Tyng assets are capable of generating large numbers of
paintballs inside the Tyng Field, each Tri-Pact asset inside the Tyng
Field will only receive 1/N hits on average (where N is the number of
opposing assets in the Tyng Field). Tri-Pact battlers learned years ago
to only enter the Tyng Field when two or more battlers are present,
which ensures that their Net Points will be high, regardless of how many
times their assets get destroyed.
So, as you can clearly see, despite the title displayed on the page, the
statistics are not totally worthless. In fact, some have claimed that
the secret of the universe lies somewhere deep inside the statistics,
waiting to be uncovered by true believers.
Personally, I just think people like seeing their name in print, so the
more statistics the better :-)
Frank P.
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