> If Premiership teams were ladies... > > Arsenal - Angelina Jolie - Look good, a bit maverick at times and you > know they have the potential to really f**k you over. > > Aston Villa - Dido - One big hit. Fairly inoffensive really. > > Birmingham City - Maria Carey - Occasionally interesting, frequently > annoying. Supporters are thick. > > Blackburn Rovers - Melanie Sykes - Common as muck Lancy, constantly > worrying. > > Bolton Wanderers - Natalie Imbruglia - Always looks like she might go > down but never does! > > Charlton Athletic - Martine McCutcheon - Chirpy Cockney with the > ability to spring a few surprises! > > Chelsea - Maggie Thatcher - Hated by millions,supported by idiots! > > Everton - Barbara Windsor - Been laughing at those tits so long we > forget that once upon a time they actually looked quite good! > > Fulham - Andrea Corr - Not bad to look at but not much of her. Seems a > bit awestruck with fame. > > Leicester City - Patsy Palmer - Generally a bit crap and second rate > really, but some people like her. > > Leeds United - Christina Aguilera - Dirrrty. > > Liverpool - Sophie Ellis Bextor - Individually all the components look > fantastic - just doesn't work when put together. > > Man City - Madonna - Have been big at times - now lost the plot a bit > > Man United - Jordan - Dominated by tits. Quite repulsive really. > > Middlesborough - Tara Palmer Tompkinson - Can look quite good at the > back but nothing at all up front to speak of. > > Newcastle United - Pamela Anderson - Can look good. Various unsavoury > elements though. > > Portsmouth - Chrissie Hynde - On the face of it a has-been but you're > quite interested in what she's going to do next. > > Southampton - Kylie Minogue - Sometimes you feel sorry for them, > They're not huge and you've got a bit of a soft spot. > > Tottenham Hotspur - Kim Wilde - Glamorous in the 80's not so nice to > watch now. > > Wolverhampton Wanderers - Lynda Lovelace - Big in the 70's guaranteed > to go down.
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