Conversations with Singaporean Taxi Drivers (No.1) By Farish A Noor
For those of us who are accustomed to the rigours of fieldwork in faraway places, taxi drivers and other conductors of public transport are, and have always been, a reliable source of information and gossip. For the benefit of Malaysians and others who have little time and/or opportunity to visit our friendly neighbours down south, we offer these tit-bits of street wisdom. Today we talk to Mr Hong, (Taxi number xxxx), who enlightens us about the nature of the global fuel and gas crisis... Mr. H: "Wah, you know ah how much I take home end of the month?? Only two thousand dollars la! Two thousand!! And some more my wife got to work also, got two children to send to school what? How can? We both work like crazy people for what? Make money, send to school; make money, send to school. Like this finish la, wife want to go on holiday some more. Chinese New Year time you think she want to go to JB only ah? Where can like that man? Have to go to Genting, sometimes have to go to Bangkok, have to go shopping. Like this mati wan la! Now you see all taxis got use gas wan ya? Mine also company said change to gas, so we all got to change. But then what? Now gas cheaper la, little bit. Later on then what? Hey, rich people not stupid you know- when they know gas cheaper, then they change to gas too. Then what? Mati again la! Haiya, you know why all this gas and petrol costing so much? I tell you the big secret ah? Its all because the America want to keep all the petrol and gas now la. So you see the America they buy, buy, buy all the gas and petrol they can find. But they dont sell their own gas and petrol you know? Where got American gas and petrol here? You see ah? No lah- all the gas and petrol come from Arab wan. Arab not so smart so they sell, sell, sell la- America smart fellow they buy, buy, buy. Then they keep. They keep in the big petrol tank underground one, like the one in Las Vegas and place like that- nobody can see wan. Look from space satellite also cannot see. All hidden wan, under the ground. Wah, America clever la like that. So when in the end no more petrol and gas, Arab also poor, we all poor, got no gas and petrol- then what? America got the petrol and gas, so there still got car, got taxi. Here all finished already. Then whole world have to kow-tow to America, like big Taiko. Now also America already taiko, can whack anyone anywhere. Then when petrol all finished, become even bigger taiko somemore. Wha, finish la like that! Thats why now America so angry with Indonesia. Indonesia also getting clever wan. Now they pretend no got petrol anymore. Indonesian people also get so angry, want to blame petrol company la, want to blame government la. Haiya I tell them you fellas shaddap la, keep quiet la. You cannot see ah, your government doing like America, keeping petrol so that in future got some extra spare one can use. Not like Malaysia mah- Malaysian not so smart la- Why you go and sell and sell like that? Haiya, then when no more petrol what you going to do? Buy from who? Singapore? Aiya- Singapore where got petrol mah? We also have to kow tow to America then, all countries have to kow-tow to America, then become big taiko like gangster only. But Indonesia little bit smart lah, they keep some spare so they dont have to kow-tow so much. Rest of us, finish la. Me also finished. Thats why I tell my children like this: When you grow old like me, you have to walk to work ok? No more petrol by then. No more car, taxi also dont have. By then I will die already lah, but my children have to start to learn to walk from now. Everyday I tell them: You walk to the office, you walk to the school! Hokay, that cost 24.70 dollar. You want receipt boss?"
