Needless to says the subject of gay marriage has come up in my courses (the subject of sexual harassment of gay students and teachers and discrimination based on sexual orientation, generally, the employment of public school teachers, and the formation of gay-lesbian clubs where a school has allowed other non-curricular clubs are issues we routinely discuss).

One observation I have made (the phenomenon appears to have intensified with the advent of the gay marriage issue) is that one and occasionally two male student is/are vehemently anti-gay. For instance, a few semesters ago I posed the question about a student who looked up to "you" coming to "you" for advice and comfort because he was unsure of his sexuality. How would "you" handle this situation? A couple of male students were simply appalled at the very thought of being put in that situation. Could not envision themselves offering any consolation, words of compassion or kindness to the student at all and found the very thought of this occurring extraordinarily threatening. Other students opined that they might refer the students to a counselor, but that they would not condemn the student or show hostility toward him even though the situation might make them uncomfortable. This is an issue, in part, because of the high rate of suicide/attempted suicide among gay and lesbian adolescents and my purpose was to remind students that how they responded could have profound consequences.

Anyway, this spring as we've been discussing (briefly) gay marriage in the context of equal rights and sources of law (full faith and credit--state v. federal--statutes v. constitional amendments), I wondered aloud why it was that the students with the strongest feelings were male students responding to male homosexuality, that lesbianism did not seem to provoke the same degree of (dare I say it? <VBG>) homophobia. I went on to speculate that society generally and parents, especially fathers, appear to be much more tolerant of female children exhibiting male characteristics and interests (the tomboy being viewed/portrayed with some measure of amused approval) than male children exhibiting female characteristics or being interested in traditionally female activities, e.g., the little (how little is acceptable) playing with baby dolls, being exceptionally tender or nurturing, wanting to play tea parties (gosh, I don't know if children even do that anymore), etc. There seems to be a very bright line for little boys (around age four-ish) when interest in traditionally female things is no longer permissible. That line has always been and appears to be getting even more fuzzy where girls are concerned. Well naturally, I ended up with "I wonder why this is." And kept pushing them with more "why, why, why's."

This observation evoked some anecdotes about fathers going "ballistic" about effeminate characteristics in sons.  To which I responded, "Why?"

BTW, several students said, in connection to the gay marriage discussion, that they had gay relatives who were perfectly nice folk. I thought that particularly interesting in the deep South.

Frances R. A. Paterson, J.D., Ed.D.
Associate Professor (school law)
Department of Educational Leadership
Valdosta State University
Valdosta, GA 31698
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