The technical substance of this document seems correct.
However, I find the descriptive technique slightly annoying.
In order to deal with the alignment effect of squeezing in the Number of
Locators, the text ends up providing two Examples, and no clearly
labelled normative syntax description. I suggest the following cosmetic
changes:
1) Start with a definition of the syntax, not "Example ICMP message body".
2) Define the syntax in terms of a fixed header which contains a first
preference and first locator, and then multiple isntances of "additional
locator" records, each of which contains two 8 bit reserved fields, a
preference and a locator. (Two reserved fields so that the second one
can be parallel to the fixed header reserved field, if we ever want to
use the field.)
2') Then, in the description of "Num of Locs" do not describe it as the
number of Locators that follow the reserved field. Rather, described it
as "the number of locators in the message, There are Num of Locs - 1
instance of the additional locator record. Num of Locs must always be
at least 1." or similar words.
Yours,
Joel
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