Due to increasing products liability
litigation, American liquor manufacturers
have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following
warning labels
be placed immediately on all containers:
Warnings:
The consumption of alcohol may leave you
wondering
what the heck happened to your bra.
The consumption of alcohol may make you
think
you are whispering when you are not.
The consumption of alcohol is a major factor
in dancing like an idiot.
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to
tell your friends
over and over again that you love them.
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to
think you can sing.
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to
believe that ex-lovers
are really dying for you to telephone them at 4:00 in
the morning.
The consumption of alcohol may make you
think you can logically
converse with members of the opposite sex without
spitting.
The consumption of alcohol may make you
think you have
mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your
ass kicked.
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