This is what Andy Rooney said on "60 Minutes" a few weeks back:
"I like big cars, big boats, big motorcycles, big houses and big
campfires. I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some
governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack
addicts for squirting out babies.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can
kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you
from driving to the ball game

I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, that is why there are
no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOU LISTENING MARTHA
BURKE?

I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is
an opinion.

I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except
numbers. The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are
things like the United Negro College Fund,
Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America.

Try to have things like the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine,
White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what happens.
Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door.

I have the right "NOT" to be tolerant of others because they are
different, weird, or tick me off. When 70% of the people who get
arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the population is black, that is
not racial profiling, it is the Law of Probability.

I believe that if you are selling me a milk shake, a pack of cigarettes, a
newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of fact,
if you want to be an American citizen, you should have to speak English!

My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you can leave the
countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours.

I think the police should have every right to shoot your sorry self if  you
threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word
"freeze" or "stop" in English, see the above lines.

I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are
qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or
tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or
any other business.

We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in
wars to defend their freedoms, so that decades later they could come over
here and tell us our constitution is a living document; and open to their
interpretations.

I believe a self-righteous liberal or conservative with a cause is more
dangerous than a Hell's Angel with an attitude.

I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue
to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system
that's better, and put your name on the building. Ask your buddy who
invented the Internet to help you.

"I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please
don't pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home until
that new lip ring heals. I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth as
you serve me french fries!

I am sick of "Political Correctness." I know a lot of black people, and not
a single one of them was born in Africa; so how can they
be"African-Americans"? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don't go around
saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great,
great, great grandfather was from Europe.

I am proud to be from America and nowhere else. And if you don't like my
point of view, tough. DON'T PASS IT ON!!"

While life may not be the party we hoped for, while we're here we might as
well dance.



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