Friday, 04/09/04 Beard up and running
By JIM WYATT Staff Writer
As a football star at Pearl-Cohn High School in the late 1990s, Santonio Beard tasted success and everything that went with it.
The Firebirds won championships. Beard won awards. He had more friends than time. With a name as unique as his ability, he was as close to a household name in Nashville as a high school athlete has ever been. He seemed on the fast track to bigger, better things.
But as Beard sat in his apartment with tears streaming down his face last April, he felt 100 years removed from his glory days at Pearl-Cohn and the University of Alabama.
His life had changed, and it was about to change even more. A failed drug test had put a question mark next to his name leading up to the 2003 NFL draft, but Beard still didn't give up hope of being selected.
After all 262 picks, however, his name had not been called.
He cried for an hour.
''Then the next day I hit rock bottom,'' Beard said. ''I wasn't going to actually do it, but I contemplated wiping myself out. When you have something you've worked for your entire life taken away from you, it makes you question some things. It seemed like the world was coming to an end for me. And I knew it was all my fault because I did something really stupid.''
Things got worse before they got better. For weeks, Beard had trouble forgiving himself. He said many friends and even some relatives suddenly viewed him as a failure and ''went away.''
He shut out those closest to him and became deeply depressed. He moved out of his Rivergate apartment because every time he walked in the door it took him back to draft day.
''He shut down from me and everyone — he didn't want to talk to anybody,'' said his mother, Joan Beard. ''Something like that either makes you or breaks you. Was he going to be a man or a boy?''
Eventually, Beard realized he was the only one who could revive himself. Less than a year later, he's back to his old self — upbeat, confident and talking about becoming a starting running back in the NFL.
On Monday, Beard reported for the first day of offseason workouts with the Denver Broncos. Making the Broncos won't be easy — Denver has two other proven running backs on its roster — but Beard finally has the big shot he hoped for.
He said he's not about to let it slip away this time.
A regrettable decision
Beard said if he'd known how things would turn out at Alabama, he probably never would have left school after his junior season to enter the draft.
But when Alabama hired Coach Mike Price, the writing was on the wall for Beard. Price loved the passing game. Beard, of course, wanted to run.
Beard examined the list of draft-eligible running backs, decided it wasn't an especially deep class and made himself eligible. Price was eventually fired amid scandal, and was replaced by ground-game loving Mike Shula.
''If I had known that was going to happen, I probably would have stayed in school,'' Beard said. ''Some people said I got bad advice and came out, but that was all me.''
The biggest mistake of Beard's young life was yet to come.
Less than a month before the NFL combine, where top prospects are invited to workout and meet with NFL teams, Beard was in Atlanta working out with a friend. They were also having a good time, including smoking marijuana.
Not long after he arrived at the combine in Indianapolis, Beard realized he would have to pay for his poor judgment — and this time for some bad advice.
''I didn't even know I was going to take a drug test. I had no idea. I am not blaming anyone but myself, but a guy I was working out with in Nashville told me that I wasn't going to have to take one,'' Beard said.
''I knew I wasn't going to pass it. I knew I had smoked and there wasn't enough time for it to get out of my system. I knew right then and there I was going to fail it.''
A few weeks later, a letter from the NFL confirmed his fears. His buddy in Atlanta, another draft hopeful, got a similar letter.
Beard began to brace for the worst.
Downward spiral
Before the combine, Beard thought he might be drafted somewhere in the first three rounds. After the drug test, he still believed he'd be selected around the sixth round.
At Alabama Beard rushed 678 yards as a sophomore and 811 yards as a junior. Despite splitting snaps with other running backs he had provided flashes of brilliance for the Crimson Tide, including a five-touchdown game against Ole Miss and a 199-yard outing against Auburn.
But it was all for naught in the eyes of NFL teams, who were more concerned about his drug test and a DUI arrest in 2001. He was also deserted by some of those who earlier had cheered him on.
''He had some fair-weathered friends,'' said his aunt, Helen Beard. ''He had some friends that wanted a piece of him when he was in the limelight, but when his limelight shattered, they scattered.''
Pressure from others on the street made things worse. He could outrun defenders on a football field, but he couldn't outrun reminders of his mistakes.
''It seemed like everywhere I went, people had something to say,'' Beard said. ''It was like, 'Santonio, how could you do that, man?' Or 'Man, you blew your shot!' People should have been trying to encourage me, instead it was like, 'Man, Santonio, you blew it!'
''I could be at a restaurant, at the movies, or walking down the street. Somebody would notice me and have something negative to say. I was like, 'Oh my God, I've got to get out of here. I knew I blew it. I didn't need people reminding me of that.'
A few weeks later, Beard packed up and went to Dallas. He moved in with his uncle, Ed Brown, and began to get his mind right.
Upward swing
Beard didn't flinch last May when the Green Bay Packers invited him to tryout and then passed on him. He knew the tryout was a favor because former Alabama assistant coach Sylvester Croom was a Green Bay assistant at the time.
Other teams also expressed interest in Beard, but nothing panned out. He switched agents and eventually landed on the practice squad for the British Columbia Lions of the Canadian Football League.
It wasn't a glamorous job, but Beard said he got his spark back during those two months in Canada.
Late last year, the Oakland Raiders signed Beard to their practice squad, but they released him a week later because of a matter related to his CFL contract.
Finally, in February, the Broncos signed him to a three-year deal. He felt the same surge of adrenalin he felt while rushing for 5,630 yards and scoring 91 touchdowns back in high school.
''Santonio has always been a great athlete, that has never left him,'' said Maurice Fitzgerald, Beard's coach at Pearl-Cohn. ''But I think once you peel away some of the exterior things of his life and he gets down to the core, he might have found out some things about himself that maybe he didn't know, because he never had to dig down this deep.
''Santonio has an NFL body, he has speed, he has vision. He has all those things other backs have, and it is just getting in there and taking advantage of the opportunity. To do that he has to be totally in shape and totally clean and all those things that go with it and ... that is with any job. You mess up and they are going to dismiss you.
''I think Santonio still has passion and still has hope and now he has a marvelous opportunity.''
His big chance
Beard said he won't make another mistake like the one that dented his NFL dream.
''To be completely honest with you, all that stuff was probably the worst thing that ever happened to me, but it was also the best thing that ever happened to me,'' he said. ''It gave me a new perspective on a lot of things I wasn't really serious about. I was on this high horse and it kind of humbled me back to where I needed to be.''
With the Broncos, Beard will try to get noticed on a team that recently traded star running back Clinton Portis to the Washington Redskins.
Denver signed 11-year veteran Garrison Hearst to compete with Quentin Griffin for the starting tailback job, and Beard wants to get in that mix. Another former Alabama back, Ahmaad Galloway, is also a Bronco, but he's currently playing in NFL Europe.
Beard will get a chance to prove himself over the next few months. The Broncos hold minicamps in May and June, followed by training camp in July.
Beard, 24, said things have never been easy for him. He fought his way from fourth string to first string as a sophomore at Pearl-Cohn. He attended a prep school in Connecticut to get his grades up so he could play for Alabama, then a knee injury ruined his second season with the Tide.
But events of the last 16 months forced him to do more soul searching than ever.
Beard envisions himself back in the fast lane, even if he had to take a detour — and lose part of his cheering section — to get there.
''I am fighter, man. I had to persevere through a lot of stuff and that's what I did. It was tough, and it was a long haul, a real long haul,'' he said. ''But I still have a dream to play in the NFL, and I want to live it. I've lived out my dream through high school. I've lived out my dream through college and I am going to live out my dream in the pros.
''You watch, I am going to run out there with an NFL jersey on that has 'Beard' on the back. I am out to show people that I'm not done.''
Jim Wyatt is a staff writer for The Tennessean. He can be reached at 259-8015 or [EMAIL PROTECTED]
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