Hi all, allow me drop some thoughts and step into the silence:
I am not a developer but >>only<< a mathematician, but am following this list for quite some time. Mostly, I have only time to skim-read this list, but it is indeed an important source of information for me. I nearly never take part in discussions or polls since I don't have enough time to read all the mails in detail, do some research (to fill the gaps of my missing developer knowledge) and then make a decision/write something -- and by doing so -- not be silent. I am very thankful for ALL people who invest time into this awesome software that I use nearly every day for free. For me it is really sad that -- afaik -- two of those persons that invest so much time into this project (Dima and Matthias) have so many differences, mainly on a personal level, it seems to me. But there are also other people whose posts felt like quite some bad vibrations. As a not so young woman in tech, I am used to such ... problems. I would suggest a meeting in person, with enough time, with a good mediator. Those differences need to be spoken out and worked on. 100 E-Mails per day will not untangle the knot, imho. And, btw, none of all the e-mails made me feel uncomfortable, just sad. Best wishes, Doris Behrendt > On 11. Apr 2024, at 22:50, Matthias Koeppe <matthiaskoe...@gmail.com> wrote: > > Trigger Warning: In this post, I will discuss topics that can make some > people uncomfortable; in particular readers who have themselves been the > target of abuse, bullying, and disrespect in the past. (I apologize if I have > omitted this Trigger Warning in previous posts that touched these topics.) > > My previous post in the series: > https://groups.google.com/g/sage-devel/c/OeN8o14s6Jc/m/ChnpijP3AgAJ, titled > "I: How we talk about past, current, future contributions" appeared over a > month ago. > > Unfortunately, this post has been met with a complete silence. I argue that > this is but one symptom of a disease of our Sage community: The community has > been severely damaged by toxicity, not just by the most recent excesses but > already over a much longer term. Possible other symptoms: > (1) The lack of visible diversity in our community. > (2) Silence when harmful conduct is happening in plain sight. > (3) The disengagement from matters of community, governance, leadership. > > I argue that we need active long-term steps to rebuild a healthy, inclusive > community. > > Rebuilding our community has to be rooted in consideration for the weakest in > our community, the voices that have already disappeared from our community, > and for the targets of abuse, bullying, and disrespect. > > The question that we need to ask is: What is necessary so that they feel > comfortable and empowered to participate? > > I argue that it has to start with > - recognizing and acknowledging the existence and the asymmetric nature of > abuse, bullying, and disrespect, > - understanding the specific damage that all of these do on individuals > (hint: targets of abuse do not just get "upset") and on our community, > - learning about the techniques and mechanisms of abusers and abuse (for > example: keeping plausible deniability and "playing the victim" are > well-known parts of the tool set of abusers), > - affirming as a community the goal of building an inclusive community in > which abuse, bullying, aggression, disrespect, harassment are shunned. > > What is counterproductive: > - Euphemisms such as describing abusive comments as a "heated discussion". > - Well-meaning advice to targets of abuse to take a break. > - Giving abusers the benefit of the doubt. > - Reprimanding targets of abuse for calling out abuse. > - Both-siding bullying with anti-bullying activism. > > Matthias > > > > -- > You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups > "sage-devel" group. > To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an > email to sage-devel+unsubscr...@googlegroups.com. > To view this discussion on the web visit > https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/sage-devel/c23354f9-1ec0-4421-a495-1b0620faed4fn%40googlegroups.com. -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "sage-devel" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to sage-devel+unsubscr...@googlegroups.com. To view this discussion on the web visit https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/sage-devel/5453A8B9-62D2-4471-BAAB-21FD94ED3EC6%40me.com.
