Yeah, I'm all for romance--some of what he did is something I can see myself doing--but this is a bit much. I'm *not* for going broke getting married. The article says he originally thought she was stuck up, and she thought he was a loser. I may be off base, but part of me wonders if he's still trying to impress that part of her that he thought was stuck up, and show her he's not a loser.
My wife was unique in this marriage thing. I had to convince *her* to have a wedding ceremony. The whole idea of the time, trouble, and money of a wedding turned her off at first, and she suggested running to the JP. Plus, she couldn't see getting sucked into inviting a whole bunch of relatives, acquaintances, and co-workers that we weren't really close to, ending up having to feed dozens of our closest "friends". And, we live in Atlanta, but our family's back home in Texas, and we didn't want to fly back there and have to setup a wedding, nor try to get relatives to come here for one. So her idea to do the JP thing. Now, I ain't a fool, and I knew that in a few years she'd regret not doing *something*. Even though we can always have a more elaborate ceremony later in life, I wanted to do something for the first one. So we ended up doing a small, inexpensive ceremony. First we called around for a place to get married (we didn't have a regular church home). After choking on quotes from several hundred dollars to as high as two or three thousand from places like the National Honor Society HQ here in Atlanta, we found a bed and breakfast that had just been bought and renovated by a couple. The B&B has lots of character. It used to be run as an inn and health spa by a licensed physical therapist back in the '30s and '40s. Lots of Atlanta city councilmen and Georgia politicians stopped by for "therapy" quite frequently. (Apparently, one hour massages at lunchtime did wonders for the bigwigs). Indeed, the front desk still has the original status board: whenever an official was getting his "therapy", a light representing that room lit up on the status board. All the rooms are done in 1920's styling with very romantic themes. Eager to get the word out on the restored B&B, the owners cut us a de al. They did the cake, the flowers, provided the honeymoon suite (complete with a big spa tub) for the weekend, and did the music for the ceremony by putting together a collection of jazz and other tunes from CDs. Since we wanted a small affair, nothing really formal, they suggested we do a breakfast wedding, which could be more informal. The husband cooked grits, sausage with gravy, bacon, eggs, biscuits, ham, rice. We had fresh fruit, juice and sparkling cider. The wife made my wife's bouquet. They also were good friends with a Unitarian minister, who was this really cool older white guy. He was a former Catholic priest, had a black wife, and was very open minded, cool, and knowledgeabe. He had a book containing ceremonies, prayers, and sayings from dozens of faiths and denominations. We let him create something for us, and he came up with a nice, spiritual but non-denominational ceremony that was simple but moving. The entire package cost less than three hundred bucks. My wife then found a new photographer through a co-worker. The lady wanted to get some name recognition, and agreed to do our wedding pictures--including giving us the negatives--for about a hundred and fifty bucks. Then, my wife goes to the JC Penney outlet and finds a gorgeous formal wedding gown for another hundred bucks or so, which she had altered for a good price, and which ended up looking like it'd been bought at an upscale bridal shop. She insisted on making her own tiara, which she did from materials bought at Michaels. I rented a tux for a good price. Since neither of us really knew what kind of rings we wanted, we bought some basic white gold bands--plus a simple but elegant engagement ring for her-- for another two hundred bucks from Service Merchandise. (I still wear mine fifteen years later). The wedding was a big success. We had about twenty-five guests, consisting of our closest friends and co-workers. No one had ever heard of a breakfast wedding before, but they loved it. For one, they loved not having to sit around all day waiting for a wedding. And the idea of grits and sausage with gravy for a wedding meal was a cool change of pace. The time of day, the easy formality of the affair, the small group of people (a "family of friends" the minister called us)--all made for a really fun, joyful occassion. The entire wedding--including the B&B, rings, gown, and tux--cost us less than a thousand dollars, and was paid for and done with up front. It's not that we were cheap. It was just that we're both people who don't like to do things just for the sake of appearance, and don't like to throw a lot of money away on things tradition says have to be done. For example, along the way we kept running into people saying you can't do this, you don't have enough time, you have to invite these people, you have to wear this type of suit, breakfast weddings just aren't done, etc. We're both religious but not fanatic, so something spiritual rather than denominational was appealing. didn't see the need to invite dozens of people we barely knew. As for a honeymoon and fancier rings, we didn't know what we wanted then, so decided to wait. For our tenth anniversary, I paid for a ring my wife had custom designed at a jewelers, which she loved way more than if she'd bought something off the shelf back in the day. Our "honeymoon" took place about twelve years after getting married, which was a no-expenses-barred trip to San Francisco and Maui. We saved for that trip for years, and everything was paid for once the trip was over. Ultimately the simple but heartfelt, laidback but romantic nature of the wedding worked best for us. Now for my twentieth anniversary in five years? Lord willing I have the ability, i may do something fancy like a big trip to Europe or a rededication ceremony back in Texas with dozens of relatives. But I still hope to keep things simple and elegant, not self-consciously extravagant for appearance's sake. -------------- Original message -------------- From: "votomguy" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Hmm if he's that broke, then why would he waste that money on the proposal and not the wedding? Maybe it's just me. --- In scifinoir2@yahoogroups.com, [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: > > [snip] When's the wedding? Don't know: they haven't gotten around to planning it, and buddy's broke anyway. [snip] > > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
