ADDRESS TAE A HAGGIS
Fair faw yer honest, sonsie face
Great chieftain o th puddin-race!
Abuin them aw ye tak yer place
Painch, tripe or thairm:
Weel are ye wordie o a grace
As lang's ma arm.
Th groanin trencher thare ye fill
Yer hurdies like a distant hill
Yer pin wad help tae mend a mill
In time o need
While thro yer pores th dews distil
Like amber bead.
His knife see rustic labour dicht
An cut ye up wi readie sleicht,
Trenchin yer gushin entrails bricht
Like onie ditch;
An then, O what a glorious sicht,
Warm-reekin, rich!
Then, horn fer horn
They stretch an strive:
Deil tak th hindmost! oan they drive
Till aw their weel-swallit kytes belyve
Are bent lyke drums;
Then auld guidman, maist like tae rive
"Bethankit!" hums.
Is thare tha ower his French ragoot
Or olio tha wad staw a sow
Or fricassee wad mak her spew
Wi perfect sconner
Luiks doon wi sneerin, scornfu view
Oan sic a dinner?
Poor deil! see him ower his trash
As feckless as a witherit rash
His spindle shank, a guid whip-lash
His nieve a nit;
Thro bluidie flood or field tae dash
O hoo unfit!
Bit mark th rustic, haggis fed
Th tremblin earth resounds his tread
Clap in his walie nieve a blade
He'll mak it whissle
An legs an arms, an heids will sned
Like taps o thrissle.
Ye Powers wha mak mankind yer care
An dish them oot their bill o fare
Auld Scotlan wants nae skinkin ware
Tha jaups in luggies;
But, gin ye wish her gratefu prayer
Gie her a haggis!
-- Robert Burns, National Bard o Scotlan, born th day in 1759
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COLONEL IAN J. L. ADKINS - [EMAIL PROTECTED]
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Crown Malt Inspector
Provost of the Village of Dunroamin
Invernesshire, Scotland
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The Angry Scotsmen's Internet Asylum
http://www.cyberhub.co.uk
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http://www.blackmill.net
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