----- Original Message -----
From: "Archibald, Steve" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Sent: 14 February 2001 17:14
Subject: Glaswegian Pie
> For the Churchill Scholarship Concert :
> >
> > Glaswegian Pie (Sung to the tune of American Pie, played on the lute)
> >>
> >> A long long time ago,
> >> I can still remember how those weeji bampots made me laugh,
> > And I know if I had a chance to see those Neds and Sengas dance, I'd
laugh
> >my f*c*ing arse> off once again.
> >
> >> 'Cos don't they realise it's not clever,
> >> Drinking Buckfast doon the river,
> >> Tucked in trackie bottoms,
> >> They look just f*c*ing rotten!
> >> I can't remember if I cried when I saw these bams in East Kilbride, But
it
> >> amused me deep inside, the day the mucker thrived!
> >> And they were singin'........
> >> Bye bye, eatin' Fray Bentos pie,
> >> Drove the Uno roon' the toon oh wi' the techno up high,
> >> Wearing wooly bunnets though it's nearly July
> >> Singin', "There's that posh wee c**t fae Milngavie!"
> >> "There's that posh wee c**t fae Milngavie!"
> >>
> >> Did you write the book of sh*te
> >> "Can I borrow ten bob, gonnae gee'za light?"
> >> Bugger off yer full o' pish!
> >> Oh and do you believe in hardcore techno?
> >> Huv ye gubbed 5 ectos fur a night at the Metro?
> >> And can you teach me how to speak reeeaaallll slow?!
> >> You can tell that she's in love wi' him,
> >> 'Cos he's fae Ibrox and she's a Tim,
> >> They both kicked off their socks and those manky old Reeboks.
> >> He was a scrawny youth with a GAP pullover,
> >> A sovvy ring and a stolen Nova,
> >> They fell in love when he muff dove 'er,
> >> The day the muckers thrived....
> >>
> >> And they were singin'........
> >> Bye bye, eatin' Fraye Bentos pie
> >> Drove the Uno roon' the toon oh wi' the techno up high,
> >> Wearing wooly bunnets though it's nearly July
> >> Singin', "There's that posh wee c**t fae Milngavie!"
> >> "There's thatposh wee c**t fae Milngavie!
> >>
> >>
> >> Now for ten years you've been on the dole,
> >> Hingin' aboot at the Paisley Toll,
> >> And that's just how it's always been.
> >> When the mucker screamed at the Polis van,
> >> In a coat he'd stolen fae TopMan,
> >> And a fag that came from you or me.
> >> But while the cop was looking dapper,
> >> The wee bam chibbed him on the napper,
> >> Dressed all in Kappa clobber,
> >> As he shouted, "suck ma dobber!".
> >> While wee Tam stole a shirt fae 'Mark's',
> >> And Boab slashed some c**t in the park,
> >> They all buzzed petrol in the dark,
> >> The day the Mucker thrived....
> >>
> >>
> >> And they were singin'........
> >> Bye bye, eatin' Fraye Bentos pie
> >> Drove the Uno roon' the toon oh wi' the techno up high,
> >> Wearing wooly bunnets though it's nearly July
> >> Singin', "There's that posh wee c**t fae Milngavie!"
> >> "There's thatposh wee c**t fae Milngavie!
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> Helter Skelter, if the wean cries belt 'er
> >> Writing menshies on the old bus shelter,
> >> Eight days straight drinking Faaaaaaaaaast!
> >> Doin' six month for selling smack,
> >> The chip pan diet and the heart attack
> >> A night out at Archaos wi' the burd.
> >> The Sengas reek of cheap perfume,
> >> While name-tags jangle round the room,
> >> Each one grabs her geezzer,
> >> A fag and lemon Breezer.
> >> The lack of class is hard to hide,
> >> They cannae wait to get inside,
> >> A stair-heid winch and a door-way ride,
> >> That's how the Muckers thrive
> >>
> >> And they were singin'........
> >> Bye bye, eatin' Fraye Bentos pie
> >> Drove the Uno roon' the toon oh wi' the techno up high,
> >> Wearing wooly bunnets though it's nearly July
> >> Singin', "There's that posh wee c**t fae Milngavie!"
> >> "There's thatposh wee c**t fae Milngavie!
> >>
> >>
> >> You'll see them in their usual places,
> >> With silly hats and ugly faces,
> >> Ootside the offy acting hard.
> >> So Shug be nimble, Shug be quick,
> >> And get an ounce of speed on tick
> >> Then cut it up and sell it to yer pals.
> >> All lined up ootside the "Paki's",
> >> A rainbow of exotic trackies,
> >> Giein' abuse tae grannies,
> >> Ya f*c*ed up bunch of fannies!
> >> And as the day turns in to night,
> >> The neds maygang up to start a fight,
> >> But on their own they're soft as sh*te!
> >> I've made a Mucker cry!
> >>
> >> And they were singin'........
> >> Bye bye, eatin' Fraye Bentos pie
> >> Drove the Uno roon' the toon oh wi' the techno up high,
> >> Wearing wooly bunnets though it's nearly July
> >> Singin', "There's that posh wee c**t fae Milngavie!"
> >> "There's thatposh wee c**t fae Milngavie!
> >>
> >> (Slowly with feeling)
> >> I met a girl who sang 'The Sash', I asked about her pant moustache, But
she
> >> just told me to f*c* off!
> >> I went down to the local chippy,
> >> Where the Neds hung out and the staff were nippy,
> >> And the muckers there harassed me for some fags.
> >> Baseball hats at stupid angles,
> >> The girls each wore three dozen bangles,
> >> Hair done up with scrunchies,
> >> Munching crisps and Crunchies.
> >> But the three meals they enjoy the most,
> >> Are chinky, chippy, beans on toast,
> >> Come Glasgow fair they hit the coast,
> >> The day the mucker thrived
> >>
> >> And they were singin'........
> >> Bye bye, eatin' Fraye Bentos pie
> >> Drove the Uno roon' the toon oh wi' the techno up high,
> >> Wearing wooly bunnets though it's nearly July
> >> Singin', "There's that posh wee c**t fae Milngavie!"
> >> "There's thatposh wee c**t fae Milngavie!
> >
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