[JOKES] Vic: Adminut !
ami 1 admin ot njakakwo tezhko mjasto go hwanali prestypnici i 3 dena boj da kazhe parolata. na 4-tija specchasti go oswobodili, i se razchulo do masinfo-to za admina kojto 3 dena go bili i ne kazal parolata. pokanili go w njakakwo tv predawane (da rechem show-to na slavi;) i dyra-byra kak wi biha, kak wi otwljakoha kak wi oswobodiha, radwate li se che ste zhiw e.t.c. nakraja wodeshtijat kazal: "W zakljuchenie, bihte li kazali neshto na washite mladi fenowe-administratori?" "Da,", izrekyl admina s poduta usta, i, otprawjajki zacherweni podut pogled kym kamerata, w edyr plan profuflil: "Za boga, pomnete naizust parolite, che mnogo bijat!" ------- Dipl.-Ing. Christo Braykoff Lehrstuhl fØr Maschinenelemente, Wissenschaftl. Mitarbeiter Forschungsstelle fØr ZahnrÄder Tel.: 089 / 289 15 837 und Getriebebau (FZG)-TU MØnchen Fax.: 089 / 289 15 808 Boltzmannstr. 15 e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED] 85748 GARCHING =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] windows2000 source code =')
/* Source Code to Windows 2000 */
#include "win31.h"
#include "win95.h"
#include "win98.h"
#include "workst~1.h"
#include "evenmore.h"
#include "oldstuff.h"
#include "billrulz.h"
#include "monopoly.h"
#define INSTALL = HARD
char make_prog_look_big[160];
void main()
{
while(!CRASHED) {
display_copyright_message();
display_bill_rules_message();
do_nothing_loop();
if (first_time_installation)
{
make_500_megabyte_swapfile();
do_nothing_loop();
totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
make_futile_attempt_to_damage_Linux();
disable_Netscape();
disable_CosmoPlayer();
disable_RealPlayer();
disable_Lotus_Products();
hang_system();
}
write_something(anything);
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
do_some_stuff();
if (still_not_crashed)
{
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
basically_run_windows_3.1();
do_nothing_loop();
}
}
if (detect_cache()) disable_cache();
if (fast_cpu()) {
set_wait_states(lots);
set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
set_mouse(action, jumpy);
set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
}
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.1");*/
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows NT 3.0"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 98"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows NT 4.0"); */
printf("Welcome to Windows 2000");
if (system_ok())
crash(to_dos_prompt)
else
system_memory = open("a:swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);
while(something) {
sleep(5);
get_user_input();
sleep(5);
act_on_user_input();
sleep(5);
}
create_general_protection_fault();
return to_dos /* please ! */
}
;;
EOF
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* PLEASE do not post offensive jokes
* message size limit is 150 KB
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Re: [JOKES] Date: Mon, 18 Nov 2002 11:14:40 +0200
http://fun.from.hell.pl/2002-11-15/amd.jpg В третий раз проводился опрос среди женщин "какой механический возбуди- тель является самым эфективным". Как и в прошлом году, с большим отрывом победил 600-й Мерседес.
Re: [JOKES]
http://csnserv.zapto.org/funnyswf/ayb4.swf
[JOKES] Sluchka..
Ранна есен. Хлапетата са наизвадили велосипедите и карат навсякъде, без да се съобразяват с пътя. На кръстовището - червен светофар. Последна стои "Нива". Отдолу се задава на своя двуколесен педален кон дете на около 7 години. Малчугана отворил уста от въсторг, очите опулил, с две думи, със сила се вряза отзад в "Нива"-та. Разбира се, с грохот се просва на земята, ранява се не особено силнмо, цицини, драскотини ... Е, всичко е ясно, кат-аджии, "Бърза помощ" ... Лекарката маже хлапето с някакво зелено вещество, то реве с пълно гърло. Докторката го забаламосва със странични въпроси от типа "къде работи майка ти?". Последният въпрос, който му задава, е: - Какъв искаш да станеш, като пораснеш? Лапето, през сълзи и сополи: - Шофьор на КАМАЗ (тежкотоварен камион, за тези родени след 1985 г. :) Шофьорът на "Нива"-та, в искрен ужас: - Баси, да не дава Бог да го доживеем ...
[JOKES] [jokes]
http://kringles.mondominishows.com/presents.asp?affil=fan&speed=low
[JOKES] [jokes]
http://www.condoms.au.com/positions/positions.html
[JOKES] @Jockes@
Top Ten He Said She Said jokes 10) He said ... I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. She said .. You wear pants, don't you? 9) She said ... What do you mean by coming home half drunk? He said ... It's not my fault ... I ran out of money. 8) He said ... Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you really badly. She said ... Well, you succeeded. 7) He said... 'Two inches more, and I would be king' She said...'Two inches less, and you'd be queen' 6) On wall in ladies room: "My husband follows me everywhere..' Written just below it: "I do not." 5) He said... "Shall we try swapping positions tonight?" She said..."That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart." 4) Priest... 'I don't think you will ever find another man like your late husband.' She said...'Who's gonna look?' 3) He said.. What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? She said ... Turn sideways and look in the mirror you fat bastard. 2) He said .. Let's go out and have some fun tonight. She said ... Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hall light on. 1) He said ... Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm? She said ... I would, but you're never there
[JOKES] Johnie be good
http://home.in.tum.de/~marinovd/gallery_view.php?gallery=Radev+%26+Johnnie+-+%3CB%3ENEU%21%21%21%3CB%3E
[JOKES] game
http://viral.lycos.co.uk/games/condomgame.swf
[JOKES] game 2
http://www.lemonbovril.co.uk/bushspeech/game.html
[JOKES] ICQ
http://www.madalf.ru/temp/lol/myicq.jpg
[JOKES] Soccer field or ... :o)
Za Info na tezi, koito ne znajat (poneje Boris ne e pojasnil): Tova Igriste se namira v Olympiapark v Munchen i e srestu staduiona na Bayern Munchen. - Original Message - From: "Boris Chervenkov" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: Sent: Friday, August 22, 2003 3:00 PM Subject: *SPAM* [JOKES] Soccer field or ... :o) > This mail is probably spam. The original message has been attached > along with this report, so you can recognize or block similar unwanted > mail in future. See http://spamassassin.org/tag/ for more details. > > Content preview: --_=_NextPart_002_01C368AD.6799FAE2 Content-Type: > text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: > quoted-printable --_=_NextPart_002_01C368AD.6799FAE2 Content-Type: > text/html; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable > [...] > > Content analysis details: (7.70 points, 5 required) > X_LIST_UNSUBSCRIBE (4.3 points) Message has X-List-Unsubscribe header > EXTRA_MPART_TYPE (0.5 points) Message with extraneous Content-type:...type= header > UNDISC_RECIPS (1.4 points) Valid-looking To "undisclosed-recipients" > HTML_MESSAGE (0.1 points) BODY: HTML included in message > HTML_IMAGE_ONLY_08 (0.9 points) BODY: HTML has images with 600-800 bytes of words > HTML_FONT_COLOR_BLUE (0.1 points) BODY: HTML font color is blue > HTML_70_80 (0.4 points) BODY: Message is 70% to 80% HTML > > The original message did not contain plain text, and may be unsafe to > open with some email clients; in particular, it may contain a virus, > or confirm that your address can receive spam. If you wish to view > it, it may be safer to save it to a file and open it with an editor. > > =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
