reseller program.
But why wave goodbye to your arms? Well, Tapux only accepts input
of a certain kind. You see, you have to tap in the commands in a
Morse code based syntax. WITH YOUR NOSE. That's what the oversized
space bar is for. Arms of course just get in the way of the critical
'tapping'. Tell me, do woodpecker's have arms? Of course not.
Trust me, in trials we have found that people can get up a
fair head of steam, if you'll excuse the pun, without the
hindrance of arms. You'll immediately get all that desk space
back that those arms would otherwise have taken up. I can tell
you it's quite a sight to see all those heads vibrating away at
those 'keyboards' as they operate Tapux!
Thanks to our radical NosePrint(TM) technology all security
problems are solved in one fell swoop (of the head!).
The installation 'Noseferatu' is wonderfully inconsistent
too. We've ensured it will give you nightmares, or rather
delicious technical challenges.
In the 'pro' version' of Tapux there will be no drivers for
graphics cards supplied. This solves a *lot* of problems that
otherwise plague standard Linux distributions. Flaky X installations,
obscene amounts of memory used just to run a desktop clock, etc.
In fact you don't even need to bother with a monitor at all,
as the release version will dispense with the console too.
People simply get too comfortable and lazy with the bash commands.
So either way, you are saving money straight away.
Early experiments with beta testers of the pro version indicate
that it is best operated in *complete* darkness. With the
brightness on the monitor turned *way* down. Advanced users will
soon learn to turn the monitor off altogether.
Lets face it using the command line really is far too easy.
The real clincher for the standard 'monitor' edition though,
will certainly be a feature unique to Tapux.
Each time a user 'taps' in characters, they are automatically
'scrambled' by the OS. Even though they appear on the screen
OK. So as you nod away and tap in a command (remember to look
up! Now you see the advantage of the Pro version) The command
will be accepted.
But the *next time* you tap in the command it will be rejected!
The underlying OS will no longer recognise it. This is great.
It means that from one day to the next you've no idea what the
commands are, what they mean, or even if they will work!
A true intellectual challenge for those who aren't quite ready
to dispense with their monitors just yet.
In fact with Tapux even when a user smart enough to crack
the system actually becomes productive, the system will use
its advanced heuristics and neural net methodologies to
'wipe' it's own learning.
When Tapux enters this mode the user will realise with mounting
euphoria that his system will shortly reset itself, and he
can learn a whole bunch of new commands *all over again*.
The logo for Tapux by the way will be Tux, but *without*
the flippers. I'm sure children will respond to a love-able
Penguin with no 'arms'. The 'professional' edition will see Tux
sporting one of those nice canvas jackets that fasten around
the back. This will appeal to more serious users and the
corporate market.
T-shirts will be available as a free promotion from our
site: http://www.tapux.com
These feature our specially adapted Tux and a choice of slogans:
"Tapux: Keeps your nose to the grindstone"
"Tapux: Command line's are for Wimps"
"Tapux: Why make it easy?"
"Tapux: Embrace your future"
"Tapux: It just runs and runs"
"Tapux: I did inhale!"
'Real' hackers will love it. I even hope to attract users that
would otherwise use Windows, or even a Mac. They may finally
see the light. In this way I'll be doing my bit for the Linux
community.
Finally, please ignore the review of a beta Tapux that was featured
on Slashdot, the review was called "Tapux. Best kept at arms length".
That was an early release. Tapux is now much improved, and has never
been harder to use.
Keep an eye out for Tapux. I just know it's going to be a big-seller.
Regards,
Martin Curran
--
Melinda: You Ok honey..? It's the dream again isn't it?
Bill:Uh, yeah.. It's the penguin. Damn that penguin!
