Forwarding a post.
Harish Kotian
- Original Message -
From: Manish Agarwal manish.agarwal...@gmail.com
To: har...@accessindia.org.in
Sent: Saturday, January 31, 2015 10:08 PM
Subject: sir,pls if appropriate fwd it to the list.
When Your Partner Becomes Visually Impaired ...
Helpful Insights and Tips for Coping
by Carol J. Sussman-Skalka, CSW, MBA
(Inside front cover)
Firsthand feedback about the value of support groups
The group is a lifesaver. What we discuss really
helps ... coming up with some of the solutions to
some of the problems.
Being in this group makes you think about what
you're doing and where you're going. We can help
and learn from each other.
Hearing the concerns of others, talking about the
guilt -- just knowing that other people have the same concerns, same
anxieties, and
knowing you are not
alone is helpful.
The Program for Partners Project was funded by the Grotta Foundation
for Senior Care
and the Wallerstein Foundation
for Geriatric Life Improvement.
(page 1)
First Steps
When your spouse or partner becomes visually impaired, both of you are
likely to feel
overwhelmed. You also may experience a range
of feelings, from sadness to guilt, and there are many day-to-day
adjustments to make. It's
hard to know where to begin -- or how to access information about
vision conditions,
treatment options,
help and resources.
Vision rehabilitation services -- which include techniques for
accomplishing daily tasks
and resuming leisure activities, as well as emotional support --
can make an important difference in the lives of people with vision
loss, particularly in
their ability to regain independence. Encouragement from family and
friends also can be
vital in supporting their participation in these training programs.
While you can play a key role during the rehabilitation process, you
undoubtedly
have many adjustments and concerns of your own. You may find yourself
putting
aside your feelings and needs to focus on helping your partner cope.
Yet, in many cases,
you may feel alone and at a loss about what to do or how to help. As
one couple shared,
Vision loss happened to us.
You also can benefit from programs to better understand your
situation, get support for
your own emotional needs, and learn about relevant resources and
services. Although
your specific concerns may differ based on the extent of your
partner's vision loss -- and
how long you've been dealing with it -- you have many common issues with
other
sighted partners.
Some of the most frequently expressed concerns and feelings are
discussed on the
following pages. They include: understanding what your partner can see and
do,
communicating successfully, relating to family and friends, dealing
with independence
and dependence issues, appreciating the benefits of vision
rehabilitation and handling
stress. We hope that this resource will provide support and
information to help you cope
better, and will, in turn, create a more positive quality of life for
both you and your
partner.
(Page 2)
Share Your Feelings:
You're Not Alone
When your partner becomes visually impaired, you may experience many
different
emotions, including fear, guilt, anger and frustration. These feelings
can be hard to admit
or accept, because they are commonly perceived as negative. It may
help to keep in mind
that feelings are neither right nor wrong. However, feelings can get
in the way of your
relationship with your partner if they are not recognized or understood.
Guilt
One of the most commonly expressed emotions,
guilt can appear in many forms. It may drive you
to take on unwanted responsibilities. As one partner reluctantly
admitted, I don't like
reading financial statements, but I do it because I feel guilty.
Others experience guilt
when they forget that their partners can't see things or expect that
they should be able to
see something because they saw it before. You also may feel guilty
about taking time for
yourself. And guilt may arise
when you can't meet an immediate need or have to refuse
a request. One wife said poignantly, If I can't take him
somewhere, I feel guilty because he depends on me to get out.
Remember that you're not alone. Your partner probably feels guilt as
well -- most likely about the additional burdens and responsibilities
being placed on you.
It is interesting to note that guilt is defined as remorse for doing
something wrong.
Therefore, people may say they feel guilty, when actually they
are experiencing regret, wishing that the situation in which they find
themselves was
different (Schmall et al., 2000). Talking with your partner about
guilt may bring some
relief. By learning that you both have
similar emotions, you can each develop a better appreciation for the
other's position.
(sidebar)
If I can't take him somewhere, I feel guilty because he depends on me
to get out.
(page 3)
Fear
Fear, another frequently expressed feeling, often stems from wondering
whether vision
loss will get worse: Will my
