Re: Friday Humor - Understanding Engineers
** When I went to work in the OU Engineering college back in 1992 they 'issued' me a set of Engineer and Lawyer jokes. (Did you know they are natural enemies?) These were in the Engineer set :) Good memory to read them again. Kelly DeaverL-3 Stratis / FAA Contractor kdea...@kellydeaver.com (ARSlist mail)kelly.ctr.dea...@faa.gov(Business mail) Original Message Subject: Friday Humor - Understanding EngineersFrom: Robert Dalton barc...@cox.netDate: Fri, April 22, 2011 6:39 pmTo: arslist@ARSLIST.ORGIs It possible to understand Engineers? Where there's a will, there's a wayUnderstanding Engineers #1Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice, The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."Understanding Engineers #2To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.Understanding Engineers #3 A priest, an ophthalmologist, and an engineer were golfing one morning behind a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!" The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello, George. What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen.They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we let them play for free anytime." The group fell silent for a moment. Then the priest said, "That's so sad. I think I'll say a special prayer for them." The ophthalmologist added, "Good idea. And maybe I could examine them to see if there's anything I can do for them." They were silent for a moment. Then the engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?" Understanding Engineers #4What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons.Civil engineers build targets.Understanding Engineers #5The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"The graduate with accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"Understanding Engineers #6Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.Understanding Engineers #7An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want." Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm a busy engineer.I don't have time for a girlfriend. But a talking frog, now that's cool!"___UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.orgattend wwrug11 www.wwrug.com ARSList: "Where the Answers Are" _attend WWRUG11 www.wwrug.com ARSlist: "Where the Answers Are"_
Re: Friday Humor - Understanding Engineers
Loved the frog and that is sooo true! From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:arslist@ARSLIST.ORG] On Behalf Of Kelly Deaver Sent: Monday, April 25, 2011 6:14 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: Friday Humor - Understanding Engineers ** When I went to work in the OU Engineering college back in 1992 they 'issued' me a set of Engineer and Lawyer jokes. (Did you know they are natural enemies?) These were in the Engineer set :) Good memory to read them again. Kelly Deaver L-3 Stratis / FAA Contractor kdea...@kellydeaver.com (ARSlist mail) kelly.ctr.dea...@faa.gov (Business mail) Original Message Subject: Friday Humor - Understanding Engineers From: Robert Dalton barc...@cox.net Date: Fri, April 22, 2011 6:39 pm To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Is It possible to understand Engineers? Where there's a will, there's a way Understanding Engineers #1 Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, Where did you get such a great bike? The second engineer replied, Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, Take what you want. The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, Good choice, The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway. Understanding Engineers #2 To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. Understanding Engineers #3 A priest, an ophthalmologist, and an engineer were golfing one morning behind a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes! The doctor chimed in, I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf! The priest said, Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him. He said, Hello, George. What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they? The greens keeper replied, Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we let them play for free anytime. The group fell silent for a moment. Then the priest said, That's so sad. I think I'll say a special prayer for them. The ophthalmologist added, Good idea. And maybe I could examine them to see if there's anything I can do for them. They were silent for a moment. Then the engineer said, Why can't they play at night? Understanding Engineers #4 What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets. Understanding Engineers #5 The graduate with a science degree asks, Why does it work? The graduate with an engineering degree asks, How does it work? The graduate with accounting degree asks, How much will it cost? The graduate with an arts degree asks, Do you want fries with that? Understanding Engineers #6 Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet. Understanding Engineers #7 An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess. He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week. The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me? The engineer said, Look, I'm a busy engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend. But a talking frog, now that's cool! ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org attend wwrug11 www.wwrug.com ARSList: Where the Answers Are _attend WWRUG11 www.wwrug.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are_ ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives
Re: Friday Humor - Understanding Engineers
Kellywhich OU? On Mon, Apr 25, 2011 at 9:14 AM, Kelly Deaver kdea...@kellydeaver.comwrote: ** When I went to work in the OU Engineering college back in 1992 they 'issued' me a set of Engineer and Lawyer jokes. (Did you know they are natural enemies?) These were in the Engineer set :) Good memory to read them again. Kelly Deaver L-3 Stratis / FAA Contractor kdea...@kellydeaver.com (ARSlist mail) kelly.ctr.dea...@faa.gov (Business mail) Original Message Subject: Friday Humor - Understanding Engineers From: Robert Dalton barc...@cox.net Date: Fri, April 22, 2011 6:39 pm To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Is It possible to understand Engineers? Where there's a will, there's a way Understanding Engineers #1 Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, Where did you get such a great bike? The second engineer replied, Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, Take what you want. The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, Good choice, The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway. Understanding Engineers #2 To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. Understanding Engineers #3 A priest, an ophthalmologist, and an engineer were golfing one morning behind a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes! The doctor chimed in, I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf! The priest said, Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him. He said, Hello, George. What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they? The greens keeper replied, Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we let them play for free anytime. The group fell silent for a moment. Then the priest said, That's so sad. I think I'll say a special prayer for them. The ophthalmologist added, Good idea. And maybe I could examine them to see if there's anything I can do for them. They were silent for a moment. Then the engineer said, Why can't they play at night? Understanding Engineers #4 What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets. Understanding Engineers #5 The graduate with a science degree asks, Why does it work? The graduate with an engineering degree asks, How does it work? The graduate with accounting degree asks, How much will it cost? The graduate with an arts degree asks, Do you want fries with that? Understanding Engineers #6 Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet. Understanding Engineers #7 An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess. He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week. The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me? The engineer said, Look, I'm a busy engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend. But a talking frog, now that's cool! ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org attend wwrug11 www.wwrug.com ARSList: Where the Answers Are _attend WWRUG11 www.wwrug.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are_ -- Warren R. Baltimore II Remedy Developer 410-533-5367 ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org attend wwrug11 www.wwrug.com ARSList: Where the Answers Are
Re: Friday Humor - Understanding Engineers
** Oklahoma University :) This is only one OU (in our minds) LOL Kelly DeaverL-3 Stratis / FAA Contractor kdea...@kellydeaver.com (ARSlist mail)kelly.ctr.dea...@faa.gov(Business mail) Original Message Subject: Re: Friday Humor - Understanding EngineersFrom: "Warren R. Baltimore II" warrenbaltim...@gmail.comDate: Mon, April 25, 2011 11:03 amTo: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG** Kellywhich OU? On Mon, Apr 25, 2011 at 9:14 AM, Kelly Deaver kdea...@kellydeaver.comwrote: ** When I went to work in the OU Engineering college back in 1992 they 'issued' me a set of Engineer and Lawyer jokes. (Did you know they are natural enemies?) These were in the Engineer set :) Good memory to read them again. Kelly DeaverL-3 Stratis / FAA Contractor kdea...@kellydeaver.com(ARSlist mail)kelly.ctr.dea...@faa.gov(Business mail) Original Message Subject: Friday Humor - Understanding EngineersFrom: Robert Dalton barc...@cox.netDate: Fri, April 22, 2011 6:39 pmTo: arslist@ARSLIST.ORGIs It possible to understand Engineers? Where there's a will, there's a wayUnderstanding Engineers #1Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice, The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."Understanding Engineers #2To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.Understanding Engineers #3 A priest, an ophthalmologist, and an engineer were golfing one morning behind a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!" The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello, George. What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen.They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we let them play for free anytime." The group fell silent for a moment. Then the priest said, "That's so sad. I think I'll say a special prayer for them." The ophthalmologist added, "Good idea. And maybe I could examine them to see if there's anything I can do for them." They were silent for a moment. Then the engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?" Understanding Engineers #4What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons.Civil engineers build targets.Understanding Engineers #5The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"The graduate with accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"Understanding Engineers #6Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.Understanding Engineers #7An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want." Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm a busy engineer.I don't have time for a girlfriend. But a talking frog, now that's cool!"___UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.orgattend wwrug11 www.wwrug.comARSList: "Where the Answers Are"_attend WWRUG11 www.wwrug.comARSlist: "Where the Answers Are"_ -- Warren R. Baltimore IIRemedy Developer410-533-5367_attend WWRUG11 www.wwrug.com ARSlist: "Where the Answers Are"_ _attend WWRUG11 www.wwrug.com ARSlist: "Where the Answers Are"_
Re: Friday Humor - Understanding Engineers
And next time we all have an excuse for breaking something that wasn’t already broken :-) We were simply trying to add some more features! Joe From: Pargeter, Christie :CO IS Sent: Monday, April 25, 2011 10:40 AM Newsgroups: public.remedy.arsystem.general To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: Friday Humor - Understanding Engineers ** Loved the frog and that is sooo true! From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:arslist@ARSLIST.ORG] On Behalf Of Kelly Deaver Sent: Monday, April 25, 2011 6:14 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: Friday Humor - Understanding Engineers ** When I went to work in the OU Engineering college back in 1992 they 'issued' me a set of Engineer and Lawyer jokes. (Did you know they are natural enemies?) These were in the Engineer set :) Good memory to read them again. Kelly Deaver L-3 Stratis / FAA Contractor kdea...@kellydeaver.com (ARSlist mail) kelly.ctr.dea...@faa.gov (Business mail) Original Message Subject: Friday Humor - Understanding Engineers From: Robert Dalton barc...@cox.net Date: Fri, April 22, 2011 6:39 pm To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Is It possible to understand Engineers? Where there's a will, there's a way Understanding Engineers #1 Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, Where did you get such a great bike? The second engineer replied, Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, Take what you want. The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, Good choice, The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway. Understanding Engineers #2 To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. Understanding Engineers #3 A priest, an ophthalmologist, and an engineer were golfing one morning behind a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes! The doctor chimed in, I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf! The priest said, Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him. He said, Hello, George. What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they? The greens keeper replied, Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we let them play for free anytime. The group fell silent for a moment. Then the priest said, That's so sad. I think I'll say a special prayer for them. The ophthalmologist added, Good idea. And maybe I could examine them to see if there's anything I can do for them. They were silent for a moment. Then the engineer said, Why can't they play at night? Understanding Engineers #4 What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets. Understanding Engineers #5 The graduate with a science degree asks, Why does it work? The graduate with an engineering degree asks, How does it work? The graduate with accounting degree asks, How much will it cost? The graduate with an arts degree asks, Do you want fries with that? Understanding Engineers #6 Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet. Understanding Engineers #7 An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess. He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week. The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me? The engineer said, Look, I'm a busy engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend. But a talking frog, now that's cool! ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org attend wwrug11 www.wwrug.com ARSList: Where the Answers Are _attend WWRUG11 www.wwrug.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are_ _attend WWRUG11 www.wwrug.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are_
Re: Friday Humor - Understanding Engineers
Next Time? - Original Message - From: Joe Martin D'Souza Newsgroups: public.remedy.arsystem.general To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Sent: Monday, April 25, 2011 1:00 PM Subject: Re: Friday Humor - Understanding Engineers ** And next time we all have an excuse for breaking something that wasn’t already broken :-) We were simply trying to add some more features! Joe From: Pargeter, Christie :CO IS Sent: Monday, April 25, 2011 10:40 AM Newsgroups: public.remedy.arsystem.general To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: Friday Humor - Understanding Engineers ** Loved the frog and that is sooo true! -- From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:arslist@ARSLIST.ORG] On Behalf Of Kelly Deaver Sent: Monday, April 25, 2011 6:14 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: Friday Humor - Understanding Engineers ** When I went to work in the OU Engineering college back in 1992 they 'issued' me a set of Engineer and Lawyer jokes. (Did you know they are natural enemies?) These were in the Engineer set :) Good memory to read them again. Kelly Deaver L-3 Stratis / FAA Contractor kdea...@kellydeaver.com (ARSlist mail) kelly.ctr.dea...@faa.gov (Business mail) Original Message Subject: Friday Humor - Understanding Engineers From: Robert Dalton barc...@cox.net Date: Fri, April 22, 2011 6:39 pm To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Is It possible to understand Engineers? Where there's a will, there's a way Understanding Engineers #1 Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, Where did you get such a great bike? The second engineer replied, Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, Take what you want. The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, Good choice, The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway. Understanding Engineers #2 To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. Understanding Engineers #3 A priest, an ophthalmologist, and an engineer were golfing one morning behind a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes! The doctor chimed in, I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf! The priest said, Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him. He said, Hello, George. What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they? The greens keeper replied, Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we let them play for free anytime. The group fell silent for a moment. Then the priest said, That's so sad. I think I'll say a special prayer for them. The ophthalmologist added, Good idea. And maybe I could examine them to see if there's anything I can do for them. They were silent for a moment. Then the engineer said, Why can't they play at night? Understanding Engineers #4 What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets. Understanding Engineers #5 The graduate with a science degree asks, Why does it work? The graduate with an engineering degree asks, How does it work? The graduate with accounting degree asks, How much will it cost? The graduate with an arts degree asks, Do you want fries with that? Understanding Engineers #6 Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet. Understanding Engineers #7 An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess. He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week. The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me? The engineer said, Look, I'm a busy engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend. But a talking frog, now that's cool
Re: Friday Humor - Understanding Engineers
Shhh politely with a :-) From: Ken Pritchard Sent: Sunday, April 24, 2011 1:19 PM Newsgroups: public.remedy.arsystem.general To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: Friday Humor - Understanding Engineers ** Next Time? - Original Message - From: Joe Martin D'Souza Newsgroups: public.remedy.arsystem.general To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Sent: Monday, April 25, 2011 1:00 PM Subject: Re: Friday Humor - Understanding Engineers ** And next time we all have an excuse for breaking something that wasn’t already broken :-) We were simply trying to add some more features! Joe From: Pargeter, Christie :CO IS Sent: Monday, April 25, 2011 10:40 AM Newsgroups: public.remedy.arsystem.general To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: Friday Humor - Understanding Engineers ** Loved the frog and that is sooo true! -- From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:arslist@ARSLIST.ORG] On Behalf Of Kelly Deaver Sent: Monday, April 25, 2011 6:14 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: Friday Humor - Understanding Engineers ** When I went to work in the OU Engineering college back in 1992 they 'issued' me a set of Engineer and Lawyer jokes. (Did you know they are natural enemies?) These were in the Engineer set :) Good memory to read them again. Kelly Deaver L-3 Stratis / FAA Contractor kdea...@kellydeaver.com (ARSlist mail) kelly.ctr.dea...@faa.gov (Business mail) Original Message Subject: Friday Humor - Understanding Engineers From: Robert Dalton barc...@cox.net Date: Fri, April 22, 2011 6:39 pm To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Is It possible to understand Engineers? Where there's a will, there's a way Understanding Engineers #1 Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, Where did you get such a great bike? The second engineer replied, Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, Take what you want. The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, Good choice, The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway. Understanding Engineers #2 To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. Understanding Engineers #3 A priest, an ophthalmologist, and an engineer were golfing one morning behind a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes! The doctor chimed in, I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf! The priest said, Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him. He said, Hello, George. What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they? The greens keeper replied, Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we let them play for free anytime. The group fell silent for a moment. Then the priest said, That's so sad. I think I'll say a special prayer for them. The ophthalmologist added, Good idea. And maybe I could examine them to see if there's anything I can do for them. They were silent for a moment. Then the engineer said, Why can't they play at night? Understanding Engineers #4 What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets. Understanding Engineers #5 The graduate with a science degree asks, Why does it work? The graduate with an engineering degree asks, How does it work? The graduate with accounting degree asks, How much will it cost? The graduate with an arts degree asks, Do you want fries with that? Understanding Engineers #6 Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet. Understanding Engineers #7 An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess. He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week. The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week
Re: Friday Humor: Understanding Engineers...
normal people laugh ... the engineer says:three is missing !! ;-) Siti Hawa Bee SHAIK FARID a écrit : ** Hi Joe..err...missing Take Three. *hee *From:* Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] *On Behalf Of *Joe D'Souza *Sent:* Saturday, January 26, 2008 09:38 *To:* arslist@ARSLIST.ORG *Subject:* Friday Humor: Understanding Engineers... ** _*Understanding Engineers - Take One*_ Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, Where did you get such a great bike? The second engineer replied, Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, Take what you want. The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway. _*Understanding Engineers - Take Two*_ To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. _*Understanding Engineers - Take Four*_ What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets. _*Understanding Engineers - Take Five*_ The graduate with a science degree asks, Why does it work? The graduate with an engineering degree asks, How does it work? The graduate with an accounting degree asks, How much will it cost? The graduate with an arts degree asks, Do you want fries with that? _*Understanding Engineers - Take Six*_ Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints. Another said, No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections. The last one said, No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area? _*Understanding Engineers - Take Seven*_ Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet. _*Understanding Engineers - Take Eight*_ An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess. He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week. The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, If you kiss me and turn me back into a Princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want. Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me? The engineer said, Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool!! /*Joe D'Souza*/ __Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are html___ UOB EMAIL DISCLAIMER Any person receiving this email and any attachment(s) contained, shall treat the information as confidential and not misuse, copy, disclose, distribute or retain the information in any way that amounts to a breach of confidentiality. If you are not the intended recipient, please delete all copies of this email from your computer system. As the integrity of this message cannot be guaranteed, neither UOB nor any entity in the UOB Group shall be responsible for the contents. Any opinion in this email may not necessarily represent the opinion of UOB or any entity in the UOB Group. __Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are html___ ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are
Re: Friday Humor: Understanding Engineers...
I have absolutely no idea Siti.. didn't even notice 3 was missing! Maybe I'm normal after all then :-) Joe -Original Message- From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Behalf Of Remedy Maniac Sent: Saturday, January 26, 2008 8:51 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: Friday Humor: Understanding Engineers... normal people laugh ... the engineer says:three is missing !! ;-) Siti Hawa Bee SHAIK FARID a écrit : ** Hi Joe..err...missing Take Three. *hee *From:* Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] *On Behalf Of *Joe D'Souza *Sent:* Saturday, January 26, 2008 09:38 *To:* arslist@ARSLIST.ORG *Subject:* Friday Humor: Understanding Engineers... ** _*Understanding Engineers - Take One*_ Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, Where did you get such a great bike? The second engineer replied, Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, Take what you want. The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway. _*Understanding Engineers - Take Two*_ To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. _*Understanding Engineers - Take Four*_ What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets. _*Understanding Engineers - Take Five*_ The graduate with a science degree asks, Why does it work? The graduate with an engineering degree asks, How does it work? The graduate with an accounting degree asks, How much will it cost? The graduate with an arts degree asks, Do you want fries with that? _*Understanding Engineers - Take Six*_ Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints. Another said, No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections. The last one said, No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area? _*Understanding Engineers - Take Seven*_ Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet. _*Understanding Engineers - Take Eight*_ An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess. He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week. The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, If you kiss me and turn me back into a Princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want. Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me? The engineer said, Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool!! /*Joe D'Souza*/ __Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are html___ UOB EMAIL DISCLAIMER Any person receiving this email and any attachment(s) contained, shall treat the information as confidential and not misuse, copy, disclose, distribute or retain the information in any way that amounts to a breach of confidentiality. If you are not the intended recipient, please delete all copies of this email from your computer system. As the integrity of this message cannot be guaranteed, neither UOB nor any entity in the UOB Group shall be responsible for the contents. Any opinion in this email may not necessarily represent the opinion of UOB or any entity in the UOB Group. __Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are html___ No virus found in this outgoing message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.5.516 / Virus Database: 269.19.11/1244 - Release Date: 1/25/2008 7:44 PM ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are
Re: Friday Humor: Understanding Engineers...
Hi Joe..err...missing Take Three. *hee _ From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Joe D'Souza Sent: Saturday, January 26, 2008 09:38 To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Friday Humor: Understanding Engineers... ** Understanding Engineers - Take One Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, Where did you get such a great bike? The second engineer replied, Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, Take what you want. The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway. Understanding Engineers - Take Two To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. Understanding Engineers - Take Four What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets. Understanding Engineers - Take Five The graduate with a science degree asks, Why does it work? The graduate with an engineering degree asks, How does it work? The graduate with an accounting degree asks, How much will it cost? The graduate with an arts degree asks, Do you want fries with that? Understanding Engineers - Take Six Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints. Another said, No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections. The last one said, No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area? Understanding Engineers - Take Seven Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet. Understanding Engineers - Take Eight An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess. He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week. The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, If you kiss me and turn me back into a Princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want. Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me? The engineer said, Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool!! Joe D'Souza __Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are html___ UOB EMAIL DISCLAIMER Any person receiving this email and any attachment(s) contained, shall treat the information as confidential and not misuse, copy, disclose, distribute or retain the information in any way that amounts to a breach of confidentiality. If you are not the intended recipient, please delete all copies of this email from your computer system. As the integrity of this message cannot be guaranteed, neither UOB nor any entity in the UOB Group shall be responsible for the contents. Any opinion in this email may not necessarily represent the opinion of UOB or any entity in the UOB Group. ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are
