Re: [Callers] mental health and dance calling

[Greg McKenzie]

Thank you Jill!  What a wonderful story!

I am going to chime in with one of my own stories.  I have been observing
the dances for years and there are many stories.  This one is not as
delightful as yours.

Years ago a man started attending a dance where I called often.  After about
a year some women complained to me that he seemed to always have whiskey on
his breath.  He also always seemed to be lost during the dances.  Some women
started avoiding him.  I decided to take some action and had a casual
conversation with him one night.  He mentioned that my calling was always
very clear but that he often got confused with other callers.  I thanked him
and mentioned--in a lighthearted way--that, for me, I get confused if I've
had one or two glassess of wine.  He didn't say anything.

He kept attending dances, but a bit less often.  About six months later
someone told me that he had committed suicide.  I have always wished I could
have handled that one a little better.  I still feel that it was a lost
opportunity.  Now I am living with a therapist so this kind of thing is much
more salient to me.

- Greg McKenzie

**

On Wed, Jul 6, 2011 at 1:05 PM, jill allen  wrote:

> We had a gentleman coming to our dances for years, who suddenly appeared
> one night ranting about the police and tasers.  He was drooling and showing
> delusional behavior, and was still dancing.  Most dancers didn't think much
> of it, but some were very upset.
>
> He continued to come to every dance, Contra and English, but when he came
> to our sweet little Family Dance and was smoking cigarettes on the sidewalk
> and greeting the children, I started feeling the need for a plan.  I talked
> with the local mental health facility and spoke to other organizers, but you
> know, what can you do?  Well, somewhat accidentally, I had about a half hour
> conversation at a dance one night with him.  We were just chatting, and
> something magic happened.  I got to know him really well.  Every time he
> came to a dance, I talked with him.  He began to trust me, and vice versa.
>  I found out that he had been care-taking for his elderly dad, who was
> living with him.  His dad recently passed away while he was away at a dance
> weekend.  He explained that his father's death and his guilt for being gone
> had triggered his mental issues.  I don't know if it helped him to make
> friends with me, but it sure helped me!  I found him to be a really sweet
> person.  I used to dr
>  ead his presence, and now I look forward to seeing him.  He is still
> coming to dances, which seems to help him.  His medications are better
> adjusted now and he blends in much better and is appropriate on the dance
> floor, for the most part.
>
> I am sure that this approach won't work for all situations, but why not
> first try going straight to the problem with accidental love and friendship.
>
> Good luck,
> Jill Allen
> ___
> Callers mailing list
> call...@sharedweight.net
> http://www.sharedweight.net/mailman/listinfo/callers
>

Re: [Callers] mental health and dance calling

[Bree Kalb]

What a lovely story, Jill.  Although I'm a mental health professional I'm 
often unsure how to include dancers with obvious problems. You've provided 
an inspiration.


Bree Kalb
Carrboro NC

-Original Message- 
From: jill allen

Sent: Wednesday, July 06, 2011 4:05 PM
To: call...@sharedweight.net
Subject: [Callers] mental health and dance calling

We had a gentleman coming to our dances for years, who suddenly appeared one 
night ranting about the police and tasers.  He was drooling and showing 
delusional behavior, and was still dancing.  Most dancers didn't think much 
of it, but some were very upset.


He continued to come to every dance, Contra and English, but when he came to 
our sweet little Family Dance and was smoking cigarettes on the sidewalk and 
greeting the children, I started feeling the need for a plan.  I talked with 
the local mental health facility and spoke to other organizers, but you 
know, what can you do?  Well, somewhat accidentally, I had about a half hour 
conversation at a dance one night with him.  We were just chatting, and 
something magic happened.  I got to know him really well.  Every time he 
came to a dance, I talked with him.  He began to trust me, and vice versa. 
I found out that he had been care-taking for his elderly dad, who was living 
with him.  His dad recently passed away while he was away at a dance 
weekend.  He explained that his father's death and his guilt for being gone 
had triggered his mental issues.  I don't know if it helped him to make 
friends with me, but it sure helped me!  I found him to be a really sweet 
person.  I used to dr
ead his presence, and now I look forward to seeing him.  He is still coming 
to dances, which seems to help him.  His medications are better adjusted now 
and he blends in much better and is appropriate on the dance floor, for the 
most part.


I am sure that this approach won't work for all situations, but why not 
first try going straight to the problem with accidental love and friendship.


Good luck,
Jill Allen