Re: Ponderisms
Or frickin' laser beams on their heads - Original Message - From: "Ben Doom" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: "CF-Community" Sent: Monday, February 18, 2008 3:09 PM Subject: Re: Ponderisms > The shark question is easy. They'd wear one of those little Christian > Fish with teeth. ~| Adobe® ColdFusion® 8 software 8 is the most important and dramatic release to date Get the Free Trial http://ad.doubleclick.net/clk;160198600;22374440;w Archive: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/CF-Community/message.cfm/messageid:254408 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/CF-Community/subscribe.cfm Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/unsubscribe.cfm?user=11502.10531.5
Re: Ponderisms
>Ponderisms > >If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, >what is baby oil made from? > For that matter if vegetarians eat only vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? ~| Adobe® ColdFusion® 8 software 8 is the most important and dramatic release to date Get the Free Trial http://ad.doubleclick.net/clk;160198600;22374440;w Archive: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/CF-Community/message.cfm/messageid:254407 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/CF-Community/subscribe.cfm Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/unsubscribe.cfm?user=11502.10531.5
Re: Ponderisms
The shark question is easy. They'd wear one of those little Christian Fish with teeth. Leprosy is harder. A golden bowl of oatmeal? Of course, I figure Jesus would have just healed himself, so --Doom Billy Cox wrote: > (here is one that really irks Christians) > > Christians wear a cross of gold to commemorate Jesus' death by crucifixion. > > What jewelry would they wear if Jesus died of leprosy or if he got eaten by > sharks? > > > -Original Message- > From: Tony [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] > Sent: Monday, February 18, 2008 12:00 PM > To: CF-Community > Subject: Re: Ponderisms > > > not sure, but i have always pondered this... > > if/when you do die, do you > > 1. come back as a fish, if you drown? > 2. come back as a bird if you die in the air? > 3. come back one eyed if lose an eye in your death? > 4. come back with a heart disease if you died that way? > > yanno what i mean? > well, first i guess you gotta believe that you MIGHT come back :) > > tw > > On 2/18/08, Erika L. Walker <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: >> Ponderisms >> Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were >> buried in for eternity? > > > > ~| Adobe® ColdFusion® 8 software 8 is the most important and dramatic release to date Get the Free Trial http://ad.doubleclick.net/clk;160198600;22374440;w Archive: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/CF-Community/message.cfm/messageid:254402 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/CF-Community/subscribe.cfm Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/unsubscribe.cfm?user=89.70.5
RE: Ponderisms
(here is one that really irks Christians) Christians wear a cross of gold to commemorate Jesus' death by crucifixion. What jewelry would they wear if Jesus died of leprosy or if he got eaten by sharks? -Original Message- From: Tony [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Monday, February 18, 2008 12:00 PM To: CF-Community Subject: Re: Ponderisms not sure, but i have always pondered this... if/when you do die, do you 1. come back as a fish, if you drown? 2. come back as a bird if you die in the air? 3. come back one eyed if lose an eye in your death? 4. come back with a heart disease if you died that way? yanno what i mean? well, first i guess you gotta believe that you MIGHT come back :) tw On 2/18/08, Erika L. Walker <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > Ponderisms > Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were > buried in for eternity? ~| Adobe® ColdFusion® 8 software 8 is the most important and dramatic release to date Get the Free Trial http://ad.doubleclick.net/clk;160198600;22374440;w Archive: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/CF-Community/message.cfm/messageid:254401 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/CF-Community/subscribe.cfm Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/unsubscribe.cfm?user=89.70.5
Re: Ponderisms
not sure, but i have always pondered this... if/when you do die, do you 1. come back as a fish, if you drown? 2. come back as a bird if you die in the air? 3. come back one eyed if lose an eye in your death? 4. come back with a heart disease if you died that way? yanno what i mean? well, first i guess you gotta believe that you MIGHT come back :) tw On 2/18/08, Erika L. Walker <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > Ponderisms > Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried > in for eternity? ~| Adobe® ColdFusion® 8 software 8 is the most important and dramatic release to date Get the Free Trial http://ad.doubleclick.net/clk;160198600;22374440;w Archive: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/CF-Community/message.cfm/messageid:254390 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/CF-Community/subscribe.cfm Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/unsubscribe.cfm?user=11502.10531.5
Re: Ponderisms
LOL! Good stuff Doomie! On 2/18/08, Ben Doom <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > > > > Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in > binoculars > > to look at things on the ground? > > Because they are stupid. > > ~| Adobe® ColdFusion® 8 software 8 is the most important and dramatic release to date Get the Free Trial http://ad.doubleclick.net/clk;160198600;22374440;w Archive: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/CF-Community/message.cfm/messageid:254389 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/CF-Community/subscribe.cfm Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/unsubscribe.cfm?user=89.70.5
Re: Ponderisms
Erika L. Walker wrote: > Ponderisms > > Can you cry under water? Yes. But you cannot cry under wear. > How important does a person have to be before they are considered > assassinated instead of just murdered? Three. > Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. But it's only a "penny for your > thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Inflation. Blame the Fed. > Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried > in for eternity? No, you wear what you wore when you died. Nelson Rockefeller will never live it down. > Why does a round pizza come in a square box? 'Cause hats are filling all the round boxes. > What disease did cured ham actually have? Porkinson's. > How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a > good idea to put wheels on luggage? No one realized how heavy luggage actually was until they tried lugging it to the moon. > Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like > every two hours? What they really meant was, "My spouse contemplated covering my face with a pillow." > If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Yes. Their translator is a hearing aide. > Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? I don't fit in TVs. I mean, I'm skinny, but not so much I fit in a plasma screen. > Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars > to look at things on the ground? Because they are stupid. > Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you > naked anyway. If I had to see me naked, I'd want to minimize exposure, too. > Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? After the first time guys take off a bra, they want it to be singular. However, panty-removal is something we want to be serial. > Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible > crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Because not all of us are decent human beings. Duh. > If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? To distract everyone while he takes your TV that is too small to fit inside. > Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ? No, but a limo with a hot tub can. > If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why > can't he fix a hole in a boat? Unlike copper wire, fiberglass is the natural enemy of the coconut palm. You need date palms to fix fiberglass. > Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both > dogs! Pluto is Goofy's bitch. I thought everyone knew that. > If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he > just buy dinner? In all of those cartoons, where was there ever a diner? > If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, > what is baby oil made from? Babies. "Smooth as a baby's butt" isn't just a saying. > If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Yes. Also see: Religious Fundamentalist. > Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? The alphabet was seriously over-budget. > Why did you just try singing the two songs above? I didn't. I succeeded at singing them. > Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call > it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? Outside the hemisphere? What the hell does that mean? I'm moreannoyed with this question. > Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, > but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? It's so you won't blow in his face. Dogs are sensible that way. --Doom ~| Adobe® ColdFusion® 8 software 8 is the most important and dramatic release to date Get the Free Trial http://ad.doubleclick.net/clk;160198600;22374440;w Archive: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/CF-Community/message.cfm/messageid:254385 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/CF-Community/subscribe.cfm Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/unsubscribe.cfm?user=11502.10531.5
Ponderisms
Ponderisms Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Why does a round pizza come in a square box? What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? ~| Adobe® ColdFusion® 8 software 8 is the most important and dramatic release to date Get the Free Trial http://ad.doubleclick.net/clk;160198600;22374440;w Archive: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/CF-Community/message.cfm/messageid:254379 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/CF-Community/subscribe.cfm Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/unsubscribe.cfm?user=89.70.5
