[Callers] Re: Tony Parkes 1949-2024

[Patricia Campbell via Contra Callers]

Would you please describe the dance Empty Shoes?

Thanks!

Patricia

Patricia Campbell
southern Maine


*Celebrating Community Through Traditional Dance and Music*



On Wed, May 8, 2024 at 5:23 PM Neal Schlein via Contra Callers <
contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:

> One of the rather idiosyncratic dance groups that I belong to has a
> specific dance that we do in memory of a recently deceased member, as well
> as all the other dancers who came and left before. We also do it at camps
> to remember anyone who can’t join us for whatever reason. The dance is
> named Empty Shoes.
>
> At a more open dance, if it is recent and the person is locally known I
> might post a note at the front table with a brief obituary and let the
> volunteers know that a dance will be dedicated at some point in the night.
>
> From the microphone, I would make the announcement one dance ahead so
> people have the chance to step out. Then keep it brief, basically to the
> extent of, “Some of you may not have heard, but XYZ person passed away
> recently.  They were a valuable part of our/the national dance community
> for many years and will be missed. The next dance is one that they
> wrote/particularly enjoyed, and I want to share it with you in their
> memory.”
>
> Neal Schlein
> Librarian, MSLIS
>
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[Callers] Re: preference for dancing with opposite gender?

[Patricia Campbell via Contra Callers]

My 2¢
I agree - it's not always homophobia that is behind the reaction -
sometimes it's entire generations of upbringing that make it extremely
difficult/awkward for some men to be in a more physically intimate space
than they usually find themselves in.
And it's one thing to do an allemande left with another man - you're not as
physically close for as long)... many men are only used to being in close
proximity with other men in a sports role or a slap on the back "hello" (in
the *American* culture - other cultures aren't anywhere near as uptight).

I think that some of the alternative swing suggestions made will go a long
way to easing the reactions - they're just less intimate, less of a
"threat" of any kind (whether cultural boundaries/homophobia/whatever).

My opinions...

Patricia

Patricia Campbell
southern ME
(she/her)


On Sun, Mar 17, 2024 at 7:24 PM Julian Blechner via Contra Callers <
contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:

> Read and JJ,
>
> This is where I tread carefully, because _all men_ (or nearly so) are
> raised with some pretty toxic beliefs doused all over them (and women, but
> they seem to do a bit better than us men at dealing with it). Sometimes
> it's hard to tell the boundary between "traditional gender roles" versus
> homophobia. And that's why it's absolutely a reason why it's a touchy
> subject.
>
> Anytime "doing X in dancing is homophobic" is brought up, it's:
> 1. Not always accurate
> 2. When it is accurate, it's just going to shut down most discussion. No
> one wants to hear their deeply ingrained societal norms and beliefs are
> bigoted, right? It's a non-starter for conversation.
>
> That said, lgbtqia folks (myself included) absolutely should talk about
> the negative effects of it (ex: Two women are split up so men can have
> partners, or the "dramatic production" JJ mentioned in their reply). It's
> critical these stories continue to be told so people can understand the
> harm that is done sometimes in the name of "tradition".
>
> But in terms of how we - as performers and organizers - look forward and
> improve things, I think if the goal is persuasiveness, it's more effective
> to let people judge for themselves whether and how their ingrained societal
> norms are homophobic or not.
>
> Changing these things is hard work and takes a long time. Gender and
> sexuality are core parts of our identities, so any discussion of it can be
> intensely personal for anyone.
>
> In dance,
> Julian Blechner
> He/him
> Western Massachusetts
>
> On Sun, Mar 17, 2024, 6:55 PM JJ  wrote:
>
>> Hi Read! I wanted to add that the times when I (a non-binary person that
>> is generally assumed to be a man) have encountered neighbor men who refuse
>> to swing with me, it has often been accompanied with either thinly-veiled
>> disgust or even an overt "ew I'm not dancing with a man." I'm so sorry that
>> you were physically assaulted, though I'm not surprised.
>>
>> I agree with Read that this is just general homophobia, and again it
>> makes me worry about the women these men are dancing with, simply because
>> they clearly don't want to "hold a man" in the same way that they are
>> "holding" all the women they neighbor/partner with.
>> Polite declining is 100% acceptable and I've never been upset by it. But
>> more often than not, men refusing to dance with me has been a rather
>> dramatic production that leaves me feeling icky. 路
>>
>>
>> On Sun, Mar 17, 2024, 11:27 Read Weaver via Contra Callers <
>> contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
>>
>>> I’m kinda doubtful about how common reason 2 is, I think most of what
>>> might superficially seem like insisting on conventional gender roles is
>>> actually (men's) homophobia—dancing with a man might make me look like a…,
>>> or the man dancing with me might be a…. (I specify men because I’ve never
>>> once lived and danced where women were exercised about this—occasionally a
>>> preference for mixed-gender, but never a strong one). The guy who assaulted
>>> me at NEFFA years ago because he came across me in the line dancing the
>>> “wrong” role didn’t do so because I was rejecting conventional gender
>>> roles, he did it because of homophobia.
>>>
>>> Read Weaver
>>> Jamaica Plain, MA
>>> http://lcfd.org
>>>
>>> > On Mar 12, 2024, at 1:36 PM, Julian Blechner via Contra Callers <
>>> contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
>>> >
>>> > ...
>>> > - So, when someone says they prefer to dance in non-genderfree dances,
>>> with a partner of a different binary-presenting gender person, in trad
>>> roles, there's 2 possible, non-exclusive reasons:
>>> > 1. That their choice is about courtship, but "make exceptions" for
>>> people you're not attracted to. Which, I guess is fine in and of itself,
>>> but I think people with this preference often may not consider _just how
>>> many exceptions_ there are.
>>> > 2. Their choice is more about embracing traditional gender roles. I'll
>>> get back to this
>>> ...
>>> 

[Callers] Re: preference for dancing with opposite gender?

[Patricia Campbell via Contra Callers]

There's a lot to unpack with all of these issues
(size/weight/age/disability/gender-attachment/historical
precedents/etc/etc/etc).

I know an older, colleague (caller) who deals with people not wanting to
dance with him (b/c of age),.
At the same time, he has no interest in dancing (mostly the swinging part)
with another man. He's okay with alternate swing holds, but really had a
hard time when someone "insisted" on ballroom hold - he just flat out said
no.

I've personally dealt with issues over the years - people who strong-arm
you; people who decide there are no boundaries; people who think it's fun
to swing you off your feet. I've never had any problem dealing with any of
the situations, but I have talked with a number of people over the years
who've left dances b/c of things like that.

That brings up the need to remind people that we all have various comfort
levels, and if someone offers an alternative hold (or way of doing a
figure) that is less "intimate", that should be honored. I know many people
who are extremely uncomfortable with a "right-shoulder-round meltdown"
(trying to remember to refrain from the term most aren't using anymore).

Back in the day (lol), callers used to offer very brief (1-2 minutes) but
important "dance etiquette" moments scattered throughout the evening - I
think it's still greatly needed. Easier to do at a family dance or a
community dance, but no less important (maybe more so) at many contra
dances.

My 2 cents -

Patricia

Patricia Campbell
(she/her)
Biddeford, ME



On Tue, Mar 12, 2024 at 1:36 PM Julian Blechner via Contra Callers <
contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:

> I'm nodding with a lot of comments from the last couple days. Louise
> articulated some base concepts clearly, which a lot of y'all expanded on.
>
> There are some contradictory ideas about gender and sexuality with dance,
> and I think we in general tend to shy away from delving too deeply in
> public discussion. I've been accused of "shaming" people for asking why a
> man may prefer dancing with women. The thing is, I've also said what I
> think nearly everyone - including most/all of the strongest advocates for
> genderfree contra - has said: its OK to have preferences for partners. I
> think it is sometimes hard to presume these discussions are done assuming
> the benefit of good intent, given how much gender and sexuality is an
> enormous political and civil rights topic in the US and most Western
> nations. But, I presume this good intent, and I think nearly everyone here
> does, too, so, I'm taking another stab at this topic.
>
> Here's some ideas I've been chewing over in an attempt to dig into this
> more deeply:
> - dance is often a courtship ritual
> - despite this, inter-gender set dancing has a long tradition in Western
> dance, and partnering with someone hasn't really ever been a "oh, I am
> attracted to them". To use the overused example of Jane Austen novels, even
> then it's clear family dance together, friends dance together, and
> strangers dance together just to have any partner.
> - children are at our dances. So if a person is choosing partners based on
> heterosexual tradition, why, um: EW
>
> And thus is where the conversation often stops. But to break it down more:
>
> - So, when someone says they prefer to dance in non-genderfree dances,
> with a partner of a different binary-presenting gender person, in trad
> roles, there's 2 possible, non-exclusive reasons:
> 1. That their choice is about courtship, but "make exceptions" for people
> you're not attracted to. Which, I guess is fine in and of itself, but I
> think people with this preference often may not consider _just how many
> exceptions_ there are.
> 2. Their choice is more about embracing traditional gender roles. I'll get
> back to this.
>
> So, in the case of #1, the problem isn't just about "what do we do with
> the fact that about 5% of people aren't straight". (And realize the number
> being 3 or 4 times as high among surveyed youth, with numbers lower in
> areas where anti-lgbtq law and sentiment pervades).
>
> The problem is also about fat phobia. And bias against people who aren't
> "conventionally attractive". And ageism. And disability phobia. Then
> there's the even worse case of when a person both claims attraction is
> their main factor for partner preference ... and also has a preference for
> much younger dancers. :|
>
> Pushing back on the idea of "partner preference because of sexual
> preference" is about all these issues - fatphobia, ageism, disability
> phobia, beauty-bias, etc. Now, maybe these things aren't a priority to
> everyone, but, I'm going to assume that the overwhelming majority of people
> on Shared Weight are interested in most, if not all of them. And,
> inevitably, remember - youth, beauty, and able-bodiedness all will fade for
> everyone.
>
> In reality, I think partner and role preference for trad-gender-partnering
> actually has to do more with gender norms. So insofar 

[Callers] Re: Looking for Jump Jim Joe Alternative

[Patricia Campbell via Contra Callers]

I always wondered if it was the lyrics or the tune or both. I tried to
research the tune and did not find anything that confirmed it (definitely
the lyrics). For awhile I made up my own words to the tune, but I stopped
b/c I still wasn't sure...

Patricia









Patricia Campbell
Dance Caller
Pronouns: she/her
P   203-354-4554  <203-354-4554>
|  W   https://countrydancecaller.com  




 

*Celebrating Community Through Traditional Dance and Music*



On Fri, Feb 16, 2024 at 10:36 AM Sue C. Hulsether via Contra Callers <
contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:

> Peter Amidon and the New England Dancing Master have written and
> published a similar singing game— different melody and words (original)
> called, I believe, “Jump in the Valley.”   I feel like “Jump Jim Joe” is
> mostly NOT done these days due to it being a direct adaptation of “Jump Jim
> Crow”.
>
> I myself wrote an original singing/ jumping dance called “The Popcorn
> Dance.”   Written roughly to the tune of  Soldiers Joy.  It is yet
> unpublished but I am happy to share it with individuals directly.
>
> Sue Hulsether
> shulset...@mac.com
> newdayhoed...@icloud.com
> www.suehulsether.com
> 608-632-1267
> This email sent via mobile device
>
> > On Feb 15, 2024, at 1:15 PM, Jerome Grisanti via Contra Callers <
> contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
> >
> > 
> > I understand that the childrens' singing game/dance I knew as Jump Jim
> Joe isn't used as such anymore due to its racist origins.
> >
> > I'm wondering whether another text and dance has been set to that tune.
> It was such a short and easy song, very accessible to early primary grades.
> >
> > Thanks!
> >
> > Jerome
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[Callers] Re: calling weddings

[Patricia Campbell via Contra Callers]

I echo what Lisa just said.

I'd also add - if only the wedding couple and maybe one or two others have
any experience of contra dancing, I would definitely NOT do a "regular"
duple minor contra; I would not teach swings; I would not use any confusing
figures that you wouldn't use for a family dance that's a ONS. Don't "build
up to" any contras or anything other than keeping it simple and fun.
They're not there to learn. DON'T make the dances long (it's not like a
monthly contra dance).

They're not there to dance; they're there to celebrate the wedding; I agree
that you charge extra if there will be alcohol; and if they tell you that
you have an hour, figure you may have 20-30 minutes (unless you come after
people have had time to drink a bunch - in which case you may have 2-3
dances at best) and you want to pick the most fun, most easily accessible
dances that barely need a walk-through.

Doing a spiral at some point (making sure the wedding couple is who you are
holding hands with) is a nice way for those who participate to honor them
(when you and they get to the center).

If your main reason is to recruit new dancers, I would not do weddings.

My 3 cents - from both experience as well as having read a ton of callers'
remarks and advice about calling for weddings.

Patricia

Patricia Campbell
Newtown, CT
*Celebrating Community Through Traditional Dance and Music*



On Mon, Jul 3, 2023 at 4:05 PM Lisa Sieverts via Contra Callers <
contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:

> Joe said:
>
> > I welcome any advice!  My main goal in taking wedding gigs is recruiting
> > new dancers to our local scene, if that matters.
>
> Joe, that does matter. Remember that a wedding is one of the most
> important days in the couple’s lives. Your goal as a wedding caller is to
> make the dancing fun for the couple and their guests. Wedding dances are
> great when the dance helps the two families and their respective friends to
> be able to connect and enjoy meeting each other.
>
> I think it would be crass to mention a local dance unless you are asked
> “where can we do more of this.”
>
> Lisa Sieverts
> 603-762-0235
> l...@lisasieverts.com
>
>
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[Callers] Re: Paperless Calling

[Patricia Campbell via Contra Callers]

I started out calling contras but moved entirely into Community Dance (a little 
of everything) and a much heavier emphasis this past year in International Folk 
Dance.

One of the best thing Beth Molaro ever told me to do when I was at a little 
music camp many years ago, and I was the only one in a dance session with her, 
was to “lose the cards.“

I practiced a simple dance over and over that afternoon till I had it down, and 
called it that evening without my card, and it was the most freeing experience 
I had had up to that point.

Since then I do write cards, and I bring them with me (ones that I think I will 
draw from for my program), and I may refer to them during the walk-through, but 
rarely need to use them when I’m calling. (I end up laying them out and 
deciding on the spot which one feels like the right next one to do.)

Meanwhile, I would love to know of a good, simple, easy-to-use program that 
works on Macs/Apple products.

Patricia 

Patricia Campbell 
Newtown, CT

Sent from my iPhone

> On Jul 28, 2021, at 1:46 PM, Bill Olson via Contra Callers 
>  wrote:
> 
> 
> Hi Susan, This addresses #2, a potential BACKUP PLAN. and also "paperless 
> calling" in general, though not in the way you were thinking...
> 
> Maybe 25-30 (sheesh maybe more!) years ago I had been calling for several 
> years and also played in a couple dance bands and also did sound at the North 
> Whitefield, Maine 4th Friday dance (this was Ted Sannella's dance for many 
> years). One time the caller didn't show up and I was asked if I could call 
> the dance. I had no cards with me but said OK and had to do it from memory. I 
> got through the dance (barely) without having to repeat any dances (hah hah) 
> but found the experience  very "freeing" not having to look down at a card. 
> (yeah there were a few tense moments there).. Anyway since that time I 
> resolved never to be tied down to paper (or recently to a computer or the 
> internet) and have always called from memory. This makes it easier to 
> interact with the band and more importantly to be aware of what is happening 
> with the dancers out on the floor. Before each dance I make a plan (which is 
> rarely fully adhered to) with dances and "spares".. I go through them in my 
> head on the way to the dance.. There have been several times, though not that 
> many, when I had a brain fart and couldn't remember the dance and had to bail 
> but quickly called a no-brainer one walk-thru dance.. . Before the pandemic 
> (i.e. not calling for a year and a half) I had about 100 dances in the memory 
> bank. Of course to keep things fresh, I would call new ones which I would 
> study for a while before the dance. Some times they got added to the 100 some 
> times not..
> 
> OK I understand not everyone trusts their memory like this.. BUT it's not a 
> bad idea to have an evening's program worth of dances that you can recall 
> from memory (or even two or three) just in case you forget your cards at a 
> dance where there is no internet access!!.. Rick Mohr used to have (maybe 
> still does) a business card sized card in his wallet. He developed a 
> shorthand for annotating a dance and claimed he had 100 dances on that card 
> (the printing was very small!).. !! Larry Unger used to carry a set of dance 
> cards in his guitar case.. He wasn't a caller but would give them to the 
> caller in case "something happened", so the show would go on. I.e. it's 
> probably good to have a set of "emergency" dance cards in your wallet or car 
> glove compartment or heck on your smart phone. But I still like being to call 
> from memory.. Good exercise for my brain I guess..
> 
> my $.02 worth..
> 
> bill olson in Maine
> 
> From: Susan English via Contra Callers 
> Sent: Wednesday, July 28, 2021 4:45 PM
> To: contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net 
> 
> Subject: [Callers] Paperless Calling
>  
> As I begin to travel again, I want to leave my dance cards home and access 
> all my material virtually.  I have 2 questions:
> 
> 1. Which virtual method (or app) do you prefer for accessing your dance 
> instructions and notes?
> 2. What is your back-up plan at a dance if you can't get on the internet?
> 
> Susan   
> 330-347-8155 
> woosterdance.com
> 
> 
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