Re: [Coworking] Re: When a member moves in :( How to deal with a member who is living in their office.

2018-11-29 Thread Aloma Loren 
Perfect. That's what we were just talking about!

On Thursday, November 29, 2018 at 3:27:21 PM UTC-8, Carl Sullivan wrote:
>
> After a couple of tech bros did something similar in our space we made a 
> rule that your not allowed to be on site for more that 18 continuious 
> hours, as too much work can be dangerous to your health.
>
> On Friday, November 30, 2018 at 10:13:51 AM UTC+11, Aloma Loren wrote:
>>
>> This is perfect Alex, thank you and I agree. This is the only real issue 
>> we've had like this in 4.5 years and I'm committed to continuing our 
>> history of being trusting and flexible and assuming people have the best 
>> intentions until they prove otherwise. 
>>
>>
>> On Thursday, November 29, 2018 at 3:11:09 PM UTC-8, Alex Hillman wrote:
>>>
>>> I would keep your member handbook language simple:
>>>
>>> - meeting rooms and private spaces are not to be used as a living space. 
>>> doors can be closed or locked for privacy, but private spaces must remain 
>>> accessible to staff and leadership. (If this poses a security or privacy 
>>> risk please talk to us ahead of time and we can work something out!)
>>> - all memberships and 24/7 access is a privilege not a right, and can be 
>>> revoked at the descretion of community leadership. 
>>>
>>> The thing I am always very careful about is creating unnecessary 
>>> language and restrictions for the majority based on the outlier actions of 
>>> a single person. That kind of "scar tissue" exists in most rulebooks, where 
>>> you can read a rule and think "the only reason this is here is because some 
>>> idiot did that."
>>>
>>> Ultimately, I don't believe that the person you described in this 
>>> scenario wasn't going to be deterred by a certain string of words. Yes, 
>>> it's valuable to set expectations for everyone but remember when writing 
>>> new rules that this person was an exception, not the rule :) 
>>>
>>> Alex
>>>
>>> On Thu, Nov 29, 2018 at 5:33 PM Aloma Loren  
>>> wrote:
>>>
 Thank you for your suggestions but her office did have a window in the 
 door. It had a blind that she could put down for some privacy but she also 
 had a towel taped up to cover gaps so you couldn't see anything. I need 
 some good wording for our handbook about this so any input for that would 
 be awesome.


 On Thursday, November 29, 2018 at 2:23:08 PM UTC-8, Carl Sullivan wrote:
>
> Wow, what an ending.
>
> I know this is now resolved, in future you could benefit from 
> replacing what I am assuming is a solid door with a glass door. It sets a 
> better tone that while offices are "private work spaces", they are not 
> "private spaces", it mihgt be a good mental shift so that people like 
> Member X cannot completly divide their space from the rest of your 
> coworking community.
>
> On Tuesday, November 27, 2018 at 5:25:27 AM UTC+11, Aloma Loren wrote:
>>
>> We have a member, we'll call this member X.
>>
>> X moved into a private office a couple months ago. 
>> X gave 30 days notice that they will be out by the end of November, 
>> however, they want to continue their membership as a Flex Desk member so 
>> would still have 24/7 access to the space.
>>
>> It is clear from our security cameras X is here 24/7. Walks around 
>> the space in their socks, is always in the same clothes, looks like they 
>> don't shower... Hung a towel over the inside of the door to block any 
>> little space between the blinds. 
>> The other night the cameras showed the police here at 4:30am walking 
>> through the space with flashlights. X says they had a friend in here 
>> that 
>> got violent and they had to call the police.
>>
>> X refuses to let us show the office to new members. They claim they 
>> are on the phone and busy all day. They literally slammed the door in my 
>> office manager's face when she was trying to talk to her very kindly 
>> about 
>> this.
>>
>> Anyone dealt with this kind of situation before?
>>
>> I can handle not showing the office. I have a feeling it would not 
>> show well anyway.
>> I do not feel comfortable with X still having access to the space 
>> after they move out of their office. 
>> Have you had to cancel a membership/refuse someone before?
>> How do you word it?
>>
>> Any advice or just sharing of stories welcome.
>>
>>
>>
>> -- 
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 Groups "Coworking" group.
 To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send 
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>>> yourself. Join the list: http://coworkingweekly.com Listen to the 
>>> podcast:

Re: [Coworking] Re: When a member moves in :( How to deal with a member who is living in their office.

2018-11-29 Thread Carl Sullivan 
After a couple of tech bros did something similar in our space we made a 
rule that your not allowed to be on site for more that 18 continuious 
hours, as too much work can be dangerous to your health.

On Friday, November 30, 2018 at 10:13:51 AM UTC+11, Aloma Loren wrote:
>
> This is perfect Alex, thank you and I agree. This is the only real issue 
> we've had like this in 4.5 years and I'm committed to continuing our 
> history of being trusting and flexible and assuming people have the best 
> intentions until they prove otherwise. 
>
>
> On Thursday, November 29, 2018 at 3:11:09 PM UTC-8, Alex Hillman wrote:
>>
>> I would keep your member handbook language simple:
>>
>> - meeting rooms and private spaces are not to be used as a living space. 
>> doors can be closed or locked for privacy, but private spaces must remain 
>> accessible to staff and leadership. (If this poses a security or privacy 
>> risk please talk to us ahead of time and we can work something out!)
>> - all memberships and 24/7 access is a privilege not a right, and can be 
>> revoked at the descretion of community leadership. 
>>
>> The thing I am always very careful about is creating unnecessary language 
>> and restrictions for the majority based on the outlier actions of a single 
>> person. That kind of "scar tissue" exists in most rulebooks, where you can 
>> read a rule and think "the only reason this is here is because some idiot 
>> did that."
>>
>> Ultimately, I don't believe that the person you described in this 
>> scenario wasn't going to be deterred by a certain string of words. Yes, 
>> it's valuable to set expectations for everyone but remember when writing 
>> new rules that this person was an exception, not the rule :) 
>>
>> Alex
>>
>> On Thu, Nov 29, 2018 at 5:33 PM Aloma Loren  
>> wrote:
>>
>>> Thank you for your suggestions but her office did have a window in the 
>>> door. It had a blind that she could put down for some privacy but she also 
>>> had a towel taped up to cover gaps so you couldn't see anything. I need 
>>> some good wording for our handbook about this so any input for that would 
>>> be awesome.
>>>
>>>
>>> On Thursday, November 29, 2018 at 2:23:08 PM UTC-8, Carl Sullivan wrote:

 Wow, what an ending.

 I know this is now resolved, in future you could benefit from replacing 
 what I am assuming is a solid door with a glass door. It sets a better 
 tone 
 that while offices are "private work spaces", they are not "private 
 spaces", it mihgt be a good mental shift so that people like Member X 
 cannot completly divide their space from the rest of your coworking 
 community.

 On Tuesday, November 27, 2018 at 5:25:27 AM UTC+11, Aloma Loren wrote:
>
> We have a member, we'll call this member X.
>
> X moved into a private office a couple months ago. 
> X gave 30 days notice that they will be out by the end of November, 
> however, they want to continue their membership as a Flex Desk member so 
> would still have 24/7 access to the space.
>
> It is clear from our security cameras X is here 24/7. Walks around the 
> space in their socks, is always in the same clothes, looks like they 
> don't 
> shower... Hung a towel over the inside of the door to block any little 
> space between the blinds. 
> The other night the cameras showed the police here at 4:30am walking 
> through the space with flashlights. X says they had a friend in here that 
> got violent and they had to call the police.
>
> X refuses to let us show the office to new members. They claim they 
> are on the phone and busy all day. They literally slammed the door in my 
> office manager's face when she was trying to talk to her very kindly 
> about 
> this.
>
> Anyone dealt with this kind of situation before?
>
> I can handle not showing the office. I have a feeling it would not 
> show well anyway.
> I do not feel comfortable with X still having access to the space 
> after they move out of their office. 
> Have you had to cancel a membership/refuse someone before?
> How do you word it?
>
> Any advice or just sharing of stories welcome.
>
>
>
> -- 
>>> You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google 
>>> Groups "Coworking" group.
>>> To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send 
>>> an email to coworking+...@googlegroups.com.
>>> For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout.
>>>
>> -- 
>> -- The #1 mistake in community building is doing it by 
>> yourself. Join the list: http://coworkingweekly.com Listen to the 
>> podcast: http://dangerouslyawesome.com/podcast
>>
>

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to

Re: [Coworking] Re: When a member moves in :( How to deal with a member who is living in their office.

2018-11-29 Thread Aloma Loren 
This is perfect Alex, thank you and I agree. This is the only real issue 
we've had like this in 4.5 years and I'm committed to continuing our 
history of being trusting and flexible and assuming people have the best 
intentions until they prove otherwise. 


On Thursday, November 29, 2018 at 3:11:09 PM UTC-8, Alex Hillman wrote:
>
> I would keep your member handbook language simple:
>
> - meeting rooms and private spaces are not to be used as a living space. 
> doors can be closed or locked for privacy, but private spaces must remain 
> accessible to staff and leadership. (If this poses a security or privacy 
> risk please talk to us ahead of time and we can work something out!)
> - all memberships and 24/7 access is a privilege not a right, and can be 
> revoked at the descretion of community leadership. 
>
> The thing I am always very careful about is creating unnecessary language 
> and restrictions for the majority based on the outlier actions of a single 
> person. That kind of "scar tissue" exists in most rulebooks, where you can 
> read a rule and think "the only reason this is here is because some idiot 
> did that."
>
> Ultimately, I don't believe that the person you described in this scenario 
> wasn't going to be deterred by a certain string of words. Yes, it's 
> valuable to set expectations for everyone but remember when writing new 
> rules that this person was an exception, not the rule :) 
>
> Alex
>
> On Thu, Nov 29, 2018 at 5:33 PM Aloma Loren  > wrote:
>
>> Thank you for your suggestions but her office did have a window in the 
>> door. It had a blind that she could put down for some privacy but she also 
>> had a towel taped up to cover gaps so you couldn't see anything. I need 
>> some good wording for our handbook about this so any input for that would 
>> be awesome.
>>
>>
>> On Thursday, November 29, 2018 at 2:23:08 PM UTC-8, Carl Sullivan wrote:
>>>
>>> Wow, what an ending.
>>>
>>> I know this is now resolved, in future you could benefit from replacing 
>>> what I am assuming is a solid door with a glass door. It sets a better tone 
>>> that while offices are "private work spaces", they are not "private 
>>> spaces", it mihgt be a good mental shift so that people like Member X 
>>> cannot completly divide their space from the rest of your coworking 
>>> community.
>>>
>>> On Tuesday, November 27, 2018 at 5:25:27 AM UTC+11, Aloma Loren wrote:

 We have a member, we'll call this member X.

 X moved into a private office a couple months ago. 
 X gave 30 days notice that they will be out by the end of November, 
 however, they want to continue their membership as a Flex Desk member so 
 would still have 24/7 access to the space.

 It is clear from our security cameras X is here 24/7. Walks around the 
 space in their socks, is always in the same clothes, looks like they don't 
 shower... Hung a towel over the inside of the door to block any little 
 space between the blinds. 
 The other night the cameras showed the police here at 4:30am walking 
 through the space with flashlights. X says they had a friend in here that 
 got violent and they had to call the police.

 X refuses to let us show the office to new members. They claim they are 
 on the phone and busy all day. They literally slammed the door in my 
 office 
 manager's face when she was trying to talk to her very kindly about this.

 Anyone dealt with this kind of situation before?

 I can handle not showing the office. I have a feeling it would not show 
 well anyway.
 I do not feel comfortable with X still having access to the space after 
 they move out of their office. 
 Have you had to cancel a membership/refuse someone before?
 How do you word it?

 Any advice or just sharing of stories welcome.



 -- 
>> You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups 
>> "Coworking" group.
>> To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an 
>> email to coworking+...@googlegroups.com .
>> For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout.
>>
> -- 
> -- The #1 mistake in community building is doing it by 
> yourself. Join the list: http://coworkingweekly.com Listen to the 
> podcast: http://dangerouslyawesome.com/podcast
>

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Re: [Coworking] Re: When a member moves in :( How to deal with a member who is living in their office.

2018-11-29 Thread Alex Hillman 
I would keep your member handbook language simple:

- meeting rooms and private spaces are not to be used as a living space.
doors can be closed or locked for privacy, but private spaces must remain
accessible to staff and leadership. (If this poses a security or privacy
risk please talk to us ahead of time and we can work something out!)
- all memberships and 24/7 access is a privilege not a right, and can be
revoked at the descretion of community leadership.

The thing I am always very careful about is creating unnecessary language
and restrictions for the majority based on the outlier actions of a single
person. That kind of "scar tissue" exists in most rulebooks, where you can
read a rule and think "the only reason this is here is because some idiot
did that."

Ultimately, I don't believe that the person you described in this scenario
wasn't going to be deterred by a certain string of words. Yes, it's
valuable to set expectations for everyone but remember when writing new
rules that this person was an exception, not the rule :)

Alex

On Thu, Nov 29, 2018 at 5:33 PM Aloma Loren 
wrote:

> Thank you for your suggestions but her office did have a window in the
> door. It had a blind that she could put down for some privacy but she also
> had a towel taped up to cover gaps so you couldn't see anything. I need
> some good wording for our handbook about this so any input for that would
> be awesome.
>
>
> On Thursday, November 29, 2018 at 2:23:08 PM UTC-8, Carl Sullivan wrote:
>>
>> Wow, what an ending.
>>
>> I know this is now resolved, in future you could benefit from replacing
>> what I am assuming is a solid door with a glass door. It sets a better tone
>> that while offices are "private work spaces", they are not "private
>> spaces", it mihgt be a good mental shift so that people like Member X
>> cannot completly divide their space from the rest of your coworking
>> community.
>>
>> On Tuesday, November 27, 2018 at 5:25:27 AM UTC+11, Aloma Loren wrote:
>>>
>>> We have a member, we'll call this member X.
>>>
>>> X moved into a private office a couple months ago.
>>> X gave 30 days notice that they will be out by the end of November,
>>> however, they want to continue their membership as a Flex Desk member so
>>> would still have 24/7 access to the space.
>>>
>>> It is clear from our security cameras X is here 24/7. Walks around the
>>> space in their socks, is always in the same clothes, looks like they don't
>>> shower... Hung a towel over the inside of the door to block any little
>>> space between the blinds.
>>> The other night the cameras showed the police here at 4:30am walking
>>> through the space with flashlights. X says they had a friend in here that
>>> got violent and they had to call the police.
>>>
>>> X refuses to let us show the office to new members. They claim they are
>>> on the phone and busy all day. They literally slammed the door in my office
>>> manager's face when she was trying to talk to her very kindly about this.
>>>
>>> Anyone dealt with this kind of situation before?
>>>
>>> I can handle not showing the office. I have a feeling it would not show
>>> well anyway.
>>> I do not feel comfortable with X still having access to the space after
>>> they move out of their office.
>>> Have you had to cancel a membership/refuse someone before?
>>> How do you word it?
>>>
>>> Any advice or just sharing of stories welcome.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> --
> You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups
> "Coworking" group.
> To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an
> email to coworking+unsubscr...@googlegroups.com.
> For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout.
>
-- 
-- The #1 mistake in community building is doing it by
yourself. Join the list: http://coworkingweekly.com Listen to the podcast:
http://dangerouslyawesome.com/podcast

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[Coworking] Re: When a member moves in :( How to deal with a member who is living in their office.

2018-11-29 Thread Carl Sullivan 
Wow, what an ending.

I know this is now resolved, in future you could benefit from replacing 
what I am assuming is a solid door with a glass door. It sets a better tone 
that while offices are "private work spaces", they are not "private 
spaces", it mihgt be a good mental shift so that people like Member X 
cannot completly divide their space from the rest of your coworking 
community.

On Tuesday, November 27, 2018 at 5:25:27 AM UTC+11, Aloma Loren wrote:
>
> We have a member, we'll call this member X.
>
> X moved into a private office a couple months ago. 
> X gave 30 days notice that they will be out by the end of November, 
> however, they want to continue their membership as a Flex Desk member so 
> would still have 24/7 access to the space.
>
> It is clear from our security cameras X is here 24/7. Walks around the 
> space in their socks, is always in the same clothes, looks like they don't 
> shower... Hung a towel over the inside of the door to block any little 
> space between the blinds. 
> The other night the cameras showed the police here at 4:30am walking 
> through the space with flashlights. X says they had a friend in here that 
> got violent and they had to call the police.
>
> X refuses to let us show the office to new members. They claim they are on 
> the phone and busy all day. They literally slammed the door in my office 
> manager's face when she was trying to talk to her very kindly about this.
>
> Anyone dealt with this kind of situation before?
>
> I can handle not showing the office. I have a feeling it would not show 
> well anyway.
> I do not feel comfortable with X still having access to the space after 
> they move out of their office. 
> Have you had to cancel a membership/refuse someone before?
> How do you word it?
>
> Any advice or just sharing of stories welcome.
>
>
>
>

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[Coworking] Re: When a member moves in :( How to deal with a member who is living in their office.

2018-11-29 Thread Aloma Loren 
Thank you for your suggestions but her office did have a window in the 
door. It had a blind that she could put down for some privacy but she also 
had a towel taped up to cover gaps so you couldn't see anything. I need 
some good wording for our handbook about this so any input for that would 
be awesome.

On Thursday, November 29, 2018 at 2:23:08 PM UTC-8, Carl Sullivan wrote:
>
> Wow, what an ending.
>
> I know this is now resolved, in future you could benefit from replacing 
> what I am assuming is a solid door with a glass door. It sets a better tone 
> that while offices are "private work spaces", they are not "private 
> spaces", it mihgt be a good mental shift so that people like Member X 
> cannot completly divide their space from the rest of your coworking 
> community.
>
> On Tuesday, November 27, 2018 at 5:25:27 AM UTC+11, Aloma Loren wrote:
>>
>> We have a member, we'll call this member X.
>>
>> X moved into a private office a couple months ago. 
>> X gave 30 days notice that they will be out by the end of November, 
>> however, they want to continue their membership as a Flex Desk member so 
>> would still have 24/7 access to the space.
>>
>> It is clear from our security cameras X is here 24/7. Walks around the 
>> space in their socks, is always in the same clothes, looks like they don't 
>> shower... Hung a towel over the inside of the door to block any little 
>> space between the blinds. 
>> The other night the cameras showed the police here at 4:30am walking 
>> through the space with flashlights. X says they had a friend in here that 
>> got violent and they had to call the police.
>>
>> X refuses to let us show the office to new members. They claim they are 
>> on the phone and busy all day. They literally slammed the door in my office 
>> manager's face when she was trying to talk to her very kindly about this.
>>
>> Anyone dealt with this kind of situation before?
>>
>> I can handle not showing the office. I have a feeling it would not show 
>> well anyway.
>> I do not feel comfortable with X still having access to the space after 
>> they move out of their office. 
>> Have you had to cancel a membership/refuse someone before?
>> How do you word it?
>>
>> Any advice or just sharing of stories welcome.
>>
>>
>>
>>

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Re: [Coworking] Re: When a member moves in :( How to deal with a member who is living in their office.

2018-11-27 Thread Tony Bacigalupo 
Aloma,

Wow, what an intense finish. It sounds like you were sensing things were
coming to a head.

Now, as the dust settles, can be a valuable time for your community to come
together.

You may consider convening a town hall or some more informal gathering to
give people a chance to voice their feelings about what happened and for
you to share your own experience as well.

Collectively, your community can use this moment to form stronger bonds and
develop a greater resolve to protect each other and the space going forward.

Do you think that's something you and your people might be open to?

Tony



On Tue, Nov 27, 2018 at 2:33 PM Aloma Loren 
wrote:

> Alex,
>
> I so appreciate how much time and care you put into your responses. It is
> clear you care about coworking and community and I appreciate your
> willingness to share your experience and advice in such detail.
>
>
> On Monday, November 26, 2018 at 4:00:27 PM UTC-8, Alex Hillman wrote:
>>
>> I should have added to my original reply that I assumed Aloma had already
>> tried speaking to this person...and that assumption on my part is based on
>> our interactions on this list over the last few years.
>>
>> And I'm speaking directly to the folks who, like myself and Aloma and
>> many other people who've built strong communities by being thoughtful and
>> generous: *there is a fine line between recognizing when a member is in
>> trouble and needs help, and when someone is being abusive. *
>>
>> Thing is, my default is generosity and caring and the benefit of the
>> doubt. I'm proud of the many times that our members have been in some kind
>> of trouble and that either myself or another member was able to help them.
>>
>> But I've learned that generosity can be abused, and that's what I see in
>> Aloma's original post. For me, it's two specific things, and frankly,
>> neither of them are specifically related to using a private room as a
>> residence:
>>
>> *1 - bringing in outside people after hours, and that resulting in a
>> situation that required calling the police. *
>>
>> after hours access is a privilege of trust, not a right of membership. i've
>> written extensively about this
>> 
>> and the system we developed after being abused by someone who took
>> advantage of a situation. that system depends on the people who have access
>> to be WORTHY of trust. all trust systems depends on strong links
>> recognizing weak links. in this case, NOT removing this person's 24/7
>> access sends a message to the strong links that the weak links are allowed.
>>
>> *2 - slamming the door in the face of an employee, or any sort of
>> belligerent behavior directed towards others. *say or do anything you
>> want to me, but don't fuck with my team (or our members).  Now, this
>> isn't a "if you disagree with me you're out on the street." The specific
>> examples shared are abusive behavior, and regardless of the reason they do
>> not need to be tolerated within a community.
>>
>> Again, this isn't simply "you aren't nice so you're out" but abusive,
>> disruptive behavior directed towards people, or shared resources (which
>> basically says I don't GAF about the people I share this with).
>>
>> Humans are complicated and messy. These situations are not black and
>> white. There is no single right way to handle this.
>>
>> And worst of all, most of us don't realize what job we're signing up for
>> when we start these things.
>>
>> Short term, I still strongly believe that this person needs their 24/7
>> access removed. You can tell them that you're here to support them in
>> getting help if they need it, but they can't use the space.
>>
>> Medium term, I would strongly consider two things:
>>
>> 1 - consider a mental health first aid class for you, your staff, and
>> maybe even your members who want to participate. there are lots of little
>> things that can be done long before a situation becomes this bad.
>>
>> 2 - consider a community town hall about the situation. don't make it
>> about the person specifically, but instead about how you *as a community*
>> would want to deal with a situation like this in the future. this could
>> possibly be tied into the first suggestion above.
>>
>> Bottom line: this isn't a real estate business, it's a human business.
>> That means it's going to get messy.
>>
>> But that also does NOT mean that you have to sit back and get beat up by
>> someone who is abusing you or your community.
>>
>> -Alex
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> --
>> *The #1 mistake in community building is doing it by yourself.*
>> Better Coworkers: http://indyhall.org
>> Weekly Coworking Tips: http://coworkingweekly.com
>> My Audiobook: https://theindyhallway.com/ten
>>
>> Sent via Superhuman 
>>
>>
>> On Mon, Nov 26, 2018 at 5:46 PM, Aloma Loren 
>> wrote:
>>
>>> Wow, Miles, your comment feels full

Re: [Coworking] Re: When a member moves in :( How to deal with a member who is living in their office.

2018-11-27 Thread Aloma Loren 
Alex, 

I so appreciate how much time and care you put into your responses. It is 
clear you care about coworking and community and I appreciate your 
willingness to share your experience and advice in such detail.


On Monday, November 26, 2018 at 4:00:27 PM UTC-8, Alex Hillman wrote:
>
> I should have added to my original reply that I assumed Aloma had already 
> tried speaking to this person...and that assumption on my part is based on 
> our interactions on this list over the last few years. 
>
> And I'm speaking directly to the folks who, like myself and Aloma and many 
> other people who've built strong communities by being thoughtful and 
> generous: *there is a fine line between recognizing when a member is in 
> trouble and needs help, and when someone is being abusive. *
>
> Thing is, my default is generosity and caring and the benefit of the 
> doubt. I'm proud of the many times that our members have been in some kind 
> of trouble and that either myself or another member was able to help them. 
>
> But I've learned that generosity can be abused, and that's what I see in 
> Aloma's original post. For me, it's two specific things, and frankly, 
> neither of them are specifically related to using a private room as a 
> residence:
>
> *1 - bringing in outside people after hours, and that resulting in a 
> situation that required calling the police. *
>
> after hours access is a privilege of trust, not a right of membership. i've 
> written extensively about this 
> 
>  
> and the system we developed after being abused by someone who took 
> advantage of a situation. that system depends on the people who have access 
> to be WORTHY of trust. all trust systems depends on strong links 
> recognizing weak links. in this case, NOT removing this person's 24/7 
> access sends a message to the strong links that the weak links are allowed. 
>
> *2 - slamming the door in the face of an employee, or any sort of 
> belligerent behavior directed towards others. *say or do anything you 
> want to me, but don't fuck with my team (or our members).  Now, this 
> isn't a "if you disagree with me you're out on the street." The specific 
> examples shared are abusive behavior, and regardless of the reason they do 
> not need to be tolerated within a community. 
>
> Again, this isn't simply "you aren't nice so you're out" but abusive, 
> disruptive behavior directed towards people, or shared resources (which 
> basically says I don't GAF about the people I share this with).  
>
> Humans are complicated and messy. These situations are not black and 
> white. There is no single right way to handle this. 
>
> And worst of all, most of us don't realize what job we're signing up for 
> when we start these things. 
>
> Short term, I still strongly believe that this person needs their 24/7 
> access removed. You can tell them that you're here to support them in 
> getting help if they need it, but they can't use the space. 
>
> Medium term, I would strongly consider two things:
>
> 1 - consider a mental health first aid class for you, your staff, and 
> maybe even your members who want to participate. there are lots of little 
> things that can be done long before a situation becomes this bad. 
>
> 2 - consider a community town hall about the situation. don't make it 
> about the person specifically, but instead about how you *as a community* 
> would want to deal with a situation like this in the future. this could 
> possibly be tied into the first suggestion above. 
>
> Bottom line: this isn't a real estate business, it's a human business. 
> That means it's going to get messy. 
>
> But that also does NOT mean that you have to sit back and get beat up by 
> someone who is abusing you or your community. 
>
> -Alex
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> --
> *The #1 mistake in community building is doing it by yourself.*
> Better Coworkers: http://indyhall.org
> Weekly Coworking Tips: http://coworkingweekly.com
> My Audiobook: https://theindyhallway.com/ten
>
> Sent via Superhuman 
>
>
> On Mon, Nov 26, 2018 at 5:46 PM, Aloma Loren  > wrote:
>
>> Wow, Miles, your comment feels full of negative assumptions about me and 
>> my business. FYI I have run this space as a community service project 
>> without pay for 4.5 years pouring my heart and time and energy into 
>> creating a supportive community where people feel cared for and supported.
>> OF COURSE WE HAVE TRIED TO TALK TO THIS PERSON. This person literally 
>> closed the door in my face. I was nothing but kind and only asked when they 
>> would have time to meet in the next few days. I'm not sure how my original 
>> comment has you drawing such conclusions but the tone of your comment is 
>> not appreciated. 
>>
>> On Monday, November 26, 2018 at 2:17:30 PM UTC-8, Miles Fidelman wrote:
>>>
>>> Has anyone, you know, actually

[Coworking] Re: When a member moves in :( How to deal with a member who is living in their office.

2018-11-27 Thread Aloma Loren 
So shit hit the fan yesterday afternoon. 
This person had two other women come visit her and the three women ended up 
physically assaulting each other. The police were called and the member was 
arrested. She clearly was way more unstable than we thought. She resisted 
arrest, biting and assaulting the officers, so much so that she had to be 
hog tied and carried out by several officers. She had an air mattress in 
her office, drugs and alcohol, the office is a complete mess and she was 
obviously living out of it. 

So many lessons here!

Thank you so much for the supportive messages and this community for being 
here so we all have a place to talk about the joys and challenges of 
running these spaces. 
We have always operated in an open, trusting way and will continue to do 
so. This is our first issue in 4.5 years and our community of members is 
generally amazing and respectful of our space. 

If anyone has some good wording for our handbook regarding what defines 
living out of an office and being able to terminate a membership at any 
time I'd love to see it. I think I do need to make some adjustments to how 
things are written in our handbook just to cover bases and make things 
extra super clear!



On Monday, November 26, 2018 at 10:25:27 AM UTC-8, Aloma Loren wrote:
>
> We have a member, we'll call this member X.
>
> X moved into a private office a couple months ago. 
> X gave 30 days notice that they will be out by the end of November, 
> however, they want to continue their membership as a Flex Desk member so 
> would still have 24/7 access to the space.
>
> It is clear from our security cameras X is here 24/7. Walks around the 
> space in their socks, is always in the same clothes, looks like they don't 
> shower... Hung a towel over the inside of the door to block any little 
> space between the blinds. 
> The other night the cameras showed the police here at 4:30am walking 
> through the space with flashlights. X says they had a friend in here that 
> got violent and they had to call the police.
>
> X refuses to let us show the office to new members. They claim they are on 
> the phone and busy all day. They literally slammed the door in my office 
> manager's face when she was trying to talk to her very kindly about this.
>
> Anyone dealt with this kind of situation before?
>
> I can handle not showing the office. I have a feeling it would not show 
> well anyway.
> I do not feel comfortable with X still having access to the space after 
> they move out of their office. 
> Have you had to cancel a membership/refuse someone before?
> How do you word it?
>
> Any advice or just sharing of stories welcome.
>
>
>
>

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[Coworking] Re: When a member moves in :( How to deal with a member who is living in their office.

2018-11-27 Thread Jeannine van der Linden 


> SInce talking in person is not working, I would stop doing that.  I think 
> it is time to go to written communication.  Like this:
>

Dear coworker,

As you know,  you have terminated your contract for a private office with 
us as of 30 November.  At that time you requested to change to a 24/7 
contract, and that request was honored.  However, in the mean time a number 
of issues have arisen:

1) It appears that you are living in the space.  Eugene Mindworks is not 
suitable for residential use, and is also not zoned for residential use.  
Living in the space is not an option.
2) There has been at least one violent incident in the space to which the 
police had to be called. This is not safe for you, the space, or the other 
community members.
3) You have refused to allow anyone to enter the private office to show it 
to prospective new coworkers.  This is harmful to Eugene Mindworks and to 
its community.
4) When I or the Community Manager have tried to talk to you about this, 
you have rebuffed each attempt, closing the door in the Community manager's 
face.  We are concerned about you as well as about the space and our other 
members, but refusing to communicate is harmful to our community and our 
relationship with you.

Accordingly, as of 30 November with the termination of your private office 
contract, I see no choice other than to ask you to remove all of your 
belongings and leave the space.  A 24/7 membership is not possible under 
these circumstances.  I regret that I cannot extend your contract but as 
things are I do not see how I can.

Sincerely,

Aloma

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Re: [Coworking] Re: When a member moves in :( How to deal with a member who is living in their office.

2018-11-26 Thread Alex Hillman 
I should have added to my original reply that I assumed Aloma had already tried 
speaking to this person...and that assumption on my part is based on our 
interactions on this list over the last few years. 

And I'm speaking directly to the folks who, like myself and Aloma and many 
other people who've built strong communities by being thoughtful and generous: 
*there is a fine line between recognizing when a member is in trouble and needs 
help, and when someone is being abusive. * *
*

Thing is, my default is generosity and caring and the benefit of the doubt. I'm 
proud of the many times that our members have been in some kind of trouble and 
that either myself or another member was able to help them. 

But I've learned that generosity can be abused, and that's what I see in 
Aloma's original post. For me, it's two specific things, and frankly, neither 
of them are specifically related to using a private room as a residence:

*1 - bringing in outside people after hours, and that resulting in a situation 
that required calling the police.*

after hours access is a privilege of trust, not a right of membership. i've 
written extensively about this ( 
https://dangerouslyawesome.com/2014/07/the-neighborhood-watch-method-for-coworking-space-security/
 ) and the system we developed after being abused by someone who took advantage 
of a situation. that system depends on the people who have access to be WORTHY 
of trust. all trust systems depends on strong links recognizing weak links. in 
this case, NOT removing this person's 24/7 access sends a message to the strong 
links that the weak links are allowed.

*2 - slamming the door in the face of an employee, or any sort of belligerent 
behavior directed towards others.* say or do anything you want to me, but don't 
fuck with my team (or our members). * * Now, this isn't a "if you disagree with 
me you're out on the street." The specific examples shared are abusive 
behavior, and regardless of the reason they do not need to be tolerated within 
a community. 

Again, this isn't simply "you aren't nice so you're out" but abusive, 
disruptive behavior directed towards people, or shared resources (which 
basically says I don't GAF about the people I share this with).  

Humans are complicated and messy. These situations are not black and white. 
There is no single right way to handle this.

And worst of all, most of us don't realize what job we're signing up for when 
we start these things. 

Short term, I still strongly believe that this person needs their 24/7 access 
removed. You can tell them that you're here to support them in getting help if 
they need it, but they can't use the space. 

Medium term, I would strongly consider two things:

1 - consider a mental health first aid class for you, your staff, and maybe 
even your members who want to participate. there are lots of little things that 
can be done long before a situation becomes this bad. 

2 - consider a community town hall about the situation. don't make it about the 
person specifically, but instead about how you *as a community* would want to 
deal with a situation like this in the future. this could possibly be tied into 
the first suggestion above. 

Bottom line: this isn't a real estate business, it's a human business. That 
means it's going to get messy.

But that also does NOT mean that you have to sit back and get beat up by 
someone who is abusing you or your community.

-Alex

--- --- --- --- --- ---
*The #1 mistake in community building is doing it by yourself.*
Better Coworkers: http://indyhall.org ( http://indyhall.org/ ) *
*
Weekly Coworking Tips: http://coworkingweekly.com ( http://coworkingweekly.com/ 
)
My Audiobook: https://theindyhallway.com/ten

Sent via Superhuman ( https://sprh.mn/?vip=dangerouslyawes...@gmail.com )

On Mon, Nov 26, 2018 at 5:46 PM, Aloma Loren < freephotoproj...@gmail.com > 
wrote:

> 
> Wow, Miles, your comment feels full of negative assumptions about me and
> my business. FYI I have run this space as a community service project
> without pay for 4.5 years pouring my heart and time and energy into
> creating a supportive community where people feel cared for and supported.
> 
> OF COURSE WE HAVE TRIED TO TALK TO THIS PERSON. This person literally
> closed the door in my face. I was nothing but kind and only asked when
> they would have time to meet in the next few days. I'm not sure how my
> original comment has you drawing such conclusions but the tone of your
> comment is not appreciated. 
> 
> On Monday, November 26, 2018 at 2:17:30 PM UTC-8, Miles Fidelman wrote:
>> Has anyone, you know, actually talked to the member?  Sounds like someone
>> who's underwater & drowing.  Are they having business problems?  Family
>> problems?  Mental problems?  Or are you just one of those places that's
>> really just rental real-estate and members  be damned?  Not a place I'd
>> want to work in, or a group of people I'd want to work with.
>> 
>> 
>> On Monday, November

[Coworking] Re: When a member moves in :( How to deal with a member who is living in their office.

2018-11-26 Thread Aloma Loren 
Wow, Miles, your comment feels full of negative assumptions about me and my 
business. FYI I have run this space as a community service project without 
pay for 4.5 years pouring my heart and time and energy into creating a 
supportive community where people feel cared for and supported.
OF COURSE WE HAVE TRIED TO TALK TO THIS PERSON. This person literally 
closed the door in my face. I was nothing but kind and only asked when they 
would have time to meet in the next few days. I'm not sure how my original 
comment has you drawing such conclusions but the tone of your comment is 
not appreciated. 

On Monday, November 26, 2018 at 2:17:30 PM UTC-8, Miles Fidelman wrote:
>
> Has anyone, you know, actually talked to the member?  Sounds like someone 
> who's underwater & drowing.  Are they having business problems?  Family 
> problems?  Mental problems?  Or are you just one of those places that's 
> really just rental real-estate and members  be damned?  Not a place I'd 
> want to work in, or a group of people I'd want to work with.
>
>
> On Monday, November 26, 2018 at 1:25:27 PM UTC-5, Aloma Loren wrote:
>>
>> We have a member, we'll call this member X.
>>
>> X moved into a private office a couple months ago. 
>> X gave 30 days notice that they will be out by the end of November, 
>> however, they want to continue their membership as a Flex Desk member so 
>> would still have 24/7 access to the space.
>>
>> It is clear from our security cameras X is here 24/7. Walks around the 
>> space in their socks, is always in the same clothes, looks like they don't 
>> shower... Hung a towel over the inside of the door to block any little 
>> space between the blinds. 
>> The other night the cameras showed the police here at 4:30am walking 
>> through the space with flashlights. X says they had a friend in here that 
>> got violent and they had to call the police.
>>
>> X refuses to let us show the office to new members. They claim they are 
>> on the phone and busy all day. They literally slammed the door in my office 
>> manager's face when she was trying to talk to her very kindly about this.
>>
>> Anyone dealt with this kind of situation before?
>>
>> I can handle not showing the office. I have a feeling it would not show 
>> well anyway.
>> I do not feel comfortable with X still having access to the space after 
>> they move out of their office. 
>> Have you had to cancel a membership/refuse someone before?
>> How do you word it?
>>
>> Any advice or just sharing of stories welcome.
>>
>>
>>
>>

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[Coworking] Re: When a member moves in :( How to deal with a member who is living in their office.

2018-11-26 Thread Miles Fidelman 
Has anyone, you know, actually talked to the member?  Sounds like someone 
who's underwater & drowing.  Are they having business problems?  Family 
problems?  Mental problems?  Or are you just one of those places that's 
really just rental real-estate and members  be damned?  Not a place I'd 
want to work in, or a group of people I'd want to work with.


On Monday, November 26, 2018 at 1:25:27 PM UTC-5, Aloma Loren wrote:
>
> We have a member, we'll call this member X.
>
> X moved into a private office a couple months ago. 
> X gave 30 days notice that they will be out by the end of November, 
> however, they want to continue their membership as a Flex Desk member so 
> would still have 24/7 access to the space.
>
> It is clear from our security cameras X is here 24/7. Walks around the 
> space in their socks, is always in the same clothes, looks like they don't 
> shower... Hung a towel over the inside of the door to block any little 
> space between the blinds. 
> The other night the cameras showed the police here at 4:30am walking 
> through the space with flashlights. X says they had a friend in here that 
> got violent and they had to call the police.
>
> X refuses to let us show the office to new members. They claim they are on 
> the phone and busy all day. They literally slammed the door in my office 
> manager's face when she was trying to talk to her very kindly about this.
>
> Anyone dealt with this kind of situation before?
>
> I can handle not showing the office. I have a feeling it would not show 
> well anyway.
> I do not feel comfortable with X still having access to the space after 
> they move out of their office. 
> Have you had to cancel a membership/refuse someone before?
> How do you word it?
>
> Any advice or just sharing of stories welcome.
>
>
>
>

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