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The Konformist
KN4M
10 July 1999
Index
Humor Break
Join the Campaign to Legalize Microradio
Fairness & Accuracy in Reporting ([EMAIL PROTECTED])
Could 'Mary Jane' Save the Farm?
Tom Saunders, Bill Of Attainder Project ([EMAIL PROTECTED])
G. W. Bush Connection With Freemasons
Special Report: Gene Rightmyer surfaces again? BATF Agent to speak in Vegas?
Norio Hayakawa ([EMAIL PROTECTED])
Three Cult Men
One day, 3 men wanted to join a certain cult so they approached the high
priest of that cult. The high priest told the three men to do a bad thing
each. The three men went home.
The next day, they returned. The high priest asked the first man what bad
thing he had done.
The man said, "I killed a man."
The high priest said, "Very good. Now go drink the unholy water and become
one of us."
The priest asked the second man the same question.
The second man replied, "I robbed this woman, raped her and then I killed
her."
The high priest was very impressed. "Go drink the unholy water and join your
new brothers."
When the priest asked the third man the same question. The man replied, "I
pissed in the unholy water."
**********
SISTERS OF MERCY
A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway, when he notices a sign
out of the corner of his eye. It says Sisters of Mercy House of Prostitution
10 Miles. He thinks it was just a figment of his imagination and drives on
without a second thought. Soon, he sees another sign which says Sisters of
Mercy House of Prostitution 5 Miles and realizes that these signs are for
real. When he drives past a third sign saying Sisters of Mercy House of
Prostitution Next Right, his curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into
the drive.
On the far side of the parking lot is a somber stone building with a small
sign next to the door reading SISTERS OF MERCY. He climbs the steps and rings
the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks "What
may we do for you, my son?" He answers "I saw your signs along the highway,
and was interested in possibly doing business."
"Very well, my son. Please follow me." He is led through many winding
passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door,and
tells the man "Please knock on this door." He does as he is told and this
door is answered by another nun in a long habit and holding a tin cup.This
nun instructs "Please place $50 in the cup, then go through the large wooden
door at the end of this hallway." He gets $50 out of his wallet and places it
in the second nun's cup.
He trots eagerly down the hall and slips through the door, pulling it shut
behind him. As the door locks behind him, he finds himself back in the
parking lot, facing another small sign:
Go in Peace, You Have Just Been Screwed by the Sisters of Mercy.
**********
IF MICROSOFT WAS JEWISH
1. Instead of getting a "General Protection Fault" error, your PC would get
"Ferklemmt."
2. When you fill up your "C-drive," you will get a "Hard Drive is Shtupped"
message.
3. Hanukkah screen savers will have "Flying Draydles."
4. Your PC shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday evenings.
5. CD-ROM's would be rendered obsolete with the invention of high
compression DVB's (digital video bagels).
6. Your "Start" button would be replaced with a "Let's go! I'm not getting
any younger!" button.
7. "Abort, Retry, Ignore" would be replaced with "Stop it already - You're
killing me! You vant I should try it again? I didn't hear that!".
8. When disconnecting external devices from the back of your PC, you would
be instructed to "Remove the cable from your PC's toukhes."
9. Your multimedia player would be renamed to "Nu, so play my music
already!".
10. During Passover, your PC would not be able to read "leavened floppies."
11. "Microsoft Word" would be renamed to "Microsoft Kibbitz."
12. Microsoft Office would include "A little byte of this, and a little byte
of that."
13. When running "ScanDisk," you will be prompted with a "You vant I should
fix this?" message.
14. When your PC is working too hard, you would occasionally hear a loud
Oy!!!".
15. A "monitor cleaning solution" from Manischewitz would advertise that it
gets rid of the "schmootz" on your monitor.
16. After 20 minutes of no activity, your PC would go "Shloofie"
17. Computer viruses would now be cured with chicken soup.
18. Solitaire would be replaced with on-line "Bingo"or "Mahjong."
19. Internet Explorer would now have a spinning "Star of David" in the upper
right corner.
20. After your computer dies, you would dispose of it within 24 hours.
21. You would hear the tune "Hava Nagila" during startup.
22. "Year 2000" issues are replaced by "Year 5760-5761" issues.
23. Bill Gates' official theme song would be "If I Were a Rich Man.
**********
A hillbilly man and his new bride were on their honeymoon. The
husband jumps into bed to wait for his wife to get herself ready.
The wife comes out of the bathroom in a sexy negligee and says
"Honey, I have something to tell you. I'm a virgin."
The man grabs his clothes and rushes out of the house yelling at the
top of his lungs. He heads straight to his fathers house. When he
gets there, his father says, "Son, what are you doing here? You're
supposed to be on your honeymoon."
The son says, "Dad, my new wife told me a big secret of hers. She's
a virgin."
"Damn son. You did the right thing by leaving. If she wasn't good
enough for her family, she sure as hell isn't good enough for ours!"
**********
Urban Legend?
Surprise Wedding
Below is a true story about a recent wedding that took place in Clemson,SC.
There was a huge wedding with about 300 guests.
After the wedding at the reception, the groom got up on stage at the
microphone to talk to the crowd.
He said that he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long
distances, to support them at their wedding.
He especially wanted to thank the bride's and groom's families for coming and
to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a fabulous reception.
To thank everyone for coming and bringing gifts and everything, he said he
wanted to give everyone a special gift from just him. So taped to the bottom
of everyone's chair was a manila envelope including the wedding party.
He said that was his gift to everyone, and told everyone to open the
envelopes. Inside each manila envelope was a 8x10 picture of his best man
having sex with the bride.
(He had gotten suspicious of the two of them and hired a private detective
to trail them weeks prior to the wedding.)
After he stood there and watched the people's reactions for a couple of
minutes, he turned to the best man and said "Fuck you," he turned to the
bride and said "Fuck you," and then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and
said "I'm out of here."
He had the marriage annulled first thing that Monday morning.
While most of us would have broken off the engagement immediately after
finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with it anyway as if
nothing was wrong.
His revenge:
1) Making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300 guest wedding and
reception.
2) Letting everyone know exactly what did happen.
3) And best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front
of all of their friends, their entire families i.e. their parents,
brothers,sisters, grandparents, nieces and nephews, etc.
**********
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] (FAIR)
FAIR-L
Fairness & Accuracy in Reporting
Media analysis, critiques and news reports
FAIR ACTION ALERT: Join the Campaign to Legalize Microradio
July 9, 1999
The Federal Communications Commission is currently seeking public comment
that would end the agency's long-standing ban on low-power (or "micro")
radio.
Microradio is currently an illegal form of radio broadcasting, which takes
advantage of unused radio spectrum to broadcast low-watt transmissions.
Microradio has the potential to be an ideal, low-cost form of community
media.
The FCC is seeking public comment until August 2 on a proposal to create new
regulations that would legalize this sort of broadcasting. Legalization
would protect microbroadcasters, while at the same time ensuring that
microradio signals do not conflict with other spectrum
users.
Support for increasing the public's access to the airwaves has come from
individuals and organizations from across the political spectrum. But a
campaign has formed to lobby against microradio, largely the work of the
National Association of Broadcasters, an
industry group.
That is precisely why public input on this matter is so valuable.
There are three different ways to contribute to this effort:
1) Sign on to a letter endorsed by Noam Chomsky, Barbara Ehrenreich,
Howard Zinn and FAIR's Janine Jackson at:
http://artcon.rutgers.edu/mec.html
2) Read and endorse the formal comments on the FCC Proposal from the
National Lawyer's Guild's Committee on Democratic Communications:
http://www.nlgcdc.org/99-25.htm
3) Join the Microradio Empowerment Coalition:
http://www.nlgcdc.org/mec/index.html
The establishment of noncommercial, locally owned and operated media outlets
represents one way that activists can actually change the shape of the media
landscape.
For more information, please read a CounterSpin transcript featuring Peter
Franck from the National Lawyers Guild's Committee on Democratic
Communications and Barbara Olshansky from the Center for Constitutional
Rights:
http://www.fair.org/counterspin/micro-transcript.html
----------
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**********
Friday, July 09, 1999
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
BILL OF ATTAINDER PROJECT
*****************************
Could 'Mary Jane' Save the Farm?
A huge number of farmers are about to lose their farms this year. It is worse
than last year which saw the longest dry spell that anyone alive from Houston
to Kansas City ever saw.
This year farmers growing wheat, corn, and other food crops have had a
wonderful growing season and the market is very overstocked. Crop prices are
so low that many farmers will not survive this year. They could if there was
an alternative crop like marijuana.
Ranchers farm too. Herds need dry hay in the summer as well as winter. This
year the sudan hay harvest is bountiful. Fifteen-hundred pound bales of hay
sell for thirty dollars and under. Last year there was a hay shortage and
bales of hay doubled in price. The government supplied hay from farms outside
the drought area so ranchers in 'tornado alley' could feed their livestock.
Estimation of the worth of those fifteen-hundred pound bales of hay, if they
were marijuana is speculative. As an alternative crop, certainly marijuana
would have saved the farms of those who will lose them this year because of
American drug policy. Large bales of hemp in a 'free market' would probably
be worth around $300.00.
The uses of hemp make it an ideal alternative crop that would have saved
farms this year. American drug policy prevents farmers from growing this
crop, which would have a solid demand for its many uses.
This year at fairs and "Farm Aid" gatherings proponents of legalization
should point out to farmers that the nation's drug policy has lost farms for
many. A good and cheap way to get attention at these gatherings is to put a
bale on a trailer with a sign that explains, "If this bale was made of hemp
it would save your farms and feed your families......"
There are three political parties in Oklahoma that advocate legalization of
hemp. It is time for Republicans and Democrats to admit to the harm caused
citizens by the American drug policy. It is time to confront incumbent
politicians with this issue and make them explain why this change cannot be
made.
Tom Saunders
Bill Of Attainder Project
http://www.isc-durant.com/tom/billofattainder
**********
He Da Man; He Da Main Man!
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Augusta (GA) Chronicle, July 4, 1999
Letters to the Editor
Alleges G. W. Bush has connection with Freemasons
George W. Bush is the leading fund raiser for the Republican Party
because he is backed by the Texas Freemasons. Naturally, if he is backed by
them, he would be backed by all Freemasons. Since the Freemasons essentially
own and operate America, he is bound to be a shoo-in for the presidency.
I was up on the Internet last year browsing the Mason websites and
clicked on a picture of George W. Bush signing a document at a table and he
was surrounded by a group of Masons dressed in suits and displaying their
lambskin tool pouches in full view.
For those of you who doubt the presence of Masons in business, just
start looking for pyramids, stars, arches or miters in the logos of
corporations or businesses in your area.
If you doubt the presence of Masons in the government, just look at the
pyramid on the back of the $1 bill or visit the Washington monument the next
time you are in Washington, D.C.
I thing all candidates should have to declare whether they are members
of secret organizations, like the Masons or the Council on Foreign Relations,
or it they are primarily backed by these organizations.
With Mr. Bush and his big-business backers you will get no real change
in government. The accumulation of wealth and power is the highest expression
there is in a secular society. We have reached that plateau. For our
government to achieve any higher status, it must step up onto a spiritual
plane higher than the one it is on now. George W. Bush is powerless to take
that step.
Ken Lummis
Martinez, GA
**********
Subj: Special Report: Gene Rightmyer surfaces again? BATF Agent to speak in
Vegas?
From: GroomWatch
Here is a description of Gene Rightmyer, one of the listed speakers at the
upcoming conference of "law enforcement officials and military personnel"
taking aim at Patriots and "Homegrown Extremists", to be held July 12-16 at
the
Golden Nugget Hotel in Las Vegas.
According to the group known as International Association of Undercover
Officers which sponsors a website:
http://www.traincops.com/Homegrown%20Extremists%20LV.htm
Here is the background of Gene Rightmyer:
"Gene Rightmyer - Gene is retired from the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and
Firearms. He has over thirty years of law enforcement experience and has
extensive experience in investigating organized crime and right wing terrorist
organizations in the United States. Gene developed and coordinated numerous
long term undercover operations against these groups. Gene was also personally
targeted by an extremists group while employed with ATF. He presently provides
instruction in these areas at the Federal Law Enforcement Training Center, the
Regional Counterdrug Training Academy and other law enforcement training
programs worldwide"
I was wondering if he is the same Gene Rightmyer who organized controversial
annual gatherings of "law enforcement" officials in the hills of Tennessee
while he was with the BATF in South Carolina? The annual gatherings were
known
as "The Good Ol' Boys' Roundup". However, this may simply be pure
coincidence? (same name, different person)?
However, according to PARASCOPE Roundup (1996) , written by Matrix Editor,
Charles Overbeck:
"In the summer of 1995, Americans were shocked by testimony before the
Senate Judiciary Committee regarding the "Good O' Boys Roundup," an
annual law enforcement gathering in the Tennessee hills which was
notorious for racist and lewd activity. Registration fees for the
Roundup were sent to Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms agent
Gene Rightmyer, who organized the gathering from the BATF office in
Greenville, South Carolina, and later from an office in Knoxville,
Tennessee, from 1980 until the Roundup was exposed in 1995.
But the story of the Good O' Boys Roundup may never have come to light
without the determined efforts of Alabama militia members and a
videotape filmed by a David Duke supporter who shot the footage of the
Roundup as an attendee in 1990. Although the "Good O' Boy" allegations
were originally mocked by the mass media, many of the claims were
later verified."
-Norio Hayakawa
------------------------------------------------------------------------
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